The Labels We Carry Inside

A hot topic in my circle in the past year has been the issue of labeling genetically modified foods. The argument is simple: people deserve to know what they are ingesting. Recently, I witnessed someone (we'll call Sally)  make an assumption about another person's (let's call her Sue) character based on what she thought was rude behavior. Sally thought Sue had "snubbed" her with her less than enthusiastic greeting. What Sally didn't know was that Sue had just lost her best friend to breast cancer. She was only twenty two.

The thought immediately came to my mind that it was too bad that people didn't come with labels so that we could know what type of energy they were ingesting. We are often so quick to jump to conclusions or make assumptions without all of the evidence. Usually, it is my guess, it is because we make situations all about ourselves. We tend to expect people to behave or react the way we do or how our experiences tell us they should.

People tend to make a lot of assumptions based on what they see, which often is a facade. This rush to judgement often makes them react inappropriately. Think about the people on social networking sites who post only happy moments and good times. Or what about celebrities who smile in their thousand dollar dresses or luxury cars. We may think to ourselves, 'wow, they have it all,' or 'they are living the good life."But these are their "personas."
All of these people at any given moment could be suffering from loneliness, depression, illness, or some sort of loss. But we all try to put our best foot forward for appearances or in order to not burden others.

What if we could put a label on that said exactly what we were going through: "feeling lonely," "had a fight with my spouse," "in debt," "low self esteem." I wonder if it would make a difference in how we treat one another. A more sensible solution could be to check in on people and ask how they are doing. Or, perhaps, think to yourself, 'Sue is generally a kind and friendly person, and I haven't done anything wrong, she must be going through something.' If you know the person well, you should always think, 'I know she loves me and thinks highly of me so maybe I am miss interpreting her or there is something else behind her words and actions.'

In other words, before we make assumptions and rush to judgement, maybe we should take a step back, breathe, and think about who the person is, or even that we don't know the person or what they are going through. Until we get labels for ourselves, we should be careful not to label others. After all, we don't know what's inside. Peace and blessings.

Being Yourself

I was thinking about the middle school youth I work with. You can learn a lot from middle school youth. They are in that in between stage of no longer children but not yet adults. They don't know exactly who or what they are. This, along with surging hormones, can cause them to go through some confusing and difficult times. Youth these days seem to get judged unfairly because their self exploration and desire to stand out while being accepted at the same time causes them to behave erratically, act out, and get angry with all who don't understand them.

Actually, this description is not unlike a lot of adults sometimes.  There is a group of "mean girls" in my program who are just some very bright and sweet eighth graders who have yet to figure out where they fit into the grand scheme of things. They intimidate the sixth and seventh graders, and some of the eighth graders too! They are often rude and disrespectful, particularly with adults whom they don't know or like. They 'tested' me in the beginning, by their own admission. When they saw that I wasn't going anywhere, wouldn't judge them, but correct them, and that I give them multiple opportunities to adjust their behavior, I became the one adult they did like and respect.  Of course, showing them I wouldn't tolerate disrespectful behavior played a part too. They like that I always show them respect regardless of how they behave.

Working with middle school youth gives me insight into the behavior of many adults...myself included. Everyone is trying to find their place in the world, and anyone who is working to do better and be better is going to run into some bumps in the road. Children are constantly being told how and who to be with no discussion on whether or not that's who or how they want to be. Don't get me wrong, we must teach  children to be good people, but we mustn't define for them what that looks like.

I personally have been told all of my life how I should talk, dress, think, love, learn, be. Much of this advice comes from loved ones so I try to take heed because I believe they are advising me out of love. Often times, however, they are just regurgitating what they have been told without giving thought as to whether it would fit who I am at the core. Sometimes I have to wonder who that really is and if it would be pleasing to anyone. Perhaps this is why I work with youth. I understand what it is like to be told to "be yourself" after years of so many different people telling you what "yourself" should be. It makes me wonder if we ever really leave the middle school stage of life or do we just take on more responsibilities...and advise. More love.

Uncle

When someone passes away, people say, "I'm sorry for your loss." It is slowly but surely being revealed to me that it is not a loss, rather a gain. Unfortunately for most of us, it is a gain of some things we most surely would have benefited from recognizing and appreciating while our loved one was still here.

My uncle recently passed, and I feel compelled to honor him in some way. Please do not mistake this post for that, as it is not nearly sufficient enough to do him justice. My uncle was a quiet man of clear strength mentally, physically and emotionally. He was not known to use a lot of words, but his actions, the way he lived his life spoke volumes. There was no doubt that he loved his family as he often showed by being there for their every need. I can't imagine that anyone who met him had anything less than respect and love for him. There was a silent sweetness about my uncle that drew ones into him.

My brother and I used to say that my uncle walked softly but carried a big stick. He had the ability to charm with the same quiet strength he used to correct. He was the most significant male figure in my life, and I only now realize that he was the example the Most High gave me of the type of man I should choose as a mate. I missed this, somehow, believing that I had missed out on the father/daughter experience, when all the while, the uncle/niece experience was even more beneficial.

He treated me like a princess; spoiling me with parties and gifts, rewarding me for A's, and being there for every significant event in my life. He wasn't overly demonstrative, or demonstrative at all for that matter, neither was he pejorative. He loved in deed, and one moment of sternness was all that was needed (although I admit, he saved most of that for my brother). I remember that he always came for Sunday dinner and would watch westerns afterwards. I would sit at his feet and color or read, because westerns were boring, but I loved my uncle. Then, one day, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" came on. At first it was Enio Morricone's soundtrack that drew my attention. But I soon became drawn in by the "Man With No Name" and his ability to strike fear with a single look in a scene that seemed to go on forever with no dialogue. The Good, Clint Eastwood's character, spoke few words, but commanded much respect...my uncle in a nutshell.

When I think about my uncle's life, I realize that while he was here, he was a living example of a good man. He chose a wife who honored and loved him and his family as her own. He easily embraced her family, and he worked hard and made the sacrifices necessary to provide for her and their son. Looking at the man my cousin has become today, it is clear that my uncle's good character, sweetness, and quiet strength has been passed down to another generation. I will strive for these same qualities as well as surround myself with like people, and in that way, honor my beloved uncle.

Higher Power

Sometimes I wonder how people who don't believe in a higher power of any sort manage to get through difficult times or even the little day to day mishaps. If they seem happy, I really wonder what they do to get through. My faith is sometimes the only thing that gets me through these times.

We are all saddled with so many burdens these days. Life can seem oppressive. lonely, and overwhelming. People seem to float silently in their own little bubbles, concerned only with what affects them. We forget about each other...that we are put here for each other. It's a comfort to me to know that there is something bigger than myself, a higher energy, or energies, that I can call on for strength.

These energies are often in the form of like minds and hearts, some of whom we have never or will never meet. who are vibrating, or thinking and feeling on the same wave length. My Father, the Mighty King (as I call H.I.M.) has shown me hope, given me strength, and provided me with the tools to gather and use that strength. To those "non-believers" this may sound obtuse, but I am thankful for the resilient spirit having faith in goodness has created.

In my opinion, even when two gather and have reasonable discourse about good in the universe with the purpose of understanding and being better, that, in itself, is a higher power. Any good we even think about is a higher power...if good is being defined as that which helps and doesn't harm.

I write this at the end of a long day filled with doubt, unfulfilled dreams, hard news, and no shoulder to cry on. I am struggling to cope with that which I cannot control or understand...yet. Still, I have writing, music, and hope...for that I am thankful.

The Butterfly Effect

On this day we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It has been dubbed "A day of service." I love that we honor Dr. King's memory by serving others as he was so adamant about serving our fellow beings. I would, however, encourage ones to remember Dr. King's works, his service, to humanity in his fight for human rights. We must not forget his dream because we have yet to realize it. The fact is, governments worldwide still have much to do in the way of gaining justice and equality for all humankind. The onus, though, is not just on governments, but also on we the people. There is much we can do to ensure equal rights for all, so a day of service is fitting, but might I suggest we extend it to many days.

There are many ways to serve and I believe service, like all things, begins at home. I am not referring merely to your actual home, although it is a good place to start. Your friends, family, and community are all places where your service can be helpful. How many times has someone asked for your assistance and you found you were too busy or would be too put upon to oblige? I often have ones asking for a shoulder, an ear, a ride, money, support, and I try to give it. Some find ways to take advantage, and I get reprimanded by loved ones for "doing too much for people." That seems like such a selfish statement sometimes.

Dr. King once said, ‎"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity." This statement makes me think of the butterfly effect. The butterfly effect is a term used in chaos theory to describe how small changes to a seemingly unrelated thing or condition (also known as an initial condition) can affect large, complex systems. The term comes from the suggestion that the flapping of a butterfly's wings in South America could affect the weather in Texas, meaning that the tiniest influence on one part of a system can have a huge effect on another part. So, if I set aside my individualistic concerns and help someone in need, the effects of that action can be far reaching.

If I buy someone a meal, I put money into the economy and community, securing jobs for at least another day, which enables others to eat, farmers to survive, children to be nourished so they can grow and become productive members of society, possibly creating a better world...and that's just how my buying a meal for someone might effect the business I purchased it from! My point is, when we help one, it is never just one we help, and we help ourselves in the process. If you can't find a reason to serve someone, think of the butterfly effect and realize you will be serving all of humanity. More love.

Conscious Comments

The January issue of Conscious Comments magazine is out! Click the link below to check it out. Please feel free to share and come back here to comment. If you are interested in writing for the publication please contact me at impressashaki@gmail.com

More love



go to Conscious Comments magazine

2012 Review

It's that time again, time to reflect on the year and survey where I've been, see how far I've come, and map out where I'd like to go. I have to say it's been a fantastic year. Despite being unemployed for ten out of the twelve months, I've accomplished, experienced, and enjoyed quite a bit. Much of what I've experienced and many whom I have met have served as building blocks for the road ahead.

The year began with great music, not only from my favorite group Groundation, but also from two of my new favorite artists Junior Toots and Rocker-T. This is significant not just because music plays such a vital role in my existence, but also because all of these brilliant musicians have become dear treasured loved ones in my life. I usually try to keep ones anonymous, but these gentlemen and women have had key roles in the development of this year for me. 

Junior Toots invited me to be in his video for his song "A Little Bit of Love" from his wonderful album of the same title. At the shoot, he introduced me to some lovely people whom I am pleased to call friends now. The lovely Sol Atash, who sings with him, has become a dear friend as well. It was at Junior Toots' cd release party on my birthday where I met the magnanimous Rocker-T. I fell in love with his music that night, and maybe him a little bit too. Both he and his music are deeply moving, inspiring, and engaging. I have since had the privilege and honor to intern for him; an experience which enables me to learn and grow musically, spiritually, and mentally. I am proud to promote such a conscious, kind, and loving artist. His new EP "From Brooklyn to Oakland" is available now on iTunes download it here and his phenomenal album will be released in 2013. (Oh yeah, I'm good at what I do)


The accomplishment I'm most proud of this year is starting my new online magazine "Conscious Comments" check it out here which is a free magazine devoted to sharing ways people can and are living  more conscious and thoughtful lives. It is dear to me because my desire is to have a positive effect on the world and this gives me the opportunity to do it. I have been blessed to have some wonderful, thoughtful, knowledgeable and conscious beings contribute to it including the great Rocker-T who does the editorial every month, guest posts by Harrison Stafford, lead singer of Groundation and dear friend, Kelsey Howard, great trombone player from Groundation, Rusty Zinn, an awesome reggae artist and friend, Francesco Thomas (who did Rocker-T's 99.9 Percent video seen above) as well as contributions from dear friends Elizabeth Renter, Lance Malveaux, Angelica Erskine, Davina Estrella Oji, and beautiful photos by my dear brother and friend Hossein Attar. I am eternally grateful and in awe of these magnificent individuals.

I've connected with dear ones, experienced a great deal of awesome music, made amends, come to grips, and began coming into my crown. I feel so much optimism and enthusiasm for the future and so much more love in the present. I give thanks and praises to my Father The Mighty King Haile Selassie I for all my many blessings and lessons from the past years and those to come. I am coming out of the shadows in 2013...look for the queen in the whirlwind! Blessed New Year! More Love.

Find Junior Toots' music here on facebook here Twitter @juniortoots
Find Rocker-T's music here and on iTunes here on facebook here and here Twitter @theRealRockerT
Find Groundation's music here on facebook here Twitter @Groundation707
Find Reggae Professor here on facebook here Twitter @reggaeprofessor
Find Rusty Zinn's music here on facebook here Twitter @rustyzinn1
Find Sol Atash on facebook here on Twitter @solatash
Find Hossein Attar's photos on instagram younglion13
Find Francesco Thomas I.Livity Productions here