Disconnected

Recently, I had problems with my Internet connection for several days. It turns out there was a "leak in the signal" which was causing intermittent disruptions in the connection.  I found this amusing as I thought the Internet has been causing intermittent disruptions in my personal connections for a while. A woman once told me that my tarot card was "the lovers" which meant I place value on relationships with others for success and happiness. I don't give much credence to tarot, but she was a bit on the money with this analysis.

I've always believed that how we relate to one another will determine our mutual success and happiness. We are connected at the very least in a "butterfly effect" kind of way. The ego, being so powerful, masks this connection and causes solitary behavior, thus shrinking the meaning and possibilities of our existence. Technology only throws another monkey wrench into the situation.

Friendships are now defined by "likes," "follows," "tags," and "@ mentions." The amount of effort needed to maintain a "friendship" is now down to a mouse click, yet those mouse clicks carry more value than actual face time. Have you ever smiled or gotten excited when certain people like your status/picture? Has an @mention ever made you feel closer to someone....even someone you've never met? Social media now determines how "connected" we are to each other. A few times I have called some friends on the phone and they didn't answer. I left messages for them on facebook and they immediately replied. Perhaps to them, replying on facebook so quickly was proof that they are my true friends....so was I not supposed to be offended that they didn't answer my call?

Now I know that some people say that "smart phone" technology enables them to connect immediately via social networking when they are too busy to answer calls or meet for coffee. But is it enabling them to connect in this manner or causing a need to connect this way? I mean, why are we busier now than we were before "smart phones" or facebook, or twitter? What did we do prior to cell phones?

I remember a time when I would spend hours on the phone or in person chatting to friends when I was distraught over a break up, losing a loved one, being laid off, or some other crisis. Now if I need consoling, I have to share my news with 387 of my "closest friends" just to get a "like" or heart emoticon.  I have a collection of cards and letters from friends for my birthday or when they were abroad....none recently. I remember spending hours with friends cooking a meal together, eating, drinking, laughing, sometimes crying. Those days seem to be gone. I'm not blameless in this. I too have acquiesced to today's way of connecting. It has, however, left me feeling lonely and longing for simpler tech-free times. 

Studies have shown that hugs, having someone to count on, and time spent outdoors and with loved ones raises ones' life expectancy and overall happiness. How are we getting this done online? Our expectations from relationships have been lowered, but have our needs? How do we really know how our loved ones are doing? Does a picture from a party tell us they are happy and healthy? Is a "like" sufficient support for our friends? In times of crisis, will any of your online friends go beyond a comment or philosophical meme to help? Will they even know you are in crisis? I say there is a "leak in the signal" causing intermittent disruption in our connections. We need to consciously power down our gadgets and get in each others faces. Connections made in person have staying power. Connections made online only stay when there is power. Peace and blessings.

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Don't Miss the Boat!

Lately I've been thinking about a joke I once heard. It's about a man in the ocean who was drowning and a couple of fisherman in a small boat happened by. The fisherman said to the man, "give us your hands we'll pull you in." The man replied, "No, that's ok, God will save me." A few minutes later, a yacht came near the man and threw a life ring in the water yelling, " take the ring, we'll pull you aboard." Still, the man refused saying, "Don't worry, my Father in heaven will rescue me." After another while, the man really began to struggle to stay afloat when a cruise ship came up to him. They threw him a life boat and shouted, "get in and row towards the ship and we'll save you." Once again the man replied, "No thank you, I have faith that God Almighty will save me!" As the cruise ship sailed away, the man's struggle became too much for him and he drowned. Once he got to heaven he met his maker and asked, "God, I had so much faith that you would save me! Why did you let me drown?" God replied, "I sent you three boats!" I guess it's more of an allegory really.

How many times have you missed the boat because "salvation" didn't appear the way you imagined? External influences and indoctrination cause us to formulate ideals and expectations of how our desires will manifest. God, The Great Spirit, the universe, fate, or whatever you call the higher energy that seems to move throughout our world gives us ample  blessings, opportunities, and chances to fulfill our needs and desires, but we are often blind to them because they don't appear the way we expect.

I'm learning that the best thing to do is to eliminate expectations altogether. Once we open our minds and hearts to all possibilities, we are then able to let go of ideals that keep us from seeing what's right in front of us. Media seems to influence most areas of our lives. We are told what beauty is, what love and success looks like, and even what will make us happy. All of these things are subjective and will therefore look different for different people. Once we stop allowing outside influences to dictate how we think, feel, and behave, then we let go of expectation.

Now this doesn't mean that one should not have hope or be optimistic. Though hope and optimism both involve expectation, one is not attached to the outcome. When we are hopeful or optimistic about a situation's outcome, we essentially "willing" the best to happen rather than looking for the best to appear as we imagine. For example, if the drowning man was "hopeful" and "optimistic" about God saving him, he would have recognized the boats as being his salvation. Instead, the man must have had "expectations" of a giant hand reaching from the sky and snatching him up out of the water.

Be hopeful and optimistic that the best will happen for you. Let go of your preconceived notions of what "the best" is and you will be able to recognize it when it comes. Miracles happen around us everyday...don't miss the boat! Peace and blessings.

Truth Is...

In the end, it all goes back to the beginning. I'm learning from my journey to the throne that life interferes with truth starting from birth. We are all born with all of the knowledge we need to be healthy, happy, accomplished beings. As soon as we are born, however, we are being taught to adopt as truth what those who came before us have adopted as truth. I used to think that at a certain point in our infancy we forget what we already knew. I'm now starting to wonder if dependency on our caregivers creates in us a need to acquiesce in order to survive. If this is true, what happens to us, then, once we are able to care for ourselves? Why do we not return to the knowledge with which we are born? At some point, I surmise, we abandon it, and if we ever choose to denounce what we have always been told and seek the truth within, it becomes an uphill battle.

Most animals know instinctively what must be done for survival. Birds are pushed out of a nest and automatically fly; four legged animals stand and walk from the moment they exit the womb; and mothers of these animals have no need for birthing or parenting classes. Humans pass this information and these lessons on to their offspring which ensures and makes survival of the species easier and more efficient. Other lessons, however, can become detrimental to the mental, emotional and spiritual survival of humans.

We are not just taught how to walk, talk, read, or write. We are taught how and what to think, behave, and believe. We are taught right and wrong. These are the lessons that are subject to interpretation. We are all one, all connected, the same on a basic molecular level. Our purposes and functions as part of a collective, however, differ on many levels. Think of humanity as a machine and each human as a different part of the machine. Each part has a particular function in order to work in harmony with the other parts making the machine functional and useful. Each part/person, then must have specific behaviors, shapes, processes, etc. So although we are one, we are different and for reasons.

These differences enable us to contribute to this machine called society in unique ways which can benefit the collective. Why then, and how, are we so determined to have everyone think, behave, look, believe the same way? We are told what happiness, beauty, love, success, and even God should look like, and we reject anyone or anything that suggests otherwise. We do this to the point of ignoring our own feelings, instincts, intuition and experiences.

When we have seen or experienced happiness without fancy cars, expensive clothes, or flashy jewelry, what is it that compels us to believe we are not or can not be happy without them? If we feel love for someone who is different than what we have been told is lovable or attractive, why do we run from that love? We have become a society reliant upon acceptance in order to be happy. I am not immune to this. I too have consciously and unconsciously done what I thought was expected of me, believed what I was told about myself (both good and bad) and allowed myself to be defined by the collective.

We intrinsically have an inner truth that may only be true for ourselves and our function within the machine. Whether we are aware of it or not, we go through a constant inner battle between the truth we are born with and the truth that is indoctrinated in us throughout our lives. The indoctrinated truth causes wanting because it is not our truth. This wanting causes us to suffer when we can not manage to live a truth that is not meant for us. If we are aware of this battle, we seek our own truth, and in the end, it all goes back to the beginning.

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Every Mikkle Mek A Mukkle

This Jamaican proverb means simply, the small things count because the small things add up to big things. It’s similar to the saying, “Every little bit counts.” This proverb could apply to a myriad of different things from saving money, to cooking, to deeds. When you were a child, did you ever have a piggy bank into which you put every coin you procured until one day you had enough for your favorite toy or treat? Have you ever wondered why a pinch of salt made such a big difference in a recipe? Then there are the things we do for others or that others do for us.

Often, the material world has us caught up in getting big things now. We can sometimes find ourselves in a bind when we rush or take shortcuts to get the immediate “big payoff.” We really fall short when we fail to recognize the little things people do for us to show they care or when we fail to do little things for others because the flash of grandiose gestures blinds us from what is truly special.

Every deed we do, good or bad, has the potential of making a lasting impression on others’ lives, including those who witness them. Perhaps you’re a man or woman of meager means who can’t afford expensive gifts or fancy nights out, but you take the time to send a text, leave a note, or make a call to that special someone to let them know you are thinking of them. You might just say, “I hope you are having a great day.” It may appear to pale in comparison to a Rolex, unless the receiver read the message at a low point in his or her day.

Many years ago my brother had some old friends over and much alcohol was consumed. I took everyone’s keys and told them to grab a piece of the floor. It seemed logical, I didn’t want anyone driving drunk, so I thought nothing of it. Several years later, one of my brother’s friends who was at the gathering called to take me out to lunch. To my surprise, he expressed immense gratitude to me for taking his keys that night because he thought he was fine to drive, but realized that he wasn’t once I took his keys. To be honest, I didn’t even remember the incident…but he did. Making a difference in one person’s life is easier than you think. One small gesture, kind word, smile can be the difference between a good or bad day for someone, or even a good or bad decision that could change his or her life.

We can often get overwhelmed by ideals. If we think of how many hungry people there are in the world, we may come to the conclusion that the little bit we can offer will not make a dent in feeding them. But there are 7 billion people on the planet. Imagine what a third of us could do together.

We shouldn’t back away from the seemingly daunting task of being human because it is the little things that we do that add up to big things. If compassion is part of our daily dealings, then every little thing we do ads up to something big for humanity. It is the essence of being human, which we sometimes forget. Every smile, recycled bottle, minute spent with a loved one, kind gesture, and penny donated builds a resume of memories, love, and positive energy. If we see the universe as an ocean and every living thing in it as a drop, we can see how Every Mikkle Mek a Mukkle

The Labels We Carry Inside

A hot topic in my circle in the past year has been the issue of labeling genetically modified foods. The argument is simple: people deserve to know what they are ingesting. Recently, I witnessed someone (we'll call Sally)  make an assumption about another person's (let's call her Sue) character based on what she thought was rude behavior. Sally thought Sue had "snubbed" her with her less than enthusiastic greeting. What Sally didn't know was that Sue had just lost her best friend to breast cancer. She was only twenty two.

The thought immediately came to my mind that it was too bad that people didn't come with labels so that we could know what type of energy they were ingesting. We are often so quick to jump to conclusions or make assumptions without all of the evidence. Usually, it is my guess, it is because we make situations all about ourselves. We tend to expect people to behave or react the way we do or how our experiences tell us they should.

People tend to make a lot of assumptions based on what they see, which often is a facade. This rush to judgement often makes them react inappropriately. Think about the people on social networking sites who post only happy moments and good times. Or what about celebrities who smile in their thousand dollar dresses or luxury cars. We may think to ourselves, 'wow, they have it all,' or 'they are living the good life."But these are their "personas."
All of these people at any given moment could be suffering from loneliness, depression, illness, or some sort of loss. But we all try to put our best foot forward for appearances or in order to not burden others.

What if we could put a label on that said exactly what we were going through: "feeling lonely," "had a fight with my spouse," "in debt," "low self esteem." I wonder if it would make a difference in how we treat one another. A more sensible solution could be to check in on people and ask how they are doing. Or, perhaps, think to yourself, 'Sue is generally a kind and friendly person, and I haven't done anything wrong, she must be going through something.' If you know the person well, you should always think, 'I know she loves me and thinks highly of me so maybe I am miss interpreting her or there is something else behind her words and actions.'

In other words, before we make assumptions and rush to judgement, maybe we should take a step back, breathe, and think about who the person is, or even that we don't know the person or what they are going through. Until we get labels for ourselves, we should be careful not to label others. After all, we don't know what's inside. Peace and blessings.