Being Yourself

I was thinking about the middle school youth I work with. You can learn a lot from middle school youth. They are in that in between stage of no longer children but not yet adults. They don't know exactly who or what they are. This, along with surging hormones, can cause them to go through some confusing and difficult times. Youth these days seem to get judged unfairly because their self exploration and desire to stand out while being accepted at the same time causes them to behave erratically, act out, and get angry with all who don't understand them.

Actually, this description is not unlike a lot of adults sometimes.  There is a group of "mean girls" in my program who are just some very bright and sweet eighth graders who have yet to figure out where they fit into the grand scheme of things. They intimidate the sixth and seventh graders, and some of the eighth graders too! They are often rude and disrespectful, particularly with adults whom they don't know or like. They 'tested' me in the beginning, by their own admission. When they saw that I wasn't going anywhere, wouldn't judge them, but correct them, and that I give them multiple opportunities to adjust their behavior, I became the one adult they did like and respect.  Of course, showing them I wouldn't tolerate disrespectful behavior played a part too. They like that I always show them respect regardless of how they behave.

Working with middle school youth gives me insight into the behavior of many adults...myself included. Everyone is trying to find their place in the world, and anyone who is working to do better and be better is going to run into some bumps in the road. Children are constantly being told how and who to be with no discussion on whether or not that's who or how they want to be. Don't get me wrong, we must teach  children to be good people, but we mustn't define for them what that looks like.

I personally have been told all of my life how I should talk, dress, think, love, learn, be. Much of this advice comes from loved ones so I try to take heed because I believe they are advising me out of love. Often times, however, they are just regurgitating what they have been told without giving thought as to whether it would fit who I am at the core. Sometimes I have to wonder who that really is and if it would be pleasing to anyone. Perhaps this is why I work with youth. I understand what it is like to be told to "be yourself" after years of so many different people telling you what "yourself" should be. It makes me wonder if we ever really leave the middle school stage of life or do we just take on more responsibilities...and advise. More love.

A Lesson in Lessening Waste: Weigh your Pesolet

I was watching a program last night about a Jewish camp for youth. Of particular interest, was an activity they did at the end of meals in which they weighed their "Pesolet," or waste. Each table scraped their left overs onto one plate and one of the children brought the plate up and emptied it into a bucket which they then weighed. Their goal was to lessen the weight of the pesolet each day.

The part I liked most was that the youth were not encouraged to clean their plates, rather, to be more aware of how much they put on their plates in the first place. This act caused the children to really think about how hungry they were and what their needs really were. They also had a farm and lessons on where their food came from and were challenged to think of other forms of pesolet such as paper, litter, and recyclables.

The Jewish faith has always be great about educating the youth about traditions and how to be good responsible citizens. I love that the lessons evolve to fit 21st century concerns. We should all encourage our children and ourselves to really consider what we really need so as to eliminate waste. Take a look at the toys and gadgets that you and your children received/gave for Christmas this year. Look again three months from now and see if the items are still being utilized or if your "Pesolet bucket" is getting heavier.

I have found that if you want to need less, you must first learn to desire less. The children in the program at first piled food on their plates because they wanted it, but later found that they didn't need it in order to be full. By the end of the camp, the children had gotten their pesolet down from 13 pounds to 7 pounds. That equals less waste and  more food for those who need it.

Finally, the youth were asked to challenge themselves for 6 weeks. Some chose to eat organic eggs and others chose to give up eating meat. The Pesolet challenge showed the youth that not only could they do well with less, but that they could challenge themselves and have a high chance of success. I challenge you to challenge yourselves for 6 weeks. This is not a resolution, this is an attempt to better yourselves and the world.

I encourage all of you to take a look at your own waste, including clothing and gadgets, and challenge yourselves to get by with less. It could save you money, make you healthier, and save the planet. Let us start teaching our children how to be caring and responsible global citizens, and let the first lesson be your example. Love and light.