tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61755309782116189512024-03-13T12:39:01.114-07:00The Rising of a QueenIn this blog, I share my spiritual, mental, and emotional journey to fully realizing my potential as a human being. I hope my musings, experiences, and lessons help readers in their journeys.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-28693438051542497862017-11-29T00:20:00.000-08:002017-11-29T00:20:13.126-08:00Single Black Female<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I haven't written in a long while, mostly because I had so much to say that I couldn't really organize my thoughts to my liking. Recently, however, I had an experience that I can't seem to get out of my head. It was actually something that I was surprised I had escaped for as long as I had. During Thanksgiving, a loved one was "badgering" me about being single.<br />
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I've been trying to convince myself that I mistook his concern and desire for me to be happy for a slight. To be fair, we've never had an adversarial relationship and he's family so I don't believe his intention was to be hurtful. Nevertheless, I took it personally and felt attacked because the question "Why don't you have a man" made me feel as though it was my fault that I am single...and that being single was wrong. Upon further contemplation, I came to realize that it's not my "fault" that I'm single.<br />
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It's not my fault that many men don't realize that I have wide hips to birth a nation and an ample bosom to feed a nation.</blockquote>
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It's not my fault that they don't know that my behind is round to cushion the 7 times I fall so that I may rise 8, or that my plump thighs...well that's just for his comfort</blockquote>
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It's not my fault that men don't overstand that my nostrils are wide to smell the b.s. that Babylon slings my way to break my spirit</blockquote>
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It's not my fault that the fellas don't recognize that my nappy hair and melaninated skin protect me from the climate, a climate that is charged with words and behaviors intended to demoralize, denigrate, discourage, and generally break me</blockquote>
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Nah, it ain't my fault.</blockquote>
I'm not single by choice, and I am single by choice. There's a man out there who's seeking what I have to offer, but he's unique himself. So, I guess my reply is that it's not that I "can't get a man," it's that some men just don't get me.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-11439297934979248222016-03-29T15:25:00.001-07:002016-03-29T15:25:41.779-07:00A Little Birthday Gift from the Universe...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just had a birthday, and although I admit I was dreading it because lately, I have been buying into society's belief that once a woman reaches a certain age she should be archived, I am thankful for another year of life, experiences, and hopefully wisdom.<br />
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One piece of wisdom that has been like a truck blaring its headlights in my rearview mirror is how little other's thoughts and opinions of me really matter. The older I get, the more I understand that everyone has something going on in their lives that skew their view of life and the people in it. What's disheartening is that they often tend to vomit those view all over social media, and many people take social media waaay too seriously.<br />
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Some people base the way they deal with someone on how many of their posts a person does or doesn't like, or if they respond with a different opinion than their own, completely discounting their interaction with those people outside in the real world.<br />
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The thing, however, that irritates me is the hypocrosy. Whenever you hear about someone committing suicide or being bullied, there are all of these posts saying 'reach out to someone' 'I'm here for any of you' 'bullyng is wrong.' But some of the same people post memes making fun of the way people look or are dressed or behaving, and often these are people they don't even know. I'm sure that at some point, the people in those memes see them. How do they feel? Do they feel bullied? Suicidal? Can they reach out to you? Will you be there for them?<br />
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And about suicidal and depressed people reaching out to you; most of them aren't going to call you or message you and say, 'I'm depressed, I'm suicidal.' If you truly care,reach out to people just to check in on them. Making fun of people just because it makes you feel better about yourself and your situation is counteractive to 'being there.'<br />
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Finally, stop letting social media be the gps for how you feel or think about yourself or your life. Social media is just a place to let your narcissistic side run free. It's a chill spot for the ego. If you are depressed or suicidal, cancel all of your social media accounts and go find a real face to interact with.<br />
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This is one little piece of wisdom I've gained and hope to carry into the next 60 years...feel free to take some too.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-55377307048738743732015-06-21T13:39:00.000-07:002015-06-21T13:39:27.608-07:00 "There shall be no solution to this race problem until you, yourselves, strike the blow for liberty." — Marcus Garvey <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>"</i><i>Men search the
pages of history for solutions, for precedents, but
there are none. This, then, is the ultimate challenge.
Where are we to look for our survival, for the
answers to the questions which have never before been
posed? We must look, first, to Almighty God, Who has
raised man above the animals and endowed him with
intelligence and reason. We must put our faith in Him,
that He will not desert us or permit us to destroy
humanity, which He created in His image. And we must
look into ourselves, into the depth of our souls. We
must become something we have never been and for
which our education and experience and environment
have ill-prepared us. We must become bigger than we
have been, more courageous, greater in spirit, larger
in outlook. We must become members of a new race,
overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate
allegiance not to nations but to our fellow men
within the human community."~His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I 1963 Speech to the UN</i></span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The quote above comes from the same speech as the more well known quote that Bob Marley made into the song "War." It is just as true and relevant today as it was over 50 years ago when Emperor Haile Selassie made the speech. I had to seek out His Majesty's words to try to quell the rage building inside of me due to the circumstances America finds itself in today. But let's face it, hatred and bigotry is swelling around the world.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was thinking yesterday that if my grandmother, who marched with Dr. King, was alive today, her head and heart would be reeling with despair and disbelief from this deja vu, this flashback to a time long before I was born. She would probably feel like she failed her great grand baby by not making sure the job was complete. But I would have to tell her that she and her generation can't take on the blame because laws change circumstances not hearts and minds.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Today, this father's day, there are offspring mourning their fathers rather than celebrating them. There is a church in Charleston, SC who instead of celebrating and revering fatherhood, is praying for solace, comfort, peace, and protection because we as a race, the <i>human</i> race, have failed to "<i>become bigger than we have been, more courageous, greater in spirit and larger in outlook</i>." Because of our failure (not just our ancestors') racism is not only still alive, but regaining the strength of Dr. King's days. You disagree? Let me illustrate:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The Emanuel African American Episcopal Church Massacre</b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b> Not a Gun Control Issue</b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">President Obama and other gun control proponents would have you believe that this tragedy would have been averted had we had better gun control laws. Although I agree, we need better gun control laws, this was not some "mentally unstable" individual with unknown motives who committed a mass shooting because he had access to a gun. This was a racially motivated attack on black people. The shooter himself said it. In 1963, the weapon of choice was fire bombs. But I believe that Mr. President didn't feel he could make this admission because after all, he's the president of the racists too.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Not an "Attack on Christianity"</b></span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So in this day, we are so familiar with the diversion tactics of those who push their own agendas and ideologies rather than stand for right. There are "news" agencies claiming that that youth was declaring war on Christianity. But he shot up a <i>black</i> church because <i>black</i> people were in it. The shooter himself said it.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Not a New Thing</b></span></span></span></blockquote>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In Birmingham, Alabama: It, too, was a racist attack that used a bomb on the 16th Street Baptist Church, killing four black girls on a Sunday in 1963. Protests have been flooding the streets in the last couple of years over police violence against blacks, yet, a senator, who is old enough to remember the 1963 bombing, has the gall to say it is "unfathomable" that someone would do this. He knows as well as I do that racists ideology is still being taught and upheld...the presence of the confederate flag at the capitol building in South Carolina should be evidence enough.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The Cause of My Rage</b></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Many of you may have no real concept of what it is like to live as a black person in America...especially as a black woman. Let me give you a tiny glimpse:</span></span></span><br />
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<li><span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Trust: </b>Bob Marley said, "Man to man is so unjust. Ya don't know who to trust." Imagine knowing that you are surrounded by at least 5 types of people but not always knowing which they are:<b> 1</b>. People who admit they don't like you because you're black <b>2.</b> People who don't like you because you're black but don't admit it <b>3. </b>People who don't realize they don't like you because you're black and thus keep their feet in their mouths <b>4</b>. People who don't like certain aspects about your "blackness" <b>5. </b>Those who sincerely like you as you are</span></span></span></li>
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<li><span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Abandonment </b>: I have many friends and acquaintances whom I know are good, caring people who are all for equal rights and justice. Yet, when events like the Charleston Massacre happens (in fact, especially this event) they go silent. I see no posts, save for condolences, about the event and I hear no outrage from them. Mind you, there are those who are eternal warriors for justice and I am thankful for them. But to some of my non-black acquaintances, are you aware how something like this effects your black friends? Are you aware how one word of solidarity from you would comfort us? And please realize, some of the 5 types of people I mentioned above are <i>black</i> too. And some of you go silent as well. Do you really believe we have "overcome"? Do you think <i>this</i> is "the mountain top"? And no one steps up as a leader. I would, but I've only got 12 followers on this blog, I clearly can't garner support.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
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<li><span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Fear </b>: I don't fear for my own life, but I have a bit of fear for these young people behind me who don't know their history nor do many of them have a true knowledge or understanding of what's going on today and the significance of it. Those who do, fight back, but they do so in a way that is unsafe for them because they have no guidance or leadership. Some of those 5 types of black people blame their "insolence" for their unfair treatment, when they should thank them for reminding them that they too should stand up for their rights. </span></span></span></li>
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<li><span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Pain</b>: It pains me to see injustices and wickedness thrive unabated. There are good people in the world, many of them are white, <i>and</i> police officers. But when will they stand up for good? All who don't stand up are to blame as much as the oppressors. "<i>our ultimate
allegiance not to nations but to our fellow men
within the human community." </i>I also have to endure the pain of rejection from all men because the black woman is treated like the wretches of society. I endure stereotypes perpetuated by media and my own people, I endure the curiosity of those who ask me questions like I'm a creature from outer space. But mostly, I endure the pain of having to watch atrocities occur knowing nothing will be done to change it.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">These are just a few sources of the rage building inside of me. The mental anguish of knowing I can't stop these things on my own is exhausting. I'm a rasta woman, and yes, we are about peace and love, but we are also about equal rights and justice. So, I'll leave you with the most famous quote from His Imperial Majesty's speech as food for thought:</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">"On
the question of racial discrimination, the Addis
Ababa Conference taught, to those who will learn,
this further lesson: That until the philosophy which
holds one race superior and another inferior is
finally and permanently discredited and abandoned:
That until there are no longer first-class and second
class citizens of any nation; That until the color of a man's skin is of no more significance than the
color of his eyes; That until the basic human rights
are equally guaranteed to all without regard to race;
That until that day, the dream of lasting peace and
world citizenship and the rule of international
morality will remain but a fleeting illusion, to be
pursued but never attained; And until the ignoble and
unhappy regimes that hold our brothers in Angola, in
Mozambique and in South Africa in subhuman bondage
have been toppled and destroyed; Until bigotry and
prejudice and malicious and inhuman self-interest
have been replaced by understanding and tolerance and
good-will; Until all Africans stand and speak as free
beings, equal in the eyes of all men, as they are in
the eyes of Heaven; Until that day, the African
continent will not know peace. <b>We Africans will fight,
if necessary</b>, and we know that we shall win, as we
are confident in the victory of good over evil." </span></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>~His Imperial Majesty Haile Selassie I 1963 Speech to the UN</i></span></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-53834285085984676252015-05-31T20:55:00.001-07:002015-05-31T20:55:48.502-07:00It's the "isms" That Will Be Our Demse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied together into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. We are made to live together because of the interrelated structure of reality . . . Before you finish eating breakfast in the morning, you’ve depended on more than half the world. This is the way our universe is structured, this is its interrelated quality. We aren’t going to have peace on Earth until we recognize the basic fact of the interrelated structure of all reality. “</i></h3>
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<i>-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 1967 Christmas Sermon on Peace</i></blockquote>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If I hadn't accredited this quote to Dr. King, some might think it came from The Dalai Lama or Th<span style="line-height: 20px;">ich Nhat Hanh . That is because most religious/spiritual leaders who are true to their faiths know this to be true...universally. Those who are truly interested in peace realize that the way to it is not by forwarding individual agendas or misinterpretations of religious/spiritual texts which seems to be the pervasive trend in society today.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I, personally, am aggrieved by the way humanity is treating one another. The world has come up with various ranking systems that boil down to most and least worthy of a humane, dignified, fair, and peaceful life. We climb over each other with our words, economics, laws, beliefs, and other weapons to declare our superiority. I think some would be content to heard all of the people who they didn't like into a cave to rot and die, not realizing that any one of them could change the world for the better one day.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">It's the "isms" that will be our (humanity's) demise. Sexism gave permission to racism which led to class ism and ageism and soon to be homosexual-ism (I say soon to be because gays are not a protected class yet so discriminating against them (apparently) isn't illegal, yet...which seems to define "isms.") We as a society haven't yet realized that allowing one group to be denied rights, dignity, and opportunity opens the door to deny others the same. Let's face it, unless you're a straight, white, Christian male with no disabilities, not overweight and have never served in the armed forces, you will fall into one group or another who can be discriminated against or berated. (Actually, if you are that male, you probably come under fire for that too.)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20.7000007629395px;">Are you aware that in 1964 Congress passed Public Law 88-352 (78 Stat. 241). The provisions of this civil rights act forbade discrimination on the basis of sex as well as race in hiring, promoting, and firing? Did you know that </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">Title VII
of the act created the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) to
implement the law and</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">subsequent
legislation expanded the role of the EEOC so that the EEOC enforces laws that
prohibit discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, national origin,
disability, or age in hiring, promoting, firing, setting wages, testing,
training, apprenticeship, and all other terms and conditions of employment?* Or
did you think that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 only addressed laws regarding
African Americans? Note: When you endeavor to deny the rights of others, you
subsequently deny yourself rights. (See</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span aria-haspopup="true" id=":11.8" role="menuitem" tabindex="-1">MLK</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 115%;">quote
above)</span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm not just talking about incidents that make the headlines either. People on social media regularly attack one another with ease for the way they look and the things they like and do. It doesn't matter that they often don't know anything about the people they berate, nor does age seem to matter. I've seen people denigrating 16 year old Jaden Smith and 14 year old Willow Smith for their thoughts on the universe, simply because they didn't understand the higher energy concepts these children were speaking about. Social networkers have even gone so far as to chide young Jaden for wearing a dress. As someone who was forced to wear a uniform from kindergarten to twelfth grade, I can appreciate a young person who bucks societal "norms" and dares to erase rules laid out for him by ones who don't even know him. And did I mention these are children?</span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And what about the children? What effect does all of this ranking, demeaning, cruelty, and separation have on the youth? I'll tell you. They mimic that behavior. I work with some of the cruelest beings known to man...the middle schooler. Not only do they have irrational brains due to raging hormones and an "in between" lifestyle (in between being a child and a young adult), they still lack the filters that most adults acquire over the years. They are trying so hard to grow up, and the only way they can figure this out is by watching adults and doing what they do. Don't get me wrong, middle schoolers are also very insightful and thoughtful beings, but their quest during this time is to fit in and belong, so being themselves hardly seems an option because, let's face it, adolescence is an awkward time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I listen to how these children talk to each other when they're <i>friends</i> and it makes me cringe. My biggest job is teaching them how to be kind again. Then I have to deal with the fallout of their words. There are 12 year olds who want to harm themselves because of the words spoken to them by their friends. Where do the children get this behavior and why do they think it's ok? I'll let you answer that yourself. </span></span></div>
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<span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It doesn't seem to matter, these days, what knowledge, talent, skills one might possess that can change the course of humanity. We seem to miss the fact that we are dealing with other human beings. Those who cite religious beliefs somehow overlook the basic tenets of their own faith in order to force everyone to live and believe as they do.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"><span style="font-size: 18px; line-height: 20.7000007629395px;"><i>A new commandment I give you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another. John 13:34</i></span></span></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> "O mankind! We created you from a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know and honor each other (not that you should despise one another). Indeed the most honorable of you in the sight of God is the most righteous." (Quran, 49:13)<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span></i></blockquote>
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<i><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD. (Torah: Leviticus 19:17-18) </span></i></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I could go on with quotes from most religious texts and they will all have the same theme; love one another. If you are not religious at all, consider Chaos Theory:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Essentially, the theory looks at something called sensitive dependence on initial conditions. This means that even a very minute change in the initial conditions of a system can have dramatic effects on that system over time.To put this in more simple terms, consider a football team. Each individual player has a certain set of quantifiable skills at their position, skills which can be given a score. Summing the scores of all persons on a team, then comparing one team with the scores from another team should give a clear sense of the difference and thus predict the winner of a game between them. This is the linear way of looking at a team, only as the sum of its parts. However, there are many other sets of variables that come into play such as “team chemistry”, whether the game is played at home or away, experience playing with one another, the mood or attitude of an individual player or players, and on and on. These can and do lead to results that are different from those predicted by linear thinking.**</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">So, when you think you are bringing equilibrium to this "system" we've built with the behavior and laws that you believe will create the environment in which you desire to live, you are neglecting to consider the variables which could upset the outcome such as the beliefs, will, desires, attitudes, and fortitude of others. There are many other variables that can come into play that will skew the outcome because of the "sensitive dependence on initial conditions."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px;">In other words, "all life is interrelated." We are interdependent upon one another to live at peace and harmony on this planet. Trying to force a group or even one person to bend to one's will, will inevitablly upset the balance of nature and eliminate the possibility of peace. All of this wicked self serving behavior and attitudes serves no purpose but to harm the doer of the deed. </span>"Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them."Proverbs 26:27 </span></div>
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*</span><a href="http://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/civil-rights-act/">http://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/civil-rights-act/</a><br />
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<span style="color: lime;">**</span><a href="http://www.physicsplanet.com/articles/chaos-theory-simplified">http://www.physicsplanet.com/articles/chaos-theory-simplified</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-2750648708680349332015-04-07T00:43:00.000-07:002015-04-07T00:46:55.841-07:00Cause and Effect...Make the Connections<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's puzzling to me how many people fail to see that everything is connected. Causality, or cause and effect, alone connects people, actions, events. If someone at your job is fired, it will no doubt effect the way you work if new policy and procedure need to be put in place; how much you work if the terminated employee's work needs to be covered; or maybe just your lunch companion changes.</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EfcVxWH_Dsc/UOTSILEnscI/AAAAAAAAIVw/5IGqpowg5e8/s1600/Butterfly-Effect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EfcVxWH_Dsc/UOTSILEnscI/AAAAAAAAIVw/5IGqpowg5e8/s320/Butterfly-Effect.jpg" height="212" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">In chaos theory, the butterfly effect</span> is a term used to describe how small changes to a seemingly unrelated thing or condition (also known as an initial condition) can affect large, complex systems.*<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> These connections are also recognized outside science, in an area many think is oppositional, spirituality. In Hindu philosophy, the law of cause and effect is integral. it's called</span><i style="font-family: inherit;"> Karma.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i>So it frustrates me when some people fail to see the connections between two or more events. I realize that many people compartmentalize their lives. They find ways to continue to be entertained, to consume, and to enjoy the "pleasures" of life, all the while separating them from the ugly, unjust, inhumane, and uncomfortable people or events to which they are bound. Somehow, people rationalize this separation saying that what a person/organization/institution said or did (or didn't) has nothing to do with the product they are selling. (I'm sure Indiana hopes more people would think this way...I know some food companies who support gmos do.)</span></div>
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Another example, Duke just won the NCAA championship and many people were rooting for them and cheering them on. No one on my social media feed even mentioned that four days ago, a noose was found hanging from a tree on Duke's campus. Sure, the student who hung the noose was identified and expelled, but this is not the first racist incident on an American university campus in recent weeks.<br />
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So, what does this have to do with people cheering on Duke in the championship? Of course you should root for the <span style="font-family: inherit;">young people who worked hard for that achievement. You should also remember that those same youth, some of whom are African American, are students on that campus. Usually, where there is one roach, there are others. So, these students have to return to a campus to study with other students who may be harboring the same racist ideologies. But, people have rationalized that the problem is solved with the expulsion of the student. Why is no one calling for ,manditory racial sensitivity (at the very least) courses to be taught at universities across the country? I mean, those places are set up for education, how hard could it be to make it happen? Doing nothing can have as large an effect as doing something.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />It occurred to me that when some people compartmentalize life in this way, it is easy for them because they have never experienced the pain or humiliation, of racism, sexism, or homophobia. There are those who, although they recognize these things are wrong and they would never condon or participate in them, it is difficult for them to empathize and have enough compassion to stand up and speak up against them because they have never experienced these things, and probably never will. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">But Haile Selassie said,</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.25px;">"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph." Failing to make the connections keeps you silent. Silence condons the acts. Evil triumphs in the absence of condemnation.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 16.25px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">*</span><a href="http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-butterfly-effect.htm" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">ht</span>tp://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-butterfly-effect.htm</a></span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-92163220620841567502015-03-30T12:26:00.000-07:002015-03-30T13:09:34.560-07:00Through Pain Comes New Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://womenshealth.gov/pregnancy/images/second-stage-labor-illustation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://womenshealth.gov/pregnancy/images/second-stage-labor-illustation.jpg" style="cursor: move;" /></a>Losing loved ones is never easy. It's especially hard when the loss is an ending of one kind of relationship like romantic or friendship because we know that person is still around and we don't get to have interaction with them. You see, most of us get the circle of physical life. These bodies we reside in don't live forever, so we can come to grips with physical life ending...eventually. But because we form attachments by nature, letting go of them is difficult.<br />
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It takes Buddhist philosophy to explain the perils of attachment. <span style="font-family: serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">This is love, Buddha-style: </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">"impartial to all, free from excessive attachment or false hope and expectation; </span></span><span style="font-family: serif;"><span style="font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">accepting, tolerant, and forgiving. </span></span><span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">Buddhist non attachment doesn't imply complacence or indifference, or not having committed relationships or being passionately engaged with society, but rather has to do with our effort to defy change and resist the fact of impermanence and our mortality. By holding on to that which in any case is forever slipping through our fingers, we just get rope burn."(1)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">You see, in order to have attachment you need two things: the attacher and the thing (or person) to which the attacher is attached. But, non attachment is the exact opposite of separation. It is unity, oneness. If you have unified with the whole universe, then there is nothing outside of you, and thus nothing to which to attach.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">It may be easier for most of us to know we are all one, connected, than to feel it to the extent that we no longer form attachments. Thus, we go through this pain, feeling of loss while we try to get to that place. So in the meantime, there's another way of looking at so-called loss and the pain of it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">A fetus grows in its mothers womb for nine or so months. They are one, literally attached by the umbilical cord. The baby gets comfy, spending its time sleeping, eating, chilling. But as the baby grows, it becomes too big for the very space to which it is connected. So mommy, in all her wisdom, pushes the baby out when she feels it stretching for more space. This is a traumatic event for baby, and mommy. The birth canal is tight, mommy is squeezing, and the pain mommy is facing just to give baby enough space to grow is excruciating. But soon, baby emerges into this world with tons of space to grow and become who he/she is meant to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: serif; font-size: 16.7999992370605px;">Loss of friendships can feel traumatizing and painful, and we may still not understand why things had to change once we're out of the womb. But with time, patience, and faith, our new worlds will take shape and all will be revealed. To all of the friends I have lost, I'm sorry for whatever I did or didn't do, I wish you well, and thank you for the push.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/love-quotes.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: serif;">(1) </span><span style="font-family: serif;">http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/love-quotes.html</span></a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-1903961982572105762015-03-26T00:06:00.000-07:002015-03-26T00:06:26.449-07:00The Business of Life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Birthdays always make me reflect on the past year to illuminate my lessons and growth. Sometimes lessons only become apparent to me when I step back and view them from another perspective. One day, someone I care about did something that made me feel unworthy of love and respect. I immediately checked myself saying, "you've got to stop outsourcing your self worth." The thought then came to me; if I ran my life like the top business people ran their businesses, I would probably end up more mentally, emotionally, and physically in the black. I then thought, why aren't I? I mean, my life is serious business, right? So, consider this my annual report.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
1.<span style="font-family: inherit;"> I outsource my self worth-<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">(I'm</span> <span style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 115%;">too
dependent on others’ opinions of me</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-weight: bold; line-height: 115%;">)</span></span></h4>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.8666667938232px;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">I've spent far too much energy trying to please, impress, or get the attention or affections of other people. Usually my tactic has been to change, unconsciously, little things about the way I act, speak, dress, or anything else that I think will get others to love me or just like me. I, of course, am not able to change the<i> true</i> me and thus feel unworthy when I am revealed and eventually rejected.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.8666667938232px;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.8666667938232px;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">The truth is, it's not other people's jobs to like me, that's my job. Plus, not everyone we meet is meant to like us, nor are we meant to like everyone we meet. If you don't fit the profile, move on to the next person. Keeping your self worth in your own hands strengthens the value of your company...you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.8666667938232px;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></span></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 16.8666667938232px;">2. </span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Not enough faith in my product (I don’t believe
in myself enough)</span></b></h4>
<div style="text-align: left; text-indent: -24px;">
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"> Many of us don't give ourselves enough credit for our capabilities, our triumphs, or our resiliency. There's no reason each of us can't experience the peace, joy, and abundance we seek. We keep rejection, 'failures', and beliefs handed down to us by well meaning loved ones close enough to recall should we dare to stretch beyond our comfort zones. "To try is to risk failure, but risk must be
taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." ~by William
Arthur Ward </span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Risk is part of business and life. But
when you take stock of your gifts and match them with your passions, risks
become calculated and a bit more viable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #8e7cc3;"><br /></span></span></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;">3. </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Not getting a good return on my investments
(I give too much)</span></h4>
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Women tend to have this problem often. We're usually nurturers and so our instinct is to give until it hurts us. Giving is great. I think we should give more than we take (take, not receive). But, some people are uncomfortable with receiving when they feel they can't match and return the gift. Even if you don't expect anything in return, the receiver may feel an imbalance in the relationship and pull away. Worse are the people who take advantage of your kindness and generosity and end up using you. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #b4a7d6;">The key is balance. Let's say you were investing in a young person's future. Would you pay four years worth of tuition in the first year, or would you pay year to year, or semester to semester waiting to see if the young person thrives or even decides to continue their education? It may sound manipulative, but it's really just pacing.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
4. <span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I don’t hold my board accountable for my
expectations of them (I give too many chances to those who wrong me)</span></h4>
<div>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. This isn't about forgiveness. We should absolutely forgive, for our own sakes. This is about knowing when to say when. Like with giving, some people will continue to try to get away with as much as they can as long as you let them. We teach people how to treat us. We should let our expectations be known and hold others to those standards. If they are unable to hold up their ends, forgive them and terminate the relationship.</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></span></div>
<h4 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">5.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">I don’t know my true market (I sometimes choose
the wrong company)</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></h4>
<div>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Like any business, you have to know your market. We are the sum of the five people with whom we spend the most time. If you are choosing the company of those who don't support your dreams and ideas, or who don't respect who you are, you are marketing yourself to the wrong demographic. You may admire people for different reasons, but that doesn't mean they are a good match for your companionship.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #b4a7d6;">Well there you have it, my annual report. I hope by this time next year these lessons have been mastered and my dividends (peace, love, joy, abundance in all areas of my life) have increased exponentially. I'm not perfect, but I believe true perfection is in striving diligently for it.</span></span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-40366319553699504992015-01-31T11:07:00.000-08:002015-02-01T00:27:38.090-08:00"For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: cyan;">I believe that at some point in every one's life, we reach an age where we are ready to receive (or remember) some vital knowledge about how to best maneuver through life. That age is different for everyone depending on his/her experiences, knowledge and willingness to receive said knowledge. Willingness is important because often times we might have to do things differently and think differently, which can be a challenge. Some people never open themselves up to receive this "awakening" because change can be difficult. But I believe we all reach that door.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
For the last few months, I've been receiving this transmission. It's funny because for the last five years I thought I was already receiving and figuring things out. But apparently, that was just prep time. I was merely connecting the receiver. I'm sure that I'm receiving now because of the contentment that has washed over me even when things that used to send me spiraling into anger, fear or sadness occur. I feel more grounded.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
What the heck am I talking about, right? Well, since January, I've been focusing on <i>me; </i>not in a selfish way, but in a calculated purpose driven way. You see, I'm a giver, a people pleaser, a mediator. In the past, being these things meant putting my own needs and desires on the back burner. It also meant feeling sorry for myself, blaming others for my lack, unhappiness, and feelings, both good and bad. Now that I am focusing on myself, I have a different perspective about everything.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
It began with my determination to bring more stability to my life both financially and emotionally. At work, I stopped relying on only what came naturally to obtain moderate success and decided to push myself to do things I subconsciously feared I couldn't do to achieve maximum success. I'm not just speaking of financial success (although that is included) but also doing the work that I now accept as my talent in a way that has maximum benefit for those I serve. I know that if I show enough belief in myself and ideas, others will have belief in me too.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
This required digging deep and figuring out why I dismiss great ideas and try not to over extend myself. There was only one answer: FEAR. In my personal life, I have had no problem over extending myself or putting my ideas out there for all to judge. But I was often met with rejection, disappointment, and regret (I hate that word). I began to understand that it wasn't any one's fault but my own that I allowed others opinions and actions to dictate how I proceed with my life.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
Just because someone may think that I am unworthy, for whatever reasons, doesn't mean that I am. Believing them is blaming them for my fear and takes the focus off of the part I play in my own life. I would get upset because people didn't see the <i>me</i> that I know that I am. But they didn't see me because I didn't let them. Now, some of those people have a view of me that is not me at all. There are people, however, who when I meet them see something special in me, and they show <i>me </i>to myself. Sometimes the people who "know" you the longest or "know" a lot of things about you, don't really know you at all.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
I accepted these views of me and stopped dead in my tracks thinking I needed to "fix" myself. The truth is, I blamed others for making me feel that I couldn't do or be who I already am. By focusing on myself, I take criticism as feedback, and if I find it to be false, I mentally feed it back to where it came from. I finally see that people have their own stuff going on and some of it can spill on me during daily interactions. It's not their fault for not seeing it, but it's not mine either...anymore.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br />
I've essentially turned the mirror inward to see myself more clearly and to reflect my inner light back on myself as a reminder of who I really am. I push myself past my comfort zone, I let go of old habits and desires, and I take each moment as it comes. Now I'm not all "life is a bowl of cherries" positive all of the time. I accept my negative feelings when they happen. But I live in the "moment" and a moment is a very short time. I have read that a moment is roughly 90 seconds, so I try not to dwell in those negative feelings too much past that amount of time. I am content with my life as it is because I know I am now doing my very best and what it yields is what it yields. </span><br />
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I am hopeful without being unrealistic, yet I have not lost my altruism (a trait of mine that many have called naivete). I am introspective in a more constructive way. Instead of focusing on what I did wrong, I focus on what I can do better next time. I am forgiving in a more useful way. Instead of thinking the person had a bad moment, I understand that there are issues that person has to work out and the offense may occur again until they do. I just have to decide if I want to deal with it again.</span><br />
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When all is said and done, I guess this point in my life where I am receiving these insights means I am maturing again. I think we mature in stages rather that all at once. Wisdom comes with readiness rather than age. I liken it to a pitcher in baseball. He has a number of pitches in his arsenal, but he doesn't bring his best pitch until the time is right.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-62165123144266234162014-12-30T12:26:00.001-08:002014-12-30T12:27:34.424-08:002014 Wrap Up: Lessons<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: cyan;">This time of year I always reflect on the preceding months and mostly give thanks that I'm still here, but also take note of the lessons I've learned. It's always good to take inventory of your lessons and store them in a place in your brain where you can easily access them...lest you forget.</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">I spent the greater part of 2014 in a deep depression, It has been a strange roller coaster ride that began in a deep pit at the end of 2013 with a slow climb throughout 2014. I was hurt, grieving, heartbroken, financially weakened, taken for granted, and lonely. I lost friendships, became very ill,saw one of my idols pass,witnessed great tragedies world wide, and saw the beginning of a great movement (or two).</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">Despite all of this, I've learned great lessons and I am on the upside of this climb.One of the most important things I learned was that I do not want to waste anymore time or energy on things or people that do not uplift me either mentally, spiritually or emotionally. The phrase "Thinking of yourself is not selfish, not thinking of others is" kept popping up on social media. It reminds me of an analogy from air travel that I always use. Life is like the flight attendant says, 'put your mask on first before helping others.' How can you help someone else in need if your own safety is in jeopardy?</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">The real lesson, well, more like a revelation, came to me after I began a new job. Out of the blue, I suddenly learned acceptance. I had been struggling with life like someone trying to walk against a strong wind. I kept pushing against it trying to force my way down a path that clearly wasn't meant for me. I've struggled to "fit in," be heard as someone with something worth hearing or seen as someone who is beautiful and worth knowing. I've struggled with acquiring a life that I was told I should have and thought I wanted, and maybe I do want but I certainly can live happily another way. But it was as if the hand of God or the universe stopped me in my tracks, turned me around and told me to go with the wind.</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">We grow up hearing that we need to do this, then that, then find this to live happily ever after. We're fed fairy tales to illustrate how life is supposed to go (and it never does) and we buy into it, But maybe we don't all fill our cups with the same stuff, i.e., great wealth, a beautiful spouse and lovely children. Maybe some of us fill our cups with adventures to exciting places, friends from varying backgrounds, or brief but extraordinary love affairs. Perhaps our cups are meant to be filled with a substance made especially for us.</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">So, I've stopped pushing against the wind. I no longer strive to get people to love me or even like me. I can fully be who I am because who I am is good enough...or even better! I have opened my eyes to see all of those people who <i>do</i> see and hear me and love what they see and hear. I admit at first I thought it was apathy, which I did not want. Then I realized that it wasn't that I didn't care, I was just ok with what other people are able to give. People don't always intentionally withhold kindness, attention, or love. Sometimes they are just giving the best they have at that time. I can't ask for more than that.</span><br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">I'm grateful for this epiphany because it means that I don't have to change who I am and give less love, in order to protect myself from harm. By accepting people (myself included) and situations that I can't change, as they are, I can let go of expectations and the desire for more from them. More can be gotten in many places to fill my cup...and I intend to fill it. May your cup runneth over in 2015.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-73121326960467776722014-12-08T22:46:00.000-08:002014-12-09T23:41:01.421-08:00Tell the Children the Truth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: #20124d;">I've waited to make this post, waited until I had something thoughtful and/or compelling to say about the events and the reactions to them that are occurring in the U.S. I am, of course referring to the two grand jury decisions to not indict the murderers of Michael Brown and Eric Garner. I still haven't formulated the perfect thought, mostly because my brain is in a haze and my emotions are swirling like a funnel cloud.I've read many articles that better articulate what I would like to say, but there are some points that haven't been mentioned. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">I work around black children, men and women in an educational situation daily. I see young black boys dutifully doing their homework with hopes of a promising future, loving parents checking in on their behavior when they pick them up, and intelligent caring men organizing activities that will shape young minds. What I don't see or rather hear is a discussion about racism in America, police violence or the protests that have followed.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">Any educational institution that is not ensuring that its students are informed, having thoughtful conversations, or at the very least have a safe, positive forum in which to express themselves is doing the students, this country, and our future a huge disservice. Anyone who cannot see that this country is at a crossroads, a critical juncture not seen in this country since the civil rights era, is seriously deluded or has his/her head in the sand.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">We are in the midst of another big civil rights movement. Civil rights movements are occurring all of the time, but this one is on a grander scale, like the one that happened in the 50's and 60's. The difference this time is that Americans of all races are deeply entrenched in the fight, and they have support from all over the world. This is no longer a black issue, it is a human rights issue.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">Young people, hopefully, have much more of the future in front of them and should therefore have their eyes open as they witness this shift. They should have a say and be informed enough to express themselves. Humans never want to upset children with the truth. They've invented Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, the tooth fairy and a slew of Disney characters in order to delay reality for as long as possible. Perhaps we should stop looking at reality as a negative. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">Telling the children the truth about what's going on in America right now is an opportunity to teach compassion, foster empathy, and enable them to begin to think critically. It will also, of course, prepare them. The thought that stays in the forefront of my mind is that too many people are unable to put themselves in another's shoes and imagine their pain. This,in turn, inhibits compassion. What will become of this world without compassion? The only thing I can see happening is a complete disregard for life...hmmm, seems like we're there.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">Bring the children in on this conversation because this is happening to them too. This is their past, present, and future. I'm telling you I have talked to some thoughtful youth who could teach us all a great deal. Tell the children the truth.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-24811444069931594552014-11-29T16:54:00.001-08:002014-11-29T16:56:41.780-08:00Tis the Season?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: lime;">When I was a little girl, I used to wake up on Christmas morning and whisper "happy birthday Jesus," because I thought Christmas day was a celebration of Christ's birth. The night before, was at church playing Mary in the nativity play or (ridiculously) dressed in a beenie with matching scarf and gloves...in L.A., singing Christmas carols. Those are the memories that first come to mind when I think of Christmas during my childhood. Of course I remember waking up to tons of presents and getting most of what I asked for and then some too! But as I got older (and realized my family's financial state) I didn't need so many things. Now I don't celebrate at all.</span><br />
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Yesterday I saw on the news how in one mall, a woman dressed like, Mrs. Claus I guess, was asking people to name all of Santa's reindeer for a coupon. Many people were able to do so. I thought to myself, 'I wonder if they can name all of the Apostles.' They then cut to scenes from a store where people were literally trampling over one another...just to get in the store...and fighting over big screen tvs. Wow, is this Christmas?</span><br />
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Some say the idea of gift giving during Christmas came from the Magi bringing gold, frankincense and myrrh to the baby Jesus. Seems like we should be giving gifts to Jesus since it's his day. How would Christians give gifts to Jesus in 2014?</span><br />
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Well, in the bible Matthew 25: 35-36 Jesus says</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;">'For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 I was naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.'</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;">And he continues in verse 40 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'</span><br />
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So, Jesus has told you what to get him for Christmas...help those in need....and no one NEEDS a 60" tv. If you can't manage that, why not at least focus on spending time with loved ones without worrying about spending a bunch of money on elaborate gifts AND dinner. The amount of food people buy for one meal could feed a small family for 2 weeks...why not do that for someone in need. Remember the "reason for the season."</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-8435838585376225842014-10-16T11:57:00.000-07:002014-10-16T11:57:13.231-07:00It's Hard, but It's Fair<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #20124d;">"It's hard, but it's fair." That's something an ex of mine used to say. People would always get a little perturbed because they couldn't understand how something that was hard could also be fair. I admit I couldn't see it myself for a while, but years after we broke up, his meaning, at least what I gleaned from the statement, is becoming a little clearer. What's fair is not always easy, especially if fairness considers the greater good.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">I think that sometimes in life, if we want what we think is fair, what we believe we deserve, we have to make some hard choices. Some things cannot exist in the same space. For example, if we want to be healthy, we may have to give up unhealthy habits such as junk food, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. A healthy body often cannot exist in the same space as certain bad habits. In other words, sometimes in order to get what we desire, we have to get out of our own way.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">If you desire something or some situation in your life, it may be necessary to make room for it. If we are unable or unwilling to do this, yet we still make supplications to the Universe or a higher power, the Universe/higher power will do it for us. We are creators, but I think we are more like the architects who come up with the design, how we envision our lives, but the Universe/higher power takes care of the building..how the design comes together. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">If in order to build our desires, we must first tear down some realities, the Universe/higher power will send us "memos" or signs to do so. But make no mistake, if we fail to comply, the builders will procede with demolition because they want us to have what we desire. This may mean dismantling relationships, jobs, living situations, etc. in order to replace them with what we have ordered. If you desire to be happy, perhaps the Universe/higher power knows that happiness and your current mate, friend, job, etc. cannot exist in the same space.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">It's a little easier if we take heed to the memos and take to clearing a way on our own. The best ways I can think of to do this is to take stock of your life often and listen to your intuition. Here's some tips:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d; font-size: large;"><b>Reveiw your current relationships/friendships/situations</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">1<b>. </b>Are your relationships balanced?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"> a. Are you giving more than you receive be it material things, emotionally, energy wise?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><b> </b>b. Do you find yourself giving more chances than you get? Is forgiveness followed by changed behavior, or are the offenses repeated?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;">2. Do you feel the same about the person, job, home, etc. as you did in the beginning?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"> a. Are you staying because it is comfortable, safe, or familiar?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"> b. Does the person or people involved feel the same about you?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"> c. Are you drained or energized by your interactions?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;">3. Are you growing, becoming stagnant, or regressing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"> </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;">When we envision the things or people that we believe will make us happy, we only have our own knowledge and experience to go on. But the Universe/higher power has <b>EVERYTHING/EVERYONE</b> to go on. The builders may know of materials that will better give us our desired outcome than what we ordered. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #20124d;">Understanding this, I now understand the phrase "It's hard, but it's fair." Letting go of people, things, or situations can be hard, but it may be necessary in order to make room for what we truly desire..and that's fair, isn't it?</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-78938376726164870102014-09-07T11:21:00.000-07:002014-09-07T11:21:41.334-07:00Climbing Out of the Pit of Depression: A Personal Story<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Beloved readers, this post is much more personal than my usual posts. I am finally finding the courage to share something that I've been going through in the hopes that it will help someone else. I always try to write the pain out, but in this blog, I tend to hold back. I always try to be positive and/or solution oriented here, but I have struggled to do both or either, so I redacted a great deal. People expect me to be positive and so I try to acquiesce. But now that I am on the tail end of this trying time, I have a bit more perspective.<div>
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For the past nine months I have been going through a severe depression. It began with a loss of a close loved one and spiraled from there. I now realize that a great deal of that came from a severe vitamin D deficiency (being vegan puts me at an even greater risk-check your levels fellow vegans!) That may explain why I couldn't really verbalize exactly why I was so sad. I did, by the way, tell a few friends that I was depressed, but that's when I realized that most people don't know how to help a person in this situation.</div>
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Yes, I thought of seeking professional help, and still may, but I've always believed that loved ones could easily do what psychologists get paid to do. I also did not want someone giving me a "magic pill" to mask the issue, not to mention that seeing a therapist of any sort is taboo in the African American culture. I knew I wasn't suicidal, so I figured I'd power through it. It's interesting, when one is depressed but not suicidal, people seem to expect you to just choose to be happy.</div>
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Anyone who knows me knows that I have various different tools to reconnect with my joy or to get through trials. I employed them all and even found new ones. I could usually get a few hours of reprieve from the sadness, but it would return. Even music became a temporary fix. I am a gregarious person. Even though I can be shy in some social situations, I'd much rather be in the company of others during these times than alone. Even if I'm just observing, I am able to soak up positive and happy vibes and feel better. It works the other way too, of course. If I am around negative energy of any sort, those emotions attach themselves to me.</div>
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After Robin Williams committed suicide, I was struck with such a fear for those out there who were going through what I, and apparently Robin Williams, had been going through and were struggling to find a stronghold. At that time, however, I did not have the strength or the answers to give in order to help. I'm still not sure I have the answers for those struggling. I do have advice for those of you who may have loved ones who are suffering:</div>
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1. <b>Check on people regularly</b> and delve deeper into answers like I'm "fine," "ok," "alright," and even "good." Ask them specific questions about what's going on with them. "Good" just may mean better than yesterday which was horrible. Or, maybe they are just trying not to be a "downer."</blockquote>
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2.<b> Take the time to spend some time</b>. Even if the person chooses not to speak about what's bothering them (they may not always have an answer) time spent in the company of others remembering the simple joys of life can take them away, if only for a short time, from their depression.</blockquote>
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3. <b>Be kind to everyone</b>. I'm sure you've seen many memes that talk about how you never know what a person is going through, and it's true. Everyone we encounter has things going on in their lives we know nothing about. If we are mindful to be kind and gentle with one another, we may make some one's day a little easier to get through.</blockquote>
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4. <b>DO NOT CHASTISE THEM FOR FEELING SAD</b>-You may not even think of yourself as chastising when you tell them that they should try being grateful for what they have. I've learned from experience that you can be grateful for all the things and people in your life and still not be able to shake the sadness. You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. You can want and try to be happy but still feel sadness sitting in the pit of your stomach like a lump of coal. </blockquote>
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5. <b>Don't wash over their feelings </b>like they are just having a bad day. A bad day for you may be things not going well at work. Sometimes a "bad day" from a depressed person is not being able to smile through the pain that has been going on for months. </blockquote>
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6. <b>Don't call them selfish</b>. Yes, they are thinking only of themselves, but when you are in this state, selfishness becomes a biological imperative. </blockquote>
For those of you who may be struggling with depression, I implore you to reach out to someone, anyone, even a stranger, and express your sadness. Sometimes being able to just get it out in the open makes you feel lighter. Find your tools, things that bring you joy, and use them often...even if they are only temporary fixes. It's good to be able to remember how to be happy and that you can be happy.<br />
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We need to be gentle with each other. We need to be mindful of each other's lives. Robin Williams showed us that even a person who can make so many others' lives happier need the same in return. Lastly, hug each other. It's been proven that hugs can change your biology and your psychology.Give good, strong hugs that convey love and care. I am grateful to be on my way out of this dark time. I ask forgiveness from those who may not have gotten my best. I ask for patience from you as I climb back into the seat of happiness and reflect the light. I send love and strength to those of you still in pit of it. I'm here for you.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-55939991997497818562014-08-08T10:31:00.000-07:002014-08-08T18:45:59.105-07:00Wisdom From A Dream<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>Last night I had a powerful dream. I was in the desert at night sitting around a campfire with a group of people whose faces I didn't see but I knew I knew them. There was a Native American elder telling stories. The first story he told was of a man who spent his life searching for gold. One day he came upon a cave with several chests. One chest stood out because it had a golden sheen. He went to open it but it was locked, so he took out his tools and spent many hours attempting to unlock it. </b><br />
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<b>Meanwhile, the chest next to it which was made of splintering wood and had rusted hinges was unlocked. Inside it was diamonds, pearls, and rubies of tremendous value. But the man overlooked that chest and went about trying to unlock the other. As night fell, the man grew tired and decided to rest. When leaned against the wall, he noticed that the chest he had been working on was actually made of mirrored glass that had been reflecting the sun peering through and opening in the roof of the cave. He took a stone and smashed the chest open only to find that it was empty. Dejected, the man left the cave and continued his search...leaving the unnoticed chest full of jewels behind.</b><br />
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<b>The elder said, "The treasure you seek may be disguised but it is not hidden. You must open every chest to get to the heart of the matter." Then he instructed us to look into the fire and he tossed a stick into it and said, "See how the fire burns stronger with just a little fuel? But the flame must be fed."</b><br />
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<b>He continued with another story about a man who travelled the world seeking wisdom. He visited all of the known spiritual masters for counsel, but they all told him the same thing, "The wisdom you seek is already within you." The man was dissatisfied with this answer and continually replied, "If the wisdom was within me, I would not have travelled all of these miles seeking it!" The man became weary on his journey and sat on the side of a road under a tree weeping when another traveler came upon him. The traveler asked the man, "Why are you so sad dear friend?" The man replied, " I have travelled many miles the whole world around seeking wisdom from all of the great masters but none can tell me anything except 'the wisdom you seek is within you.' Can they not see I am not wise?" The traveller replied, of course they can because they know that one who possesses much wisdom has it in the heart, not on the lips and one head does not contain all the wisdom. Listen to your heart."</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, serif; line-height: 18.33333396911621px;"><b>The Native elder then said,"Our first teacher is our own heart." Then he instructed us to look into the fire again and said, "See how the twigs burn but the rocks beneath it absorb the fire and retain the heat. We must not be the fuel for the fire, but allow the fire to grow hot within us."</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;"><b>The final story he told I had already heard, then again it was my dream. He told the story of a man who heard the voice of God speak to him. The voice said, "See the large bolder at the bottom of that hill? Go and push it." The man was a spiritual and faithful servant and so he did as he was told by the Great Spirit. Everyday for months the man push the bolder all day making little progress. His muscles ached but grew, and his skin, bathed in daily sun, became tough and leathery. One day, exasperated, the man cried out, "Oh Great Spirit, I honor You, I have tried to do what you asked but I am not strong enough to push this bolder up that hill. Why have You given me such an impossible task?" Then the Great Spirit replied, "My son, you are a loyal servant and you have indeed done all I asked. I never asked you to push the bolder up the hill, I only asked you to push it! Look at how your muscles have grown and how much more power you have! See how tough your skin is because of the sun baking it daily! You are now strong enough for what is to come."</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;"><b>The elder then said to us, "Not every task will yield the results you expect, but you will grow stronger for it." He instructed us one last time to look into the fire. "Is the fire hot enough? How will you test it? Will you put your hand in it? Surely it is hot enough to burn your skin." Then he threw another small stick into the fire and said, "It is not your job to judge how hot the fire is. It is only your job to feed it. The fire will be hot enough...it is fire! Your only job is to keep it burning."</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Nimbus Roman No9 L, serif;"><span style="line-height: 21px;"><b>I woke up and wrote down all I had remembered because this was a rare and powerful dream. I think I have learned the lessons within it, but if I forget, I have it writing now! I know for sure that I must keep the fire burning by feeding it. I think the fire is passion and the fuel or wood can be many things; family, friends, love, music, knowledge, wisdom. I feel like my Father The Mighty King was speaking directly to me...just when I needed it. I hope this helps you too. </b></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-87779411687863348532014-07-23T23:58:00.000-07:002014-07-23T23:58:41.720-07:00Pay Attention<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">In my lifetime, I have personally known at least two people who have committed suicide and one whose death left questions. I have had fewer than six degrees of separation from many others, and who knows how many have attempted. Is this normal? Are we ok with it being normal if it is? At this moment in the world, devastating events are occurring that could (and should) have huge affect on our emotions and psyche. Are we paying enough attention to one another to make sure we're all ok?</span><div>
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">I'm going to get very personal. I have been dealing with loss and stress, and I feel particularly sensitive to the tragedies occurring around the world. I have too much reverence for life and those I would leave behind to take my own life, but I've been depressed nonetheless. I try to always be positive, even fake it until I make it if I must. I have, however, shared my feelings with a couple of people whom I feel close to, but I realize that people don't always know what to say in these situations. So they usually say and do nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">Sometimes words aren't enough anyway, but checking in and spending time can do wonders. It shows people they are cared for and reminds them about the joys of life. We, as a society, have a tendency to get lost in our own world, to hear and not listen, or to believe that others deal with life the same way that we do. In other words, our compassion gets distracted. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">This is a time for us to draw closer to one another. We need to combine our collective consciousness to not only raise the planet's vibration to a higher frequency, but to raise one another's spirits as well. I've said it time and time again, but now more than ever we should check in with one another and really see how we're all doing. Don't be too reticent to reach out, even to those we don't really know. Increase your compassion, even to levels that are almost uncomfortable. Share your strength, your positive energy, your love. We are in this together. What happens to one happens to all. Be mindful.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-83440856758718662452014-07-12T14:53:00.000-07:002014-07-12T14:53:15.472-07:00What are we missing?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Oo9IREJ9DaY/U8Gtf-azDKI/AAAAAAAABTw/UQyeRKUujmA/s1600/hand-brain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Oo9IREJ9DaY/U8Gtf-azDKI/AAAAAAAABTw/UQyeRKUujmA/s1600/hand-brain.jpg" height="320" width="316" /></a><span style="color: #9fc5e8;">It is a common myth that we only use 10% of our brains. We use our entire brains, just not all at once. Different parts of the brain serve different functions, and a small percentage of brain damage can be catastrophic. Perhaps we believe we only use such a small portion of our brains because of all of the things we miss on a daily basis. But it's really a matter of being conscious, aware, and in the moment. It takes greater concentration to see all the things we miss moment to moment. So what are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">How many sunrises and sunsets have each of us actually seen? When the scent of Jasmin permeates the air, do we take notice of the flower that is giving off the scent? What are we missing? Do we see the pain behind a smile? Can we hear the sadness in a laugh or feel the loneliness in a hug? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Do we notice the homeless on the streets anymore? Do we recognize when clothes, cars, houses, and other possessions are masks to hide an unhappy reality? What are we missing? Are we aware of how many beautiful spirits we have rejected for beautiful faces? Have we noticed the low self esteem behind the beautiful faces? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">When we fight, do we miss the pain or remorse wrapped in harsh words? When children act out/misbehave, can we hear the cry for love? What are we missing? If we meet those who are seemingly our polar opposites. do we take a moment to see our commonalities? Is the other side of the world so much different from our own? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Can we see the deception behind the facade of flattery and niceties? Can we feel the sincere caring in correction? What are we missing? Does the person dressed in name brand clothing driving a luxury vehicle have more integrity and decency than the one wearing hand me downs and taking the bus? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">When we read, do we form our own thoughts and opinions on the subject, or do we take the author's point of view? Do we read anymore? What are we missing? Do we listen to what is and isn't being said taking note of body language, tone of voice, and the source? Do we just hear words and let our own personal experiences be the judge? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Are we listening to our inner voices, the feeling in our guts? Are we listening to others' opinions instead of our own? What are we missing? Do we realize the miracles of being alive, making meaningful connections, the ability to change in every way? Are we taking the miracles around us for granted? What are we missing?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">What, indeed, are we missing? We use our entire brains, but we are usually unaware when certain parts of our brains are enacted because they are automatic. We often move through life the same way. 'How are you?' becomes merely a greeting, the answer 'I'm fine' becomes rote, and many often don't really listen to the answer, rather, they hear a response and move on to the next topic. Routine blocks out the beauty of nature or the tragedy of man, and belief systems handed down to us prevents open hearts, open thoughts, free choice, and free spirits. </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">Although the brain has parts we need not pay attention to, if we fail to take care of ourselves, we risk damaging the brain. We've become numb, almost robotic, and our vision both physical and spiritual has been tunneled leaving us heartless, apathetic, and unfulfilled. This life we are given has strings attached, and these strings are connections </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">to every living thing. When we fail to take care of these connections we risk damaging them. We use our entire brains. All we need to do is pay attention.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-15541974426694392592014-06-21T12:33:00.001-07:002014-06-21T12:33:17.746-07:00Move Like a Queen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: yellow;">I was inspired to do this post because whenever I check the stats on my posts, one has always been viewed each week. When I check the overall views for all of my posts, "Think Like a Queen" (</span><a href="http://therisingofaqueen.blogspot.com/2012/04/think-like-queen.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: lime;">read it here</span><span style="color: yellow;">)</span></a><span style="color: yellow;"> posted in April of 2012 has received far more views than the rest. This got me thinking, maybe this conversation isn't over yet.</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">Now I realize that search words led viewers to my blog, and I have no idea if my words had a positive impact on the readers. But the impetus for continuing this conversation is the fact that people are seeking to learn how queens think. I don't claim to be an expert, I am just relaying my experiences, both observed and lived, of what is recognized by others as queenly. </span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">I believe that a queen can be summed up as having words, thoughts, and actions that have emerged from a sole purpose: love. Nowadays, people have talked about 'showing love,' 'being love,' or 'having love' so much that it has become a concept of "new aged" thinking. But there's nothing new about love. It has been around longer than anything else. The universe has developed harmoniously and with perfection and respect for all life...and that's love. When a person has the intention to be kind, thoughtful, considerate, and respectful to all life, everything he/she does is loving. </span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">A queen will choose her words wisely and with the intent to strengthen, build up, uplift, guide, sooth, educate or correct. Her words, although they may sometimes chide, will be well meaning and with the purpose of creating harmony. She is careful to not only be kind, but precise in her meaning. She will be gentle but stern when needed, truthful yet positive, and her timing will be impeccable. </span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">She will be conscious of her emotions and not allow them to dictate her actions. She will, in fact, act purposefully rather than react rashly. Her movements are purposely made to help not hinder. She is cautious not to upset perfect balance, yet bold enough to bring order out of chaos. She knows the power of her femininity and shows restraint with it. The truth of who she is is always evident, yet she saves the mystery of what makes her unique for a select few. </span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">As trials come in every life, so a queen is not immune. Trials for a queen, however, become a step raising her closer to the heavens. She endures trials with quiet grace and burgeoning faith knowing that each wound, when healed, will leave behind tougher skin. A queen will always find a way to grow from trials and will readily share what she has learned so that others do not have to suffer the same fate.</span><br />
<span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">I've seen some of these qualities in myself, but more so in other women whom I admire. I admit, it is not easy to always think, act, and speak like a queen. But I have always believed that perfection is the act of striving for perfection. Intention is far more powerful than mindless habit. So practice makes perfect. These are just a few of my humble thoughts and observations. More love royal ones.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-80521965834536516052014-06-17T13:48:00.001-07:002014-06-18T01:44:26.367-07:00Lunchtime Reflections<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">I'm certain there's something going on in the cosmos that's inspiring these existential thoughts to be so at the forefront of my mind I have to take my lunch break to get it out. It occurs to me, quite often in fact, that all of the people we encounter in a single day, even the ones we think we know well, are really just mysterious creatures with a myriad of unseen facets.</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">We never really know what wheels are turning in a person's head, or what makes his or her heart ache or smile. We only know what people choose to let us know. I know that for me personally, there is no single person to whom I tell everything. In fact, there are things I know, think, feel, or have experienced that no one knows about. </span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">How, then, do we expect to really know someone? Well, we probably can't completely know someone. We are so conditioned by media or past experiences, to expect things/people to come in certain packages, so that when we see a package that we think is familiar, we put a label on it. We don't leave much room for people to reveal who they really are. Fear of judgement for either not looking as expected, or the pain of failure to be what is expected often causes us to conceal a huge part of who we really are.</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://ytimg.googleusercontent.com/vi/XyNtzK_2lcY/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/XyNtzK_2lcY&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/XyNtzK_2lcY&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><span style="color: #9fc5e8;">So we smile and pretend we're not hurting, or maybe we feign being angry rather than cry. We play dumb in situations where we know we have insight because it is better than being belittled. How many times have you said something to someone and they blew you off and someone else told them the same thing and it became gospel?</span><br />
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #9fc5e8;">This isn't some new revelation. I realize we are all aware that we don't know everything about each other. But, if we want to know each other better, we have to reveal ourselves to each other. That means trusting and making ourselves vulnerable, and it also means being open minded, empathetic, and non judgemental. At the very least, we should be kind. I'm just curious why if we know this, we don't treat each other more kindly, with more compassion? Why don't we check on each other? Why do we take our pain and anger out on others if we know they already must have their own? Why don't we lean on each other? Yeah, existential questions always seem to leave us asking why. But, my lunch break is over. Untill next time.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-37987109027850637342014-06-13T11:28:00.001-07:002014-06-13T11:28:50.498-07:00Commencement<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TDFDuvQCI74/U5tCT71bueI/AAAAAAAABQ4/6gL18BJ9ciE/s1600/Graduation_Cap_X_Small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TDFDuvQCI74/U5tCT71bueI/AAAAAAAABQ4/6gL18BJ9ciE/s1600/Graduation_Cap_X_Small.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: lime;">I love graduation season. People get to celebrate successfully completing all of their hard work. I particularly like it because it is one of the few times we formally recognize and celebrate the ending of one chapter in our lives as the beginning of another. I think we should have more ceremonies or rites like this, even if it just on a personal level to remind us that the end of one thing is also the beginning of another.</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: lime;">I'm not sure if younger graduates know that commencement means a starting or jumping off point. I think they are so happy to be finishing school (or that portion of school) that graduation for them is an ending. We should impart to them that like a video game (to use an analogy they may be familiar with), when you finish one level, you graduate to the next, and life is one continuous commencement.</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: lime;">As we move through life, there are many endings such as jobs, relationships, even to our selves. But as jobs and relationships end, often there are others to follow. Sometimes we experience a whole new way of living altogether if we retire or get married. As we learn and experience life, we grow and change, and after a time we may notice that we are no longer the same person we once were. </span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: lime;">We tend to forget, if we ever truly comprehended, the meaning and symbolism of graduation or commencement. When we graduate from school, it means we have learned lessons well enough to move on to the next stages of life. As adults, we actually have the advantage of learning our lessons after an experience is over. When we get fired from a job or a relationship ends, if we take time to reflect on the experience, we can learn what we did or didn't do that worked or didn't work and become conscious enough to carry those lessons into the next experience.</span><br />
<span style="color: lime;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: lime;">Endings are never the end. They are always the beginning of something new. Even when we leave this earth physically, what leave behind can be a starting point for those to come. We should always remember that life is one big school and we are always students graduating from one level to the next. We should celebrate so called endings as a commencement to the next phase in our lives. Congratulations to us all for matriculating in this life. Turn your tassels y'all!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-87223649137552732152014-05-31T15:29:00.000-07:002014-05-31T17:27:07.131-07:00Change is Inevitable, Adapting is Imperative<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">I've become diligent about looking for and taking note of
recurring themes around me. I find the universe to be very direct about the lessons
it's trying to teach me. I used to think the lessons were for others until I
began to see how these themes were present in my own life. Today's recurring
theme: rigidity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">Rigidity is defined in the dictionary as: </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">1.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">stiff or unyielding; not pliant or flexible; hard: <i>a rigid strip of metal.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;">2.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">firmly fixed or set.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;">3.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">inflexible, strict, or severe: <i>a rigid disciplinarian; rigid rules of social behavior.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;">4.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">exacting; thorough; rigorous: <i>a rigid examination.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: cyan;">5.</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: cyan;">so as to meet precise standards; stringent: <i>lenses ground to rigid specifications.</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: cyan;">In psychiatry and clinical psychology, it is an aspect of
personality characterized by a person's resistance to change. This is the
rigidity that I want to talk about. It is pervasive in society today, yet it
goes against basic human instinct.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">Charles Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the
species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one
that is the most adaptable to change.” We have seen this in biological
evolutionary sense with the development of "races." As humans
migrated traveling across ice bridges, they have adapted to their
environments as they spread across the world. For example, melanin in the
skin acts as a shield against ultraviolet light, however if it completely
blocked ultraviolet light, vitamin D would not be generated in the body. In
tropical areas, the sun is very strong and people have more melanin, in cooler
areas the sun is less strong and people have less melanin so sufficient vitamin
D is generated.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">Adapting to change, then, is not only human nature, but a
biological <i>and</i> psychological imperative. Yet, we remain rigid
in our thinking, beliefs, outlooks despite our environment and circumstances
screaming for adaptation. Fear, of course, is the cause of such rigidity. We
fear the unknown, we fear dissatisfaction, judgement, imbalance, disharmony,
and unhappiness. But if we take a look around at what the status quo has
brought us, we'll notice we're already in the midst of those things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">On a personal level, I've realized that striving for the
life I imagined as the possibilities move further and further away, I am being
rigid in the way I define happiness. Sometimes our purposes on this planet are
not reflected in our desires. But I'm recognizing that purpose is more
determined than desire. Our reasons for being here are always revealed in the
choices we make whether conscious or unconscious. We must pay attention to the
environments we find ourselves in, whether it be relationships, jobs, or actual
physical environments. Then we must ask ourselves, 'how can I adapt my way of
thinking, behaving, and seeing to best serve myself and others in this current
environment?'</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">When we are unable to see things and people in a different
light because we know what we know, like what we like and want what we want, we
are unable to learn new things and develop broader tastes. We become static and
cease to grow and adapt to the changing world around us. Life keeps moving and
change keeps happening. We can have, do, be everything our hearts desire.
Sometimes, however, what our hearts desire can no longer serve us in our
changing environments. For instance, if a woman has always desired children but
has yet to have them, there will come a time when her body changes her
circumstances and creates the need to adapt...or adopt as the case may
be. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: cyan;">Rigid thinking has rarely led to discoveries, breakthroughs,
miracles, or reconciliations. We must only be rigid in our discipline towards
growth. Our physical, mental, and spiritual survival depend on our abilities to
adapt to changes that will occur. As Chinese philosopher Xin Zi said, "<i>The
rigid cause themselves to be broken; the pliable cause themselves to be
bound." </i> </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-79136047025376100852014-05-25T11:21:00.000-07:002014-05-25T11:21:07.641-07:00Listen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">I rarely get too personal in this blog, but last night I had a dream that I know is about more than just me as I have seen and heard it happening all around me. So, I am going to share the relevant parts of this dream in hopes of reaching ones who need it...which I believe is everyone.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">I dreamed I was a little girl, maybe nine, at a school which seemed to go up to high school. I was very excited about everything that happened there; p.e. class, recess, and especially a talent show. Everything and everyone seemed to blow past me in a noisy frenzy. No one talked to me except for one teacher who took the time to answer every question, yet was always pulled away prematurely to deal with other children.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">I asked the teacher if I could be the stage manager for the talent show (apparently in my dream, I remembered I was a drama major in waking life) but he said I was too small, but that I should audition for the show. I was not at all dejected, but I could hardly think of what talent I could share. Then, I decided I would recite a poem I wrote called "A Wondrous World." (No, I haven't written such a poem in waking life...yet)</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">When I arrived at the audition, chaos overwhelmed the auditorium while a young girl was trying to sing her song. My teacher was busy trying to show a young man how to work the lighting board while students ran around, laughed and talked loudly. I took a seat behind some girls who seemed to be your stereotypical "mean girls" from some tween flick. They were all making fun of a girl and discouraging her from auditioning with her song saying she had no talent. These were her best friends.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">When the little girl on stage was finished performing, my teacher yelled out 'who's next?' I resolutely crumbled my poem up, shoved it into my pocket and marched up to the stage. In the midst of this chaos, I took the microphone and started belting out the song "Listen" from the movie<i> Dreamgirls</i>. Mind you, I'm almost certain I've only heard this song once, when I saw the movie years ago, but the lyrics bellowed out of me as if I was Beyonce herself. Suddenly, the room was quiet and still. All eyes and ears were on me. Once I was finished, there were no applause, just gaping mouths, and I walked away from the mic, and left all of my youthful enthusiasm on the stage.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/y4gimHC7fKs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><span style="color: #d9d2e9;">As I awaken, I recalled a conversation I had had the night before about listening. Most people don't do it. We hear the words, but we're often too busy waiting for our opportunity to respond to actually listen to what's being said. I remember in my discussion the idea of also listening to what's not being said. A conversation has many parts; speech, subtext, tone, body language. It's baffling to me how we can think that effectual conversations can take place via text, facebook, or twitter.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">I took special note to the fact that in my dream I was a small child. It was a direct correlation with my feelings that youth go unheard, and how I sometimes feel like a child who should be seen and not heard when people don't listen to me. Young people always tell us what they think, feel, and need, but because they haven't yet learned how to convey these things sufficiently, we only hear complaints, excuses, and rebellion.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">We are all children in the midst of chaos fighting to be heard. We are, however, also the chaos. We need to listen to each other and not just hear. I remember years ago how I used to <i>hear </i>music, the beat, the bass, the rhythm of the lyrics, but I wasn't actually listening to the words. Once I began to listen to the words, I became much more discerning about the type of music I listened to. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #d9d2e9;">So many times when a tragedy occurs, or even just disappointment, there were warnings to which we didn't listen.There is much that we can offer and receive from one another, but we need to listen. Don't dismiss someone because they are not speaking in a language you prefer or are used to. Do pause amidst the chaos and observe, pay attention. There is value in every word that is spoken or unspoken, even if we don't know what that value is at the time. Listen.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-82240948192248562492014-04-19T13:56:00.000-07:002014-04-19T13:56:37.178-07:00A Crown and a Sword<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #f1c232;">In all of my writings about my journey to the throne, I have neglected to speak about one of the most important characteristics of a queen. A queen must be a warrior. Yes, with the crown comes a sword. As Voltaire said, "With great power comes great responsibility." The necessity to don armor and hit the battlefield is not only to defend others, but to defend one's crown as well.</span><br />
<span style="color: #f1c232;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #f1c232;">The "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," as Shakespeare put it, are ever present as a queen ascends the throne. There are always obstacles and sometimes setbacks. But a queen must fight because the crown is her birthright. </span><br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S9_p-zedoIE/U1Lg1wCT09I/AAAAAAAABPg/6V5jf1jO5io/s1600/3984046778_18b52b57f3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-S9_p-zedoIE/U1Lg1wCT09I/AAAAAAAABPg/6V5jf1jO5io/s1600/3984046778_18b52b57f3.jpg" height="320" width="192" /></a><br />
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Women in this world are born into conflict. Our power is
either physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually (or all of these)
snuffed out or stifled from birth. As soon as we exit the womb, we are
bombarded with the beliefs and shackled with the restrictions of the world we
have entered. We are clad with pink, bows, ribbons, and lace to identify us as
delicate and fragile. 'Feminine' is given the connotation of 'weak.' But make
no mistake, females are born with the same warrior spirit, toughness, and fortitude
as males. The difference is that our feminine aspect provides us with different
tools with which to fight, and different reasons for which to fight.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Women must be the caretakers of the world. The children, the
planet, and all its creatures depend on the skills of the woman to both nurture
and protect them. We are the warriors for peace, equality, safety, wisdom,
knowledge and love. We also have personal battles to fight on a daily basis.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">The daily battle in which we as women must engage is the battle
to live freely, securely and at peace in our own skin on this earth. We must
have Teflon skin when we are judged by our physical appearance rather than our
mental and spiritual content. We must brandish a sword against belittling
words, thoughts and actions that would sour our spirits. We often must
physically defend our bodies against violence.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">Black women must double our efforts to protect our kingdom
(we are the kingdom) from the barrage of hate thrown at us not only because of
our gender but also because of our race. The belief system that was in place at
our births says that we are not beautiful, we are ignorant, aggressive,
materialistic, argumentative, oversexed, and less worthy of love and affection.
Many of us join in this belief and therefore denigrate ourselves even more in
the process. Some of us take arms against these beliefs often to no avail for
lack of support.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">All women can relate to the struggle to be seen as worthy
and powerful allies to men, yet only the black woman can comprehend or even
recognize their battle. We are stereotyped, mimicked, overlooked, ostracized,
degraded and misunderstood. Embedded in the psyche of society are not only the
beliefs about women, but those of the black race. Unfortunately, they are also
embedded in the black woman's psyche as well, thus making the battle even more
arduous.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #f1c232;">As queens, African, Native, Caucasian, Asian, Latina, and
Hispanic, we must be willing and ready for the battlefield. Whether we are
fighting for our children, our planet, our families or ourselves, we must
acknowledge that we are in the midst of war. Yes, there is a time to trade in
armor for silk and the sword for flowers. Part of our power is our femininity.
Most importantly, we must link arms and march together towards the enemies of
hate, greed, oppression and misogyny. These are our real enemies, not each
other, not ourselves. This, I have learned, is what a queen does.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-19382647758642086922014-02-09T11:02:00.001-08:002014-02-09T11:02:45.652-08:00We are the Ocean<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #76a5af;">In a reasoning with a dear friend the other day, he mentioned how individually we are all drops of water that collectively form the ocean and we are all the ocean. All of a sudden I was struck by a deeper realization and took the analogy further; like the ocean there is life inside and outside of us that affect <i>and </i>effect our behavior and appearance.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ar5owvpWS-E/UvfNvbKHkGI/AAAAAAAABMQ/NIaHkjL4eos/s1600/stock-photo-submerged-image-splitted-by-waterline-three-doplhins-swimmimng-underwater-under-dive-boat-120446047.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #76a5af;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ar5owvpWS-E/UvfNvbKHkGI/AAAAAAAABMQ/NIaHkjL4eos/s1600/stock-photo-submerged-image-splitted-by-waterline-three-doplhins-swimmimng-underwater-under-dive-boat-120446047.jpg" height="320" width="306" /></span></a><span style="color: #76a5af;">Allow me to explain further. We know that from bacteria to plankton to the blue whale, life in the ocean greatly affects life on land, yet we know very little about the ocean. At least 80% is yet to be explored. Ocean currents are a continuous directed flow of ocean water capable of traveling thousands of kilometers. Surface currents move water at the surface of the ocean, while submarine river currents flow deep below. The ocean's surface rises and falls predictably due to changes in gravitational forces originating from the Moon and the Sun. These changes in ocean surface level are known as tides and are evidence of the influence celestial bodies have on our planet.* </span><br />
<span style="color: #76a5af;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #76a5af;">In other words, there's a lot going on inside and outside of the ocean that affects/effects what we see, hear, and feel at the beach or on a boat. Sound familiar? Have you had days filled with emotional and environmental turmoil and yet all people see is that you're grumpy or mean? Perhaps if they delve deeper, they would find pain, confusion, frustration or a myriad of other 'submarine river currents' that would not be defined the same way as your surface behavior.</span><br />
<span style="color: #76a5af;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #76a5af;">We are often so quick to judge and often misunderstand others because we are unable to see the 'submarine river currents' or the 'lunar gravitational forces' that are affecting/effecting them. When we first engage others, we sometimes forget that they lived an entire life before we met them. We fail to consider that perhaps it will take a while, maybe even another lifetime to <i>really</i> know who they are. We also expect them to behave as we do with the assumption that our behavior is the best, forgetting, of course that the life inside and outside of them may be completely different than our own.</span><br />
<span style="color: #76a5af;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #76a5af;">As humans, we tend to live our lives based on our own perceptions which are formed by our own experiences and knowledge handed down to us. If we remember this when we engage with others, perhaps we will be more willing to be open to another's perceptions, experiences and knowledge if for no other reason than to better understand them. The ocean has been around since human beings appeared on earth, yet we have yet to explore 80% of it! Maybe like the ocean, we should dive deeper into others before we judge their tides.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 14px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">*<a href="http://marinebio.org/Oceans/index.asp" target="_blank">http://marinebio.org/Oceans/index.asp</a></span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-78536325224391638972014-01-19T12:36:00.000-08:002014-01-19T12:36:24.568-08:00“All warfare is based on deception.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">For clarity's sake, please allow me to define "queen" as I use it in this blog. I define a queen as a woman whose pride in herself and her heritage, her service to others, and her devotion to the upliftment of humanity make her appear as though she dons a crown on her head. It is a birthright of all women, but it is a title that must be earned, not one that is bequeathed. This blog is about my journey to the throne.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">I try to make it a daily practice to encourage others to rise above worldly behavior, to be better versions of themselves. Please forgive me if I've ever implied that this was an easy task. I know from experience that it is a daily battle....one which I don't always win. Yes, it is a battle, a war. It is a battle which "society" as a whole wages against us on a daily basis via media, the lure of material goods, and other false representations of happiness in order to gain control of our loyalty. Yes, that's what's at stake. Your loyalty ensures you'll buy their products, rhetoric, policies, lies, excuses and so on. But what do we get out of it?</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">As much as I fight against what society calls "the norm," I too fall prey to it's attack. The assault, after all, begins at birth, so some things require daily reprogramming. My job has a lot of windows that I must pass several times during a day. I always intentionally glance at my reflection to ensure all is well, and inevitably dislike what I see. I begin to criticize everything I see in my reflection. It wasn't until the other day that I realized that I was playing right into the hands of the enemy.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">I said to myself, 'how often have you told others to crush the so-called "standard of beauty" and look beyond the physical to find true beauty?' Yet here I am, every day, comparing myself to a standard that only 2% of the population can meet. (Yes, the beauty standard is another elitist scam perpetrated on the masses...and even they cheat!). I am so concerned with my outward appearance because I know that is how people judge me upon first impressions. But why do I care so much when I know that if people take time to really see <i>me</i>, they would find the beauty I have worked so hard to create inside me?</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">I have to admit that this is one battle that I have yet to find the right defensive and offensive strategy to win. I not only contend with the inculcation of the past, but also with the damaging words and experiences of the present. At some point, I have to take responsibility for my own involvement in the ravaging of my self perception. Honestly, I rarely, if ever, encounter women who look like Kate Moss, yet I meet many beautiful women all the time. Everyday I see posts on social networks of before pictures of a perfectly attractive woman, and the after picture of the same woman with muscles like men and bones protruding from their hips. Is that how I want to look? Certainly not.</span><br />
<span style="color: #ead1dc;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #ead1dc;">At some point we all have to realize that we have a choice about what we believe and to whom we give our loyalty. We must learn to ask ourselves if buying into "the norm" or going with the "status quo" truly benefits us more than being who we actually are and desire to be. What is really in it for us, and can we actually attain lasting happiness by attaining a lifestyle of luxury and striving for an impossible standard of beauty? The battle is continuous and we can only win it together. Let us be <i>conscious</i> of what is really important: kindness, caring, selflessness, honesty, and love.</span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09392804000851132103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6175530978211618951.post-12105056241572311502013-12-30T11:25:00.001-08:002013-12-30T11:28:15.493-08:00Lessons from Loss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This year began and ended with loss for me. I've been meditating on this loss for the past ten days trying to find a lesson, a nugget of wisdom, or some big picture perspective. Sitting next to the heater trying to warm my body, my heart was the first to melt and my "aha" moment came. I have not experienced loss, but an opportunity to acknowledge my gain.<br />
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Two very special people in my life have transitioned this year and I was devastated. When people pass, we often reflect on their lives and our time with them. It is in this reflection that I remember my blessings. The love, lessons, laughter, and memories that we shared have played a huge part in making me who I am today. I am thankful for that time and it will remain with me always.<br />
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What I have lost is regret for loving those who were unable to return that love. Each of them has brought something special to my life by being people who were lovable. Having regret for loving them puts conditions on love and turns it into something else...fear. We fear not being loved or not being able to love because a person is simply being who they are. We want to change them or give them rules for being part of our lives which really illuminates the fact that we don't actually love <i>them </i>we love who we wish they were<i>.</i><br />
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I have also lost the desire to stifle myself or my love simply because it makes others uncomfortable. Life is but a breath and we waste each breath we take when we try to be who others want or think we should be. We waste precious time when we dislike or disrespect ourselves because we do not look, act, think, or speak how others say is best. Likewise, I have no desire to put those judgments on others. What is best for me may not be best for you, and vice versa. I love openly and sometimes recklessly because love is unchained, immeasurable and free. Because of the way I love, I know my loved ones know I love them.<br />
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I no longer need to hold on to people who don't appreciate or want me in their lives because none of us needs to suffer. Keeping such people in my life is abusive to me and to them. I will free us both from punishment for whatever we subconsciously feel we need to be punished.<br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">Finally, I have lost my forgetfulness of the blessings I have in my life. There are many and they should get my focus, because although certain loved ones have moved forward and are no longer physically here, they have </span><span style="text-align: left;">remained in my mind, spirit and heart. So my meditation is no longer on loss, but on what I have gained from these beautiful souls. More love, more life.</span></div>
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