Being Yourself

I was thinking about the middle school youth I work with. You can learn a lot from middle school youth. They are in that in between stage of no longer children but not yet adults. They don't know exactly who or what they are. This, along with surging hormones, can cause them to go through some confusing and difficult times. Youth these days seem to get judged unfairly because their self exploration and desire to stand out while being accepted at the same time causes them to behave erratically, act out, and get angry with all who don't understand them.

Actually, this description is not unlike a lot of adults sometimes.  There is a group of "mean girls" in my program who are just some very bright and sweet eighth graders who have yet to figure out where they fit into the grand scheme of things. They intimidate the sixth and seventh graders, and some of the eighth graders too! They are often rude and disrespectful, particularly with adults whom they don't know or like. They 'tested' me in the beginning, by their own admission. When they saw that I wasn't going anywhere, wouldn't judge them, but correct them, and that I give them multiple opportunities to adjust their behavior, I became the one adult they did like and respect.  Of course, showing them I wouldn't tolerate disrespectful behavior played a part too. They like that I always show them respect regardless of how they behave.

Working with middle school youth gives me insight into the behavior of many adults...myself included. Everyone is trying to find their place in the world, and anyone who is working to do better and be better is going to run into some bumps in the road. Children are constantly being told how and who to be with no discussion on whether or not that's who or how they want to be. Don't get me wrong, we must teach  children to be good people, but we mustn't define for them what that looks like.

I personally have been told all of my life how I should talk, dress, think, love, learn, be. Much of this advice comes from loved ones so I try to take heed because I believe they are advising me out of love. Often times, however, they are just regurgitating what they have been told without giving thought as to whether it would fit who I am at the core. Sometimes I have to wonder who that really is and if it would be pleasing to anyone. Perhaps this is why I work with youth. I understand what it is like to be told to "be yourself" after years of so many different people telling you what "yourself" should be. It makes me wonder if we ever really leave the middle school stage of life or do we just take on more responsibilities...and advise. More love.

Unwritten...

I've been unplugged for the last couple of days, mentally, spiritually, and electronically. I lost  my connection because I allowed my ego to take control for a bit. I forgot my mission to be happy and positive no matter what. In other words, I let others' opinions of me affect me. Then today, a song came into my head that reminded me who I am...a work in progress.

I consider myself a good person because I try to do what is right, fair, and considerate of others. I try to be supportive and helpful when I can. I may not always succeed, but the intention is there. Good, bad, ugly, annoying, perplexing, naive, loving, forgiving...I am me.  I live my life out loud with arms wide open ready to receive love and lessons. There is too much joy to feel in the world to get caught up on egos, fears, and insecurities. No one should have to apologize for being who they are at any moment in time because that's all they can be at that moment. What they can apologize for is what they do that negatively effects others...then learn the lesson.

I realize that some may be overwhelmed or uncomfortable with how freely I show love, especially when they fail to reciprocate. For me, showing love also means helping others see areas they can strengthen. I do this directly rather than complain about it behind their backs, otherwise  nothing changes. It would feel nice to receive the love I give , but it is not necessary for me. I am content with loving because I know that when someone doesn't love me, or show love to me, it has more to do with them than it does with me.


Everyday is a new beginning. Yesterday does not have to define you. Sure, many may hold on to yesterday and label you with it, but anyone who doesn't take the time to get to know the ever evolving person in front of them today, at this moment, will always misjudge you. But all we can do is let them be who they are. I won't apologize for living life with fervor, loving people with passion, or for looking at every experience as a joyful miracle. Every morning when I open my eyes, I see a blank page, and as a writer, that's like food. Today I'm writing a new chapter...but the rest is still unwritten. Peace and blessings.