Love

Some people are very fortunate to find another with whom to share their love, life, time, thoughts, space, and hearts. A small percentage of these people actually recognize the miracle that has occurred. It seems difficult to find others who vibrate on or near the same frequency as ours, but usually, we create those difficulties ourselves.

Others are still searching the far corners of the earth, often with something or someone specific in mind who will fulfill their hearts' desires and make them feel whole. Truth is, there is love all around us all the time, and we were born whole. What is it that keeps us searching for what is right in front of us? I've often thought that the media plays a large part in blinding us from real love. But with further thought, I recognize that these distractions have been around longer than technology. 

If we take a look at fairy tales, poetry, and plays like Shakespeare's, we can see the fantasy of the perfect mate showing up setting off fireworks while riding in on a white horse has been around for ages. There was a time when we chose a mate for his ability to hunt and protect or her ability to bear children and make a home. It seemed that the assumption was that if we took care of each other, that was love. I don't want to generalize and stereotype the different things men and women seem to be looking for in a mate, but I will say that we waste a lot of time in the search.

I've pondered for a long time whether or not everyone is meant to be paired up. After all, not everyone made the journey on the ark. In contemplating a life un-mated, I've learned not only how to love without expecting love in return, but also how to see love in all the different faces I encounter on my journey. To some, this may sound depressing or negative, but I find it freeing...most times.  When one is able to just love, that love grows inside you and happiness blossoms. Those blooms are noticeable and draws people into you.

I can see small acts of love that others take for granted, and I can feel huge waves of love that some try to hide. When you choose to simply love, love reveals itself to you in all its different disguises as though you've won a game of hide and seek. You are never without love, and therefore never have to seek it. For those of you looking for love, it's right in front of you. For those of you who have found love...don't lose it. Love and light.

Queen in Retrograde

I woke up in a fantastic mood this morning. I was refreshed. I had a stimulating conversation with a co-worker before I started work, and I finally dressed in the right combination of layers for the transition from early morning freeze to afternoon Indian Summer. But around 9:25, old Merc started moving backwards...and took me with him! All day today, I had to restart projects I have been working on for the past week. I seemed to be in high demand from everyone, and there was, of course, the daily afternoon extremely amateur metal concert.

But I did not lose hope. I played my uplifting music and I decided to deploy one of my secret emergency weapons. I knew if I could ingest some form of hot, salty, fried potato product, I could make it through the day. An angel volunteered to fetch some for me and the anticipation of sweet (salty) relief washed over me. The day looked brighter as I saw her return with bags in her hands. But then she uttered words that sounded like a foreign language to me, "they were all out." That's when I knew. I didn't even have to do an internet search. Mercury is in retrograde. 

RETROGRADE: Moving backward; having a backward motion or direction; retiring or retreating.
2. inverse or reversed, as order.
Astronomy
a.
moving in an orbit in the direction opposite to that of the earth in its revolution around the sun.
b.
appearing to move on the celestial sphere in the direction opposite to the natural order of the signs of the zodiac, or from east to west.

I had to look up retrograde to see exactly what was happening to me today. I don't claim to understand all of the astrology aspects of the word, but once someone told me that all of the things that were out of wack some days were a result of Mercury being in retrograde, every time I have a day like today I assume that is the cause (today I guessed correctly). 

It doesn't seem to matter if I know it's coming or not, or if I have explicit details as to what it means. I always feel powerless against it and just settle in for the ride. Apparently, the retrograde being in Scorpio means diving inward to discover my "dark side" and hidden secrets. But I don't even have the strength to deal with all of that. So I just kept moving backwards in order to move forward. I'm a forward ever backward never kind of queen, so this was very uncomfortable for me. But as I learned today, sometimes the universe has its own way of telling you to do a better job.

I pulled out my tried and true weapon, a much healthier choice, brother Bob. I played Bob Marley's Three Little Birds three times back to back and then just listened to a Bob Marley medley for the rest of the day. I reached out to a friend who ALWAYS makes me smile, and I did. On the way home, I stopped by the grocery store and found a vegan gluten free dark chocolate cookie (more like a brownie) and it was AWEsooommmme! So retrograde that Mercury! A hot shower, a cup of tea, and a new start tomorrow. I give thanks. Forward ever. Blessings.

Disconnected

Recently, I had problems with my Internet connection for several days. It turns out there was a "leak in the signal" which was causing intermittent disruptions in the connection.  I found this amusing as I thought the Internet has been causing intermittent disruptions in my personal connections for a while. A woman once told me that my tarot card was "the lovers" which meant I place value on relationships with others for success and happiness. I don't give much credence to tarot, but she was a bit on the money with this analysis.

I've always believed that how we relate to one another will determine our mutual success and happiness. We are connected at the very least in a "butterfly effect" kind of way. The ego, being so powerful, masks this connection and causes solitary behavior, thus shrinking the meaning and possibilities of our existence. Technology only throws another monkey wrench into the situation.

Friendships are now defined by "likes," "follows," "tags," and "@ mentions." The amount of effort needed to maintain a "friendship" is now down to a mouse click, yet those mouse clicks carry more value than actual face time. Have you ever smiled or gotten excited when certain people like your status/picture? Has an @mention ever made you feel closer to someone....even someone you've never met? Social media now determines how "connected" we are to each other. A few times I have called some friends on the phone and they didn't answer. I left messages for them on facebook and they immediately replied. Perhaps to them, replying on facebook so quickly was proof that they are my true friends....so was I not supposed to be offended that they didn't answer my call?

Now I know that some people say that "smart phone" technology enables them to connect immediately via social networking when they are too busy to answer calls or meet for coffee. But is it enabling them to connect in this manner or causing a need to connect this way? I mean, why are we busier now than we were before "smart phones" or facebook, or twitter? What did we do prior to cell phones?

I remember a time when I would spend hours on the phone or in person chatting to friends when I was distraught over a break up, losing a loved one, being laid off, or some other crisis. Now if I need consoling, I have to share my news with 387 of my "closest friends" just to get a "like" or heart emoticon.  I have a collection of cards and letters from friends for my birthday or when they were abroad....none recently. I remember spending hours with friends cooking a meal together, eating, drinking, laughing, sometimes crying. Those days seem to be gone. I'm not blameless in this. I too have acquiesced to today's way of connecting. It has, however, left me feeling lonely and longing for simpler tech-free times. 

Studies have shown that hugs, having someone to count on, and time spent outdoors and with loved ones raises ones' life expectancy and overall happiness. How are we getting this done online? Our expectations from relationships have been lowered, but have our needs? How do we really know how our loved ones are doing? Does a picture from a party tell us they are happy and healthy? Is a "like" sufficient support for our friends? In times of crisis, will any of your online friends go beyond a comment or philosophical meme to help? Will they even know you are in crisis? I say there is a "leak in the signal" causing intermittent disruption in our connections. We need to consciously power down our gadgets and get in each others faces. Connections made in person have staying power. Connections made online only stay when there is power. Peace and blessings.

Conscious Comments

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Don't Miss the Boat!

Lately I've been thinking about a joke I once heard. It's about a man in the ocean who was drowning and a couple of fisherman in a small boat happened by. The fisherman said to the man, "give us your hands we'll pull you in." The man replied, "No, that's ok, God will save me." A few minutes later, a yacht came near the man and threw a life ring in the water yelling, " take the ring, we'll pull you aboard." Still, the man refused saying, "Don't worry, my Father in heaven will rescue me." After another while, the man really began to struggle to stay afloat when a cruise ship came up to him. They threw him a life boat and shouted, "get in and row towards the ship and we'll save you." Once again the man replied, "No thank you, I have faith that God Almighty will save me!" As the cruise ship sailed away, the man's struggle became too much for him and he drowned. Once he got to heaven he met his maker and asked, "God, I had so much faith that you would save me! Why did you let me drown?" God replied, "I sent you three boats!" I guess it's more of an allegory really.

How many times have you missed the boat because "salvation" didn't appear the way you imagined? External influences and indoctrination cause us to formulate ideals and expectations of how our desires will manifest. God, The Great Spirit, the universe, fate, or whatever you call the higher energy that seems to move throughout our world gives us ample  blessings, opportunities, and chances to fulfill our needs and desires, but we are often blind to them because they don't appear the way we expect.

I'm learning that the best thing to do is to eliminate expectations altogether. Once we open our minds and hearts to all possibilities, we are then able to let go of ideals that keep us from seeing what's right in front of us. Media seems to influence most areas of our lives. We are told what beauty is, what love and success looks like, and even what will make us happy. All of these things are subjective and will therefore look different for different people. Once we stop allowing outside influences to dictate how we think, feel, and behave, then we let go of expectation.

Now this doesn't mean that one should not have hope or be optimistic. Though hope and optimism both involve expectation, one is not attached to the outcome. When we are hopeful or optimistic about a situation's outcome, we essentially "willing" the best to happen rather than looking for the best to appear as we imagine. For example, if the drowning man was "hopeful" and "optimistic" about God saving him, he would have recognized the boats as being his salvation. Instead, the man must have had "expectations" of a giant hand reaching from the sky and snatching him up out of the water.

Be hopeful and optimistic that the best will happen for you. Let go of your preconceived notions of what "the best" is and you will be able to recognize it when it comes. Miracles happen around us everyday...don't miss the boat! Peace and blessings.

Truth Is...

In the end, it all goes back to the beginning. I'm learning from my journey to the throne that life interferes with truth starting from birth. We are all born with all of the knowledge we need to be healthy, happy, accomplished beings. As soon as we are born, however, we are being taught to adopt as truth what those who came before us have adopted as truth. I used to think that at a certain point in our infancy we forget what we already knew. I'm now starting to wonder if dependency on our caregivers creates in us a need to acquiesce in order to survive. If this is true, what happens to us, then, once we are able to care for ourselves? Why do we not return to the knowledge with which we are born? At some point, I surmise, we abandon it, and if we ever choose to denounce what we have always been told and seek the truth within, it becomes an uphill battle.

Most animals know instinctively what must be done for survival. Birds are pushed out of a nest and automatically fly; four legged animals stand and walk from the moment they exit the womb; and mothers of these animals have no need for birthing or parenting classes. Humans pass this information and these lessons on to their offspring which ensures and makes survival of the species easier and more efficient. Other lessons, however, can become detrimental to the mental, emotional and spiritual survival of humans.

We are not just taught how to walk, talk, read, or write. We are taught how and what to think, behave, and believe. We are taught right and wrong. These are the lessons that are subject to interpretation. We are all one, all connected, the same on a basic molecular level. Our purposes and functions as part of a collective, however, differ on many levels. Think of humanity as a machine and each human as a different part of the machine. Each part has a particular function in order to work in harmony with the other parts making the machine functional and useful. Each part/person, then must have specific behaviors, shapes, processes, etc. So although we are one, we are different and for reasons.

These differences enable us to contribute to this machine called society in unique ways which can benefit the collective. Why then, and how, are we so determined to have everyone think, behave, look, believe the same way? We are told what happiness, beauty, love, success, and even God should look like, and we reject anyone or anything that suggests otherwise. We do this to the point of ignoring our own feelings, instincts, intuition and experiences.

When we have seen or experienced happiness without fancy cars, expensive clothes, or flashy jewelry, what is it that compels us to believe we are not or can not be happy without them? If we feel love for someone who is different than what we have been told is lovable or attractive, why do we run from that love? We have become a society reliant upon acceptance in order to be happy. I am not immune to this. I too have consciously and unconsciously done what I thought was expected of me, believed what I was told about myself (both good and bad) and allowed myself to be defined by the collective.

We intrinsically have an inner truth that may only be true for ourselves and our function within the machine. Whether we are aware of it or not, we go through a constant inner battle between the truth we are born with and the truth that is indoctrinated in us throughout our lives. The indoctrinated truth causes wanting because it is not our truth. This wanting causes us to suffer when we can not manage to live a truth that is not meant for us. If we are aware of this battle, we seek our own truth, and in the end, it all goes back to the beginning.

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