The Journey

I often don't like to post a blog unless I have solutions to the questions I ask. But more and more I am beginning to realize that it's not always the answers that provide more direction, rather the questions themselves illuminate the pathway. It's not the destination that's important, but the journey.

Statistics have shown that many people change careers between seven and fifteen times in a lifetime. Men and women usually have numerous relationships throughout life. There are many phases to a life because our desires, needs, likes, circumstances, knowledge change as time moves. Change is constant and inevitable. The challenge comes when trying to navigate the changes inside and around us.

Sometimes life's changes don't create the life we dreamed of or desired. So what do we do then? Of course some will say that we can have whatever life we desire, we just have to create it. But it takes nine months to create a baby, so creating a desired life or lifestyle will take time too. So how do we maneuver during this time in a way that is productive. What if we aren't quite sure what we want to create?

Uncertainty is a prickly fact of life. To be honest, the unknown has always been an enemy of mine. Perhaps this is the reason why I put so much energy into strengthening my faith. I know my Father The Mighty King is guiding me through a path that He feels is best for me. I can trace the route that lead me to where I am at this moment back many years. But not seeing what's around the bend is nerve wracking...sometimes terrifying! No, I never imagined the life I am currently living, and there are certain aspects of it that I would change.

I am not implying that I don't like the way my life has turned out. I am trying to figure out how to live a life I didn't expect with the greatest joy, love, acceptance, and productivity that I can muster. Rolling with change takes work. Knowing yourself helps. What are your strengths? I am hopeful (even when I can't be positive), I am generous (though I don't have many possessions) I am a good communicator (yet sometimes at a loss for words) and I am forgiving (had to work very hard on that one).

How do these strengths help me navigate the uncertain waters of life? I am still figuring that one out. I like who I am, who I have worked hard to become, even though my life looks nothing like I dreamed it would be. I am now faced with the challenge of travelling  the next leg of this journey blindfolded. I know, however, that my Guide would never lead me astray. Safe journey fellow travelers.

The Rising of a Queen: Year One

Today marks one year since I took my first step in my journey towards the throne and moved 400 miles north of family and friends. I am, therefore, in a reflective mood. A friend told me I "bare my soul" well in this blog. It's funny, that wasn't my intention, but a blog about this journey of mine is bound to be revealing. So  this question comes to mind; what have I learned and/or accomplished this past year? Hmmm, well a lot has certainly transpired, both good, and not as good. I think I can certainly say the good outweighs the not so good. But have I learned anything? Have I gotten any closer to the throne? This past year has definitely been a roller coaster ride, many ups and downs, highs and lows. I've learned that the lows weren't that low, and the highs, well they were pretty high.

During the coldest and wettest winter of my life, I was without a car or the finances to get one, then one was given to me. Many of the people I've come in contact with haven't been very friendly, and I don't really fit in in my new neighborhood. I haven't made many friends that I can spend time with, but one friend I made enabled me to meet and spend time with some very lovely and friendly people who just happen to be my favorite band. That experience alone has made this move worth it. Although I have spent a great deal of time alone, it has meant plenty of time to pick my writing back up. I'm not sure if I've gotten any better at it, but the inspiration is definitely there. Things seem to always balance out. I guess one lesson is that when life doesn't seem to be going your way, be patient and have faith that life is happening that way for a reason; to make way for something even better.

Preparations for the throne include self evaluation and improvement, adjustment of my attitude and outlook, paying attention to that voice inside of me, the voice of my Father the Mighty King, increasing my faith, positivity, confidence, and knowledge, and knowing myself. I have overcome fears, recognized weaknesses, and gotten closer to my Father. I still have many miles to travel, but now that He knows I am serious, my Father has revealed a great deal more of the path to me that I am to follow. If we pay attention to what's going on around us in nature, with other people, society, our heads and hearts, we can see and hear what the universe or Higher Power is trying to tell us. I've learned that not everyone will be able to see what I see, or understand it, and some may call me crazy, so I keep much of it to myself.

In this year, I've noticed many changes in myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. I don't know if it's age, the different environment, or could I be getting wiser? Maybe it's all of those. I'm a seeker of wisdom. I never feel wise so I always look for answers as well as questions. I like to surround myself with people who are more intelligent about the things I need to learn more about. Everyone has something they can teach us. I learned that from working with youth. They get a bum rap. People dismiss them because of their age, but with age does not necessarily come wisdom. Some wisdom leaves us as we age. We get wrapped up in worldly meaningless pursuits and forget the keys to happiness that were given to us at birth. Age doesn't bring wisdom, we have to seek it, continually. The first place to start is within ourselves.

Everything we need to be happy, to succeed, to make a beautiful life is inside of us already. We create the reality in which we live. I used to think that some people make life happen while others let life happen to them. The truth is, we make the life we live with all the things we do, say, and think, as well as all we don't do, say, or think. Now this is a lesson a few people have tried to teach me a while ago, but I was not in the right place mentally, spiritually, and physically to understand it. So in that respect, this move was not only a good decision, but a necessary one. There are goals, hopes, and dreams that I have neglected that will now receive my full attention because I am now aware that I can bring them to fruition without waiting for the "right" time, people, or circumstances. The time is now, I am the person, and circumstances are inconsequential. I give thanks to the few of you who have been following this blog. I do bare my soul a bit in it and your interest is honored. I wish you Love and Light.

Reflections

Lately, I have been reflecting on my experiences and what, if anything I have learned. Since this is a blog about my journey to the throne, or my growth, I thought I needed to get back to this meditation. It is the journey that is important, of course, not the destination. Dictionary.com has an etymology of the word destination as "Modern sense (1787) is from place of destination, where one is "destined" to go," so I know I will get there. But how I get there will determine the longevity of my stay.

I have learned not to get too upset or sad when things don't go the way I'd hoped because they happen that way for a reason. I've also learned not to get too happy when things go the way I would like in order to have balance. Since I began to put real effort into this journey, life has thrown me some curve balls. But just like a batter, I have to learn to hit them because it is part of life's arsenal of pitches, much like a pitcher in baseball. (Forgive the sports analogy). Curves are just different directions, not necessarily bad ones. I have found that these new directions are often necessary in order to get on the right path and bring even more enlightenment and joy. It is not easy wearing this crown, as it can get quite heavy with every jewel placed in it. The jewels are the growth and blessings I receive.

I have lost some friends in the past few months, but  I have gained one who has proven to be worth all of those times ten! In fact, I would say I've gained another family member. Some people see things in us most others are not able to see. I'm of the opinion that people see in others things which they themselves possess which may be good or in need of change. My new brother has shown me more love in one day than some people have shown me in a lifetime. All he did was treat me with honor and respect. Yes, that's really all one needs to do to show love to another. I hope I have shown him as much honor and respect as he has shown me because I would love for him to feel the joy I have felt. Much love to you STAR.

I have learned some things about myself recently. I have learned that I am who my Father the Mighty King has made me, and that is good. Again, not everyone can see the blessings I have to offer, but some do, and will. I just need to make sure I see, accept, and honor these qualities in myself as well. I recently went through a great deal of anxiety over wanting to be liked and accepted in many areas in my life, until I just told myself, 'I am being the best me I can be at this moment in time' and let my Father take care of the rest. The real lesson, something it took me until now to figure out: Accepting and loving yourself =CONFIDENCE. This doesn't mean I've conquered all of my fears, but I'm on my way. Currently, I'm crushing on someone whom I see as "out of my league." This only tells me I have a little ways to go towards total self acceptance/confidence. Will I pursue it? Let him know? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Like I said, it's the journey, and this step is about building my confidence.

Writing and sharing this journal and my poetry blog (shamelessplug: http://crowningwrites.blogspot.com/) is a huge step for me. Up until a few months ago, I very rarely shared my writing. Now I plug it every chance I can get, knowing that not everyone will like everything I write, and that's ok. I've got to pat myself on the back for that one. Meanwhile, I am riding a joy wave as big as a tsunami and so I must give continual thanks and praises to the Most High, my Father the Mighty King, for the blessings. I had to take time to reflect on my progress, and despite what those on the outside looking in might think, I have made some good tracks. I pray for a safe journey for all of you trodding to the throne as well. Love and light.