It's Hard, but It's Fair

"It's hard, but it's fair." That's something an ex of mine used to say. People would always get a little perturbed because they couldn't understand how something that was hard could also be fair. I admit I couldn't see it myself for a while, but years after we broke up, his meaning, at least what I gleaned from the statement, is becoming a little clearer. What's fair is not always easy, especially if fairness considers the greater good.

I think that sometimes in life, if we want what we think is fair, what we believe we deserve, we have to make some hard choices. Some things cannot exist in the same space. For example, if we want to be healthy, we may have to give up unhealthy habits such as junk food, smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. A healthy body often cannot exist in the same space as certain bad habits. In other words, sometimes in order to get what we desire, we have to get out of our own way.

If you desire something or some situation in your life, it may be necessary to make room for it. If we are unable or unwilling to do this, yet we still make supplications to the Universe or a higher power, the Universe/higher power will do it for us. We are creators, but I think we are more like the architects who come up with the design, how we envision our lives, but the Universe/higher power takes care of the building..how the design comes together. 

If in order to build our desires, we must first tear down some realities, the Universe/higher power will send us "memos" or signs to do so. But make no mistake, if we fail to comply, the builders will procede with demolition because they want us to have what we desire. This may mean dismantling relationships, jobs, living situations, etc. in order to replace them with what we have ordered. If you desire to be happy, perhaps the Universe/higher power knows that happiness and your current mate, friend, job, etc. cannot exist in the same space.

It's a little easier if we take heed to the memos and take to clearing a way on our own. The best ways I can think of to do this is to take stock of your life often and listen to your intuition. Here's some tips:

Reveiw your current relationships/friendships/situations

1. Are your relationships balanced?
    a. Are you giving more than you receive be it material things, emotionally, energy wise?
    b. Do you find yourself giving more chances than you get? Is forgiveness followed by changed behavior,          or are the offenses repeated?
2. Do you feel the same about the person, job, home, etc. as you did in the beginning?
     a. Are you staying because it is comfortable, safe, or familiar?
     b. Does the person or people involved feel the same about you?
     c. Are you drained or energized by your interactions?
3. Are you growing, becoming stagnant, or regressing?
     
When we envision the things or people that we believe will make us happy, we only have our own knowledge and experience to go on. But the Universe/higher power has EVERYTHING/EVERYONE to go on. The builders may know of materials that will better give us our desired outcome than what we ordered. 

Understanding this, I now understand the phrase "It's hard, but it's fair." Letting go of people, things, or situations can be hard, but it may be necessary in order to make room for what we truly desire..and that's fair, isn't it?

My Gift

Your live is the Most High's gift to you. What you choose to do with it is your gift to the Most High

It's been a while since I've posted here and that's because I've been busy with a project that is very close to my heart. I have created an online magazine called "Conscious Comments."   A while back, I spoke of wanting to do something great for the world. I wasn't really sure what that would be. I don't have obvious talents like singing, Nobel prize genius, or even Solomonic wisdom. Then one day I thought to myself 'I know a lot of people who would live a more conscious life if they knew how simple it can be, and how little sacrifice it would take'

Many of you may have heard of the concept of "Meatless Mondays" or recycling, or "upcycling" and meditation and all of these wonderfully conscious acts. But what does it all mean, really? What if you had a place you could go to in one click to find a simple, tasty meatless recipe?  Maybe you've always wanted to meditate but didn't know how? Perhaps, you simply want to see how people around the world do these things.

I've called upon some of my most conscious brothers and sisters to bring some of these ideas and much more together in one place. Well, I'm not a musician, I haven't created an innovative life saving or energy saving device, and I may not even be able to impart any sage advice. But what I am good at, is recognizing these things in others, or finding those who have these talents and persuading them to share their gifts and knowledge.

I've gathered some wonderful souls together to share with you what they know. Reggae artist Rocker-T, a very talented, spiritually and socially conscious being is writing enlightened Guest Editorials. My brothers and sisters are all knowledgeable in the areas of healthy living, the environment, music, and the joy of life(Joie de Vivre) which are all  categories included in the magazine. My talent? To point out the light of the suns around me. I'm just one of the moons reflecting their brilliance. Please check out Conscious Comments below. Love, light, and Consciousness

Save this link----> http://www.joomag.com/magazine/conscious-comments/M0109693001347912898 for future issues

Right Wing, Left Wing...It Takes Both Wings to Fly

I am not one who is interested in engaging in politics, so please do not mistake this post to be about politics. In fact, it is an anti-politics post. I understand the need to know what your government is up to and who the players are, but knowing is not enough. When we find flaws, that something is broken or someone is corrupt, we must take action, and complaining about it alone is not effective action.


In the United States on November 19, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address (a two minute speech given by the President at the Gettysburg National Cemetery dedication four months after the Battle of Gettysburg). At the end of the speech, he described the U.S. government as "a government for the people, of the people, and by the people."  Earlier in the speech he said, "The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here." 


 In his eulogy for the slain president, Senator Charles Sumner commented on that line of the president's speech, "The world noted at once what he said, and will never cease to remember it. The battle itself was less important than the speech."  If the Senator was here today, I think he would have to recant and acknowledge that the president was right.

I know many put little stock and/or trust in the words of those who run or even created the government. These words, their own words, however, can be used as fuel for the fire of freedom, justice, and equality. The preamble to U.S. Constitution begins "We the people." It's time we hold them to these words. We often complain about those who run the country, but we neglect to include ourselves. We have forgotten our own power...a power that goes far beyond voting.

I recently read a comment on a social networking site on a post about the occupy movements that read, "protesting doesn't work anymore."  What struck me is the puzzling contradiction of the article I had read just minutes before about how the government (White House level) ordered the dismantling of the occupations read article here. This suggested, to me at least, that the occupations were becoming a big enough concern that the executive branch of the U.S. government became involved. I wondered if those who think the occupations wouldn't work might have been too occupied with other things to see the world wide solidarity and attention they had garnered.

It seems that so many are so focused on political parties and left and right wings that "we the people"  are divided. Most discussions I see are about the pros and cons of each side and people become defined and condemned by that affiliation rather than defined by what they think, do, or desire for the world. Those that think that protesting doesn't work anymore should consider one fact; there were occupiers from all walks of life and political parties united for equal rights and justice...the real issues. 

I am solution oriented, so complaining without action or disparaging the methods of those who are acting rather than offering a viable alternative is fruitless to me. It is time we remember that the government works for us. We elect them, we should hold them accountable and fire them if they don't do their jobs properly. It will, however, take all of us collectively to do so. Left wing, right wing...it takes both wings to fly.

The Mean Girl/Bad Boy Attraction

Today I heard a song called "Some Kind of Woman" by Rocker T, that really got me thinking about what men and women look for in relationships.This is a bluesy/country/folksy reggae song (I love fusion style music) in which Rocker T asks "how does a mean hearted woman find such a kind hearted man?" but continues, "You know I work so hard just to keep you satisfied." Now I'll admit, at first this song caused an old question that always brought confusion and dismay to resurface in my mind.  I've always wondered why "kind hearted" men chose "mean hearted" women, and vice versa. But I listened to the song several times and I realized that in part of the chorus he sings, "you must be some kind of woman, I've got to keep you by my side." I thought, she must be, and this must work for some people.

I, personally, like a kind hearted man, but I'm not a mean hearted woman. The real question that arose for me, and always has, is do I have to pretend to be mean in order to attract a kind hearted man, and could that even be sustained? I could be mean, trust me, but it would eat me up inside very quickly to be that way towards someone I care about. I certainly couldn't stay with a mean hearted man for any length of time. I suppose, however, it is not always the case that these different types of people connect, but it clearly happens.

As I pondered what would make a "kind hearted man" (or woman) go out of his/her way to keep a "mean hearted woman" (or man), I quickly dismissed the love is blind theory.  He's not blind to her mean heart, he overlooks it. Perhaps he holds on to the good in her? Once upon a time, I figured these types of women must have a magical (read sexual) hold on these men...maybe they had talents in the bedroom? Maybe they create balance within the relationship, providing something the kind hearted mate lacked or needed. I'm not here to judge or provide definitive answers, but to create dialogue and gain understanding...so feel free to comment.

Different people have different definitions of "mean."  Perhaps a woman is hard to get and even harder to keep and that provides the challenge that a man likes. Maybe what others might observe as "bitchy" or "overbearing" another might experience as encouragement and guidance. Strong independent women often get labeled as mean, even in a world that requires them to be strong and independent. A lot of women like the "bad boy" persona, and some men like the "bad girl" persona. I guess what I've come to realize is that we always have choices, all of us. 

There must be something about that type of relationship that is fulfilling for some. They say opposites attract. I've had friends with "mean" mates, and I've never asked them what the attraction was...so I'm asking you. Do you have a mean hearted woman/man? If so, what makes you work to keep them by your side? I love music that makes me think. Give thanks Rocker T. Peace and blessings.