Cause and Effect...Make the Connections

It's puzzling to me how many people fail to see that everything is connected.  Causality, or cause and effect, alone connects people, actions, events. If someone at your job is fired, it will no doubt effect the way you work if new policy and procedure need to be put in place; how much you work if the terminated employee's work needs to be covered; or maybe just your lunch companion changes.

In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is a term used to describe how small changes to a seemingly unrelated thing or condition (also known as an initial condition) can affect large, complex systems.*  These connections are also recognized outside science, in an area many think is oppositional, spirituality. In Hindu philosophy, the law of cause and effect is integral. it's called Karma.

So it frustrates me when some people fail to see the connections between two or more events. I realize that many people compartmentalize their lives. They find ways to continue to be entertained, to consume, and to enjoy the "pleasures" of life, all the while separating them from the ugly, unjust, inhumane, and uncomfortable people or events to which they are bound. Somehow, people rationalize this separation saying that what a person/organization/institution said or did (or didn't) has nothing to do with the product they are selling. (I'm sure Indiana hopes more people would think this way...I know some food companies who support gmos do.)

Another example, Duke just won the NCAA championship and many people were rooting for them and cheering them on. No one on my social media feed even mentioned that four days ago, a noose was found hanging from a tree on Duke's campus. Sure, the student who hung the noose was identified and expelled, but this is not the first racist incident on an American university campus in recent weeks.

So, what does this have to do with people cheering on Duke in the championship? Of course you should root for the young people who worked hard for that achievement. You should also remember that those same youth, some of whom are African American, are students on that campus. Usually, where there is one roach, there are others. So, these students have to return to a campus to study with other students who may be harboring the same racist ideologies. But, people have rationalized that the problem is solved with the expulsion of the student. Why is no one calling for ,manditory racial sensitivity (at the very least) courses to be taught at universities across the country? I mean, those places are set up for education, how hard could it be to make it happen? Doing nothing can have as large an effect as doing something.

It occurred to me that when some people compartmentalize life in this way, it is easy for them because they have never experienced the pain or humiliation, of racism, sexism, or homophobia. There are those who, although they recognize these things are wrong and they would never condon or participate in them, it is difficult for them to empathize and have enough compassion to stand up and speak up against them because they have never experienced these things, and probably never will.

But Haile Selassie said, "Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph." Failing to make the connections keeps you silent. Silence condons the acts. Evil triumphs in the absence of condemnation.

*http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-butterfly-effect.htm

What are we missing?

It is a common myth that we only use 10% of our brains. We use our entire brains, just not all at once. Different parts of the brain serve different functions, and a small percentage of brain damage can be catastrophic.  Perhaps we believe we only use such a small portion of our brains because of all of the things we miss on a daily basis. But it's really a matter of being conscious, aware, and in the moment. It takes greater concentration to see all the things we miss moment to moment. So what are we missing?

How many sunrises and sunsets have each of us actually seen? When the scent of Jasmin permeates the air, do we take notice of the flower that is giving off the scent? What are we missing? Do we see the pain behind a smile? Can we hear the sadness in a laugh or feel the loneliness in a hug? What are we missing?

Do we notice the homeless on the streets anymore? Do we recognize when clothes, cars, houses, and other possessions are masks to hide an unhappy reality? What are we missing? Are we aware of how many beautiful spirits we have rejected for beautiful faces? Have we noticed the low self esteem behind the beautiful faces? What are we missing?

When we fight, do we miss the pain or remorse wrapped in harsh words? When children act out/misbehave, can we hear the cry for love? What are we missing? If we meet those who are seemingly our polar opposites. do we take a moment to see our commonalities? Is the other side of the world so much different from our own? What are we missing?

Can we see the deception behind the facade of flattery and niceties? Can we feel the sincere caring in correction? What are we missing? Does the person dressed in name brand clothing driving a luxury vehicle have more integrity and decency than the one wearing hand me downs and taking the bus? What are we missing?

When we read, do we form our own thoughts and opinions on the subject, or do we take the author's point of view? Do we read anymore? What are we missing? Do we listen to what is and isn't being said taking note of body language, tone of voice, and the source? Do we just hear words and let our own personal experiences be the judge? What are we missing?

Are we listening to our inner voices, the feeling in our guts? Are we listening to others' opinions instead of our own? What are we missing? Do we realize the miracles of being alive, making meaningful connections, the ability to change in every way? Are we taking the miracles around us for granted? What are we missing?

What, indeed, are we missing? We use our entire brains, but we are usually unaware when certain parts of our brains are enacted because they are automatic. We often move through life the same way. 'How are you?' becomes merely a greeting, the answer 'I'm fine' becomes rote, and many often don't really listen to the answer, rather, they hear a response and move on to the next topic. Routine blocks out the beauty of nature or the tragedy of man, and belief systems handed down to us prevents open hearts, open thoughts, free choice, and free spirits. 

Although the brain has parts we need not pay attention to, if we fail to take care of ourselves, we risk damaging the brain. We've become numb, almost robotic, and our vision both physical and spiritual has been tunneled leaving us heartless, apathetic, and unfulfilled. This life we are given has strings attached, and these strings are connections
to every living thing.  When we fail to take care of these connections we risk damaging them. We use our entire brains. All we need to do is pay attention.

Disconnected

Recently, I had problems with my Internet connection for several days. It turns out there was a "leak in the signal" which was causing intermittent disruptions in the connection.  I found this amusing as I thought the Internet has been causing intermittent disruptions in my personal connections for a while. A woman once told me that my tarot card was "the lovers" which meant I place value on relationships with others for success and happiness. I don't give much credence to tarot, but she was a bit on the money with this analysis.

I've always believed that how we relate to one another will determine our mutual success and happiness. We are connected at the very least in a "butterfly effect" kind of way. The ego, being so powerful, masks this connection and causes solitary behavior, thus shrinking the meaning and possibilities of our existence. Technology only throws another monkey wrench into the situation.

Friendships are now defined by "likes," "follows," "tags," and "@ mentions." The amount of effort needed to maintain a "friendship" is now down to a mouse click, yet those mouse clicks carry more value than actual face time. Have you ever smiled or gotten excited when certain people like your status/picture? Has an @mention ever made you feel closer to someone....even someone you've never met? Social media now determines how "connected" we are to each other. A few times I have called some friends on the phone and they didn't answer. I left messages for them on facebook and they immediately replied. Perhaps to them, replying on facebook so quickly was proof that they are my true friends....so was I not supposed to be offended that they didn't answer my call?

Now I know that some people say that "smart phone" technology enables them to connect immediately via social networking when they are too busy to answer calls or meet for coffee. But is it enabling them to connect in this manner or causing a need to connect this way? I mean, why are we busier now than we were before "smart phones" or facebook, or twitter? What did we do prior to cell phones?

I remember a time when I would spend hours on the phone or in person chatting to friends when I was distraught over a break up, losing a loved one, being laid off, or some other crisis. Now if I need consoling, I have to share my news with 387 of my "closest friends" just to get a "like" or heart emoticon.  I have a collection of cards and letters from friends for my birthday or when they were abroad....none recently. I remember spending hours with friends cooking a meal together, eating, drinking, laughing, sometimes crying. Those days seem to be gone. I'm not blameless in this. I too have acquiesced to today's way of connecting. It has, however, left me feeling lonely and longing for simpler tech-free times. 

Studies have shown that hugs, having someone to count on, and time spent outdoors and with loved ones raises ones' life expectancy and overall happiness. How are we getting this done online? Our expectations from relationships have been lowered, but have our needs? How do we really know how our loved ones are doing? Does a picture from a party tell us they are happy and healthy? Is a "like" sufficient support for our friends? In times of crisis, will any of your online friends go beyond a comment or philosophical meme to help? Will they even know you are in crisis? I say there is a "leak in the signal" causing intermittent disruption in our connections. We need to consciously power down our gadgets and get in each others faces. Connections made in person have staying power. Connections made online only stay when there is power. Peace and blessings.

Social Networking: An obstacle to intimacy?

Social Networking has become the primary form of communication and in many cases socializing for most people. I won't deny that it has it's benefits. It is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends who are far away, you can meet people you otherwise wouldn't have the opportunity to meet, and it has become a great way to disseminate information. The downside, however, is that it has managed to distance us from one another. Although social networking has put us all in contact with one another, I find that real connections are not made or are weakened.

People can be whomever they choose on these sites and so one doesn't always get to know the real person behind the profile. Rarely does one get significant insight into a person in 140 characters or status updates. Now, there are even sayings, cartoons, and pictures one can post so they don't even have to use their own words. Some broadcast more information than is needed, but even then, that is only part of who that person is. In all actuality, what we get from each other is the "persona" we create for social networking, not the person we really are.

Face to face communication provides more cues for better understanding and connection than does social networking, texting, tweeting, emailing, or even phone conversations. When communicating face to face, you don't just have words, but you have the voice which conveys tone, inflection, and volume. There's also facial expressions like a smile, frown, raised eyebrows, etc. that aid in delivering a message. Let's not forget body language which is particularly telling. One's words may say one thing, but their body language can tell an entirely different story. We also have to consider the environment you're in. Noises, smells, likes and dislikes can give clues about a person and can effect how they communicate. All of the emoticons in the world can't replace these cues.

It's nice to see people send prayers and words of encouragement to their "friends" when they are going through trials. But what if what the person needs is a shoulder to cry on, a hug, or an ear to listen to things they'd rather not tell to the world? Even joyful news is best celebrated in person among family and friends. There are people whose physical presence resonate so profoundly within me that I feel immediately connected to them without them having spoken a word. It's a feeling that I rarely get online.

I'm not condemning social networking, texting, or emailing. I am advocating a return to real personal connections. See the person not the persona, be the person, not the persona. There are enough obstacles to intimacy (intimacy being defined as : a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group) and togetherness. Social networking is great for making contact, face to face is best for making connections. Love and light.

These Be the Good Old Days-2011 Wrap Up

Time is a man-made construct. Energy just keeps moving. Every day is like new years eve to me because every day is a new beginning. Nonetheless, I am compelled, on this last day of 2011 to reflect on the year. A lot has happened, and I've noticed that everything that one might consider as "bad" that has happened to me has been followed up by something "great." So, I no longer see things as bad, only necessary steps to the great. Here are some highlights.

I found myself without a car at the start of the year, by spring I had another one, free of charge, no payments, and great on gas.  I've struggled to meet new friends in my new city, but I've had time to do a lot of writing which brings me joy, pick up a new hobby-jewelry making-and I've made a closer connection to my Creator, my Father, The Mighty King. Oh, and let's not forget my mini tour with my favorite group Groundation. (read about it here).

There have been some special people who have entered my life, however briefly, or infrequently. They have made a great impact on my life and they probably aren't even aware of how great. The connections we've shared have enhanced my living, and for that I give thanks, you know who you are. I've even gained lessons from those whose energy I had to learn to counterbalance. That is what this blog is about anyway. I am not here to dispense wisdom, but to gain it. The Rising of a Queen is about my journey to the throne, the throne being a place of mutual love, respect, peace, and oneness with all of creation. I am just sharing what I learn, as I learn it.

I hope this year brings more interaction and connections with good people. I'd like to see barriers taken down between people. Celebrity, wealth, "power", religion, "race," age, education, geographical location, possessions, and anything else one can think of to separate, are insignificant. We are all spirits wrapped in skin, flesh, and bones, with the same destiny. No one is better than the other. Connections and interacting with people is what gives spice to life. You never know who might be just the right ingredient to give flavor to your life.

I want to give a heartfelt thanks to anyone who has read my blog, but especially to those of you who visit regularly. Thank you to my biggest viewers the U.S., A special thanks to my Russian readers, I see you! Spasibo balshoye. (I hope that's right). Thank you United Kingdom, Canada, Germany, Malaysia, France, Italy, the Netherlands, Ireland, the Ukraine, , Belgium, and Latvia. Stay tuned. Happy New Year. Love and Light.

Change, the Missing Link

As I'm sitting here studying the remnants of broken chains in the waste basket (I never use that term because I don't care for waste, but it seems appropriate here) I see photos, cards, mementos of the past. I'm also surveying the unlinked chains of what could be the future. They don't look dissimilar. There are also photos, some framed, perhaps prematurely, and mementos signifying promises of memories to come. I am reminded of how much of a constant change is in life. Chains and change are inextricably linked.

I've always been a fan of change, so much so that I used to change the furniture in my bedroom and living room around every few months. As I got older, and better employed, my furniture became more substantial. Being a single woman living alone, that kind of change doesn't happen much anymore. I started changing hairstyles every few weeks, probably to compensate, but then I grew dreadlocks.  I realized that as we get older, life's dealings become more substantial and so do the changes. Families are formed, careers flourish, bank accounts get bigger (a little bigger) children grow. Changes then have a bigger impact than the sofa being by the window.

Many people are resistant to change. They grumble about restructuring on the job, some stay in bad relationships. There's even a commercial for baby clothing with a slogan "If they could just stay little till their Carters wear out." So now we don't even want children to grow. Being resistant to change is about fear. People are afraid of the unknown. But remember what fear is : (F)alse (E)vidence (A)ppearing (R)eal. Changes happen everyday, every second, and the world hasn't ended yet. Change is necessary for progress, and although not all change is what we would like, we can't pick and choose the changes we want. Children need to grow, learn, make memories, form links of their own. Without change, careers don't advance, love doesn't grow, life doesn't progress.

As this country, the world, is sitting (literally) on the precipice of change, we seem to be in a waiting period. Maybe that's what people find most frustrating about change, the anticipation. I think of it as a building time, a period of preparation. Perhaps what we think of as waiting, is actually the change slowly beginning. It took a change in resolve to decide to unite and make a stand, as is happening  around the globe. Bonds, or links are being formed, clarity is being gained, and I'm sure quite a bit of self realization is happening. At this thought, I am brought back to the chains around me whose links have either been broken by change, or will be formed by it. I'm a little nervous about letting go of some links though they have served their purpose, and of connecting to new links whose purpose I have yet to learn. I find it to be at once sad and exciting, and definitely necessary. Love and light.

Blessed Be the Ties that Bind

I had so many things that I wanted to blog about that I had a difficult time deciding which to choose. Once I gave it some thought, I realized that it all came down to connections. We are all connected, true, but we feel certain connections more strongly than we do others. I have a theory about that. Everything is energy and was all once the same energy, coming from the same source. Once this energy dispersed, we began vibrating on slightly different frequencies. Stay with me here. Some of us are on or closer to the same vibrational frequency with each other than we are with others and that's why we gravitate towards each other. This may be a little out there for some of you, but think about how we describe certain connections we have. We "vibe" well with each other. We're on the same "wave length". I like his "energy".  I know the source of this energy to be divine. Whether or not you buy into this theory of mine, there's no denying that some connections are stronger than others. I'm not going to concentrate too much on this theory, rather, what it means and what we do with it.

Family connections are much more than DNA. They are also shared experiences, heritage, culture, traditions, interests, beliefs, and so on. These things bind us to one another. This is why I say your family is who you make it. These are the people you love outwardly, forgive infinitely, help selflessly, and enjoy effortlessly, right? They should be. We should, of course, do these things for one another regardless of our connection, but for those we are bound to, it should be even easier.  What I've seen far too often, however, is quite the opposite. "We hurt the ones we love most" is a phrase I hate. It doesn't even make sense. If you love someone, wouldn't your instinct be to do everything possible NOT to hurt them? You see, here's what's left off of that phrase, "because we take their love and forgiveness for granted." We think that these ties that bind us are impenetrable. But are they?

I've watched many people say 'until death do us part' and then watched them walk away, still alive! I've seen parents sacrifice to raise their children as best they could only to grow old and be deserted by those same children, and that is a relationship bound by DNA! Why do we take these ties for granted? We live in a world that asks so much of us. People want money, degrees, experience, talent. They want you to look this way and act that way, believe this, and feel that. When someone loves you for you, despite you, why would you reject, ignore, or mistreat that person?  When someone wants to spend time with you, wants to know how you are and what you've been up to, it's a sign that they care about you. We spend more time trying to please and impress those who couldn't care less if we are happy or miserable, successful or failures, live or die. Yet, we expect the ties we have made to withstand abuse, and still be bound when we need them.

I don't always honor the ties I have the best I can because I let life and my own needs get in the way. I do value them, however, and if they reach out to me, I will be there as best I can. It saddens me to see people mistreat each other, but it is even more disheartening when I watch love get shined away like a smudge and ties get whittled away to nothing. I've been on the receiving end of that shining far too often so I take care not to do the same. Honor your parents, they gave you life. Honor your siblings, they helped you become who you are. Honor your friendships, love relationships, and other connections, they happened for a reason. Stop treating each other with disdain and disregard. These ties that bind us are so much bigger than any dispute, grudge, or selfish pursuit. We will, all of us be reunited on the same vibration one day, and that will mean complete harmony. These ties are the beginning of that reunion. Blessed be the ties that bind. Love and Light.