Wisdom From A Dream

Last night I had a powerful dream. I was in the desert at night sitting around a campfire with a group of people whose faces I didn't see but I knew I knew them. There was a Native American elder telling stories. The first story he told was of a man who spent his life searching for gold. One day he came upon a cave with several chests. One chest stood out because it had a golden sheen. He went to open it but it was locked, so he took out his tools and spent many hours attempting to unlock it. 

Meanwhile, the chest next to it which was made of splintering wood and had rusted hinges was unlocked. Inside it was diamonds, pearls, and rubies of tremendous value. But the man overlooked that chest and went about trying to unlock the other. As night fell, the man grew tired and decided to rest. When leaned against the wall, he noticed that the chest he had been working on was actually made of mirrored glass that had been reflecting the sun peering through and opening in the roof of the cave. He took a stone and smashed the chest open only to find that it was empty. Dejected, the man left the cave and continued his search...leaving the unnoticed chest full of jewels behind.

The elder said, "The treasure you seek may be disguised but it is not hidden. You must open every chest to get to the heart of the matter." Then he instructed us to look into the fire and he tossed a stick into it and said, "See how the fire burns stronger with just a little fuel? But the flame must be fed."

He continued with another story about a man who travelled the world seeking wisdom. He visited all of the known spiritual masters for counsel, but they all told him the same thing, "The wisdom you seek is already within you." The man was dissatisfied with this answer and continually replied, "If the wisdom was within me, I would not have travelled all of these miles seeking it!" The man became weary on his journey and sat on the side of a road under a tree weeping when another traveler came upon him. The traveler asked the man, "Why are you so sad dear friend?" The man replied, " I have travelled many miles the whole world around seeking wisdom from all of the great masters but none can tell me anything except 'the wisdom you seek is within you.' Can they not see I am not wise?" The traveller replied, of course they can because they know that  one who possesses much wisdom has it in the heart, not on the lips and one head does not contain all the wisdom. Listen to your heart."

The Native elder then said,"Our first teacher is our own heart." Then he instructed us to look into the fire again and said, "See how the twigs burn but the rocks beneath it absorb the fire and retain the heat. We must not be the fuel for the fire, but allow the fire to grow hot within us."

The final story he told I had already heard, then again it was my dream. He told the story of a man who heard the voice of God speak to him. The voice said, "See the large bolder at the bottom of that hill? Go and push it." The man was a spiritual and faithful servant and so he did as he was told by the Great Spirit. Everyday for months the man push the bolder all day making little progress. His muscles ached but grew, and his skin, bathed in daily sun, became tough and leathery. One day, exasperated, the man cried out, "Oh Great Spirit, I honor You, I have tried to do what you asked but I am not strong enough to push this bolder up that hill. Why have You given me such an impossible task?" Then the Great Spirit replied, "My son, you are a loyal servant and you have indeed done all I asked. I never asked you to push the bolder up the hill, I only asked you to push it! Look at how your muscles have grown and how much more power you have! See how tough your skin is because of the sun baking it daily! You are now strong enough for what is to come."

The elder then said to us, "Not every task will yield the results you expect, but you will grow stronger for it." He instructed us one last time to look into the fire. "Is the fire hot enough? How will you test it? Will you put your hand in it? Surely it is hot enough to burn your skin." Then he threw another small stick into the fire and said, "It is not your job to judge how hot the fire is. It is only your job to feed it. The fire will be hot enough...it is fire! Your only job is to keep it burning."

I woke up and wrote down all I had remembered because this was a rare and powerful dream. I think I have learned the lessons within it, but if I forget, I have it writing now! I know for sure that I must keep the fire burning by feeding it. I think the fire is passion and the fuel or wood can be many things; family, friends, love, music, knowledge, wisdom. I feel like my Father The Mighty King was speaking directly to me...just when I needed it. I hope this helps you too. 

Pay Attention

In my lifetime, I have personally known at least two people who have committed suicide and one whose death left questions. I have had fewer than six degrees of separation from many others, and who knows how many have attempted. Is this normal? Are we ok with it being normal if it is?  At this moment in the world, devastating events are occurring that could (and should) have huge affect on our emotions and psyche. Are we paying enough attention to one another to make sure we're all ok?

I'm going to get very personal. I have been dealing with loss and stress, and I feel particularly sensitive to the tragedies occurring around the world. I have too much reverence for life and those I would leave behind to take my own life, but I've been depressed nonetheless. I try to always be positive, even fake it until I make it if I must. I have, however, shared my feelings with a couple of people whom I feel close to, but I realize that people don't always know what to say in these situations. So they usually say and do nothing.

Sometimes words aren't enough anyway, but checking in and spending time can do wonders. It shows people they are cared for and reminds them about the joys of life. We, as a society, have a tendency to get lost in our own world, to hear and not listen, or to believe that others deal with life the same way that we do. In other words, our compassion gets distracted. 

This is a time for us to draw closer to one another. We need to combine our collective consciousness to not only raise the planet's vibration to a higher frequency, but to raise one another's spirits as well. I've said it time and time again, but now more than ever we should check in with one another and really see how we're all doing. Don't be too reticent to reach out, even to those we don't really know. Increase your compassion, even to levels that are almost uncomfortable. Share your strength, your positive energy, your love. We are in this together. What happens to one happens to all. Be mindful.

What are we missing?

It is a common myth that we only use 10% of our brains. We use our entire brains, just not all at once. Different parts of the brain serve different functions, and a small percentage of brain damage can be catastrophic.  Perhaps we believe we only use such a small portion of our brains because of all of the things we miss on a daily basis. But it's really a matter of being conscious, aware, and in the moment. It takes greater concentration to see all the things we miss moment to moment. So what are we missing?

How many sunrises and sunsets have each of us actually seen? When the scent of Jasmin permeates the air, do we take notice of the flower that is giving off the scent? What are we missing? Do we see the pain behind a smile? Can we hear the sadness in a laugh or feel the loneliness in a hug? What are we missing?

Do we notice the homeless on the streets anymore? Do we recognize when clothes, cars, houses, and other possessions are masks to hide an unhappy reality? What are we missing? Are we aware of how many beautiful spirits we have rejected for beautiful faces? Have we noticed the low self esteem behind the beautiful faces? What are we missing?

When we fight, do we miss the pain or remorse wrapped in harsh words? When children act out/misbehave, can we hear the cry for love? What are we missing? If we meet those who are seemingly our polar opposites. do we take a moment to see our commonalities? Is the other side of the world so much different from our own? What are we missing?

Can we see the deception behind the facade of flattery and niceties? Can we feel the sincere caring in correction? What are we missing? Does the person dressed in name brand clothing driving a luxury vehicle have more integrity and decency than the one wearing hand me downs and taking the bus? What are we missing?

When we read, do we form our own thoughts and opinions on the subject, or do we take the author's point of view? Do we read anymore? What are we missing? Do we listen to what is and isn't being said taking note of body language, tone of voice, and the source? Do we just hear words and let our own personal experiences be the judge? What are we missing?

Are we listening to our inner voices, the feeling in our guts? Are we listening to others' opinions instead of our own? What are we missing? Do we realize the miracles of being alive, making meaningful connections, the ability to change in every way? Are we taking the miracles around us for granted? What are we missing?

What, indeed, are we missing? We use our entire brains, but we are usually unaware when certain parts of our brains are enacted because they are automatic. We often move through life the same way. 'How are you?' becomes merely a greeting, the answer 'I'm fine' becomes rote, and many often don't really listen to the answer, rather, they hear a response and move on to the next topic. Routine blocks out the beauty of nature or the tragedy of man, and belief systems handed down to us prevents open hearts, open thoughts, free choice, and free spirits. 

Although the brain has parts we need not pay attention to, if we fail to take care of ourselves, we risk damaging the brain. We've become numb, almost robotic, and our vision both physical and spiritual has been tunneled leaving us heartless, apathetic, and unfulfilled. This life we are given has strings attached, and these strings are connections
to every living thing.  When we fail to take care of these connections we risk damaging them. We use our entire brains. All we need to do is pay attention.

Move Like a Queen

I was inspired to do this post because whenever I check the stats on my posts, one has always been viewed each week. When I check the overall views for all of my posts, "Think Like a Queen"  (read it here) posted in April of 2012 has received far more views than the rest. This got me thinking, maybe this conversation isn't over yet.

Now I realize that search words led viewers to my blog, and I have no idea if my words had a positive impact on the readers. But the impetus for continuing this conversation is the fact that people are seeking to learn how queens think. I don't claim to be an expert, I am just relaying my experiences, both observed and lived, of what is recognized by others as queenly. 

I believe that a queen can be summed up as having words, thoughts, and actions that have emerged from a sole purpose: love. Nowadays, people have talked about 'showing love,' 'being love,' or 'having love' so much that it has become a concept of "new aged" thinking. But there's nothing new about love. It has been around longer than anything else. The universe has developed harmoniously and with perfection and respect for all life...and that's love. When a person has the intention to be kind, thoughtful, considerate, and respectful to all life, everything he/she does is loving. 

A queen will choose her words wisely and with the intent to strengthen, build up, uplift, guide, sooth, educate or correct. Her words, although they may sometimes chide, will be well meaning and with the purpose of creating harmony. She is careful to not only be kind, but precise in her meaning. She will be gentle but stern when needed, truthful yet positive, and her timing will be impeccable. 

She will be conscious of her emotions and not allow them to dictate her actions. She will, in fact, act purposefully rather than react rashly. Her movements are purposely made to help not hinder. She is cautious not to upset perfect balance, yet bold enough to bring order out of chaos. She knows the power of her femininity and shows restraint with it. The truth of who she is is always evident, yet she saves the mystery of what makes her unique for a select few. 

As trials come in every life, so a queen is not immune. Trials for a queen, however, become a step raising her closer to the heavens. She endures trials with quiet grace and burgeoning faith knowing that each wound, when healed, will leave behind tougher skin. A queen will always find a way to grow from trials and will readily share what she has learned so that others do not have to suffer the same fate.

I've seen some of these qualities in myself, but more so in other women whom I admire. I admit, it is not easy to always think, act, and speak like a queen. But I have always believed that perfection is the act of striving for perfection. Intention is far more powerful than mindless habit. So practice makes perfect. These are just a few of my humble thoughts and observations. More love royal ones.

Lunchtime Reflections

I'm certain there's something going on in the cosmos that's inspiring these existential thoughts to be so at the forefront of my mind I have to take my lunch break to get it out. It occurs to me, quite often in fact, that all of the people we encounter in a single day, even the ones we think we know well, are really just mysterious creatures with a myriad of unseen facets.

We never really know what wheels are turning in a person's head, or what makes his or her heart ache or smile. We only know what people choose to let us know. I know that for me personally, there is no single person to whom I tell everything. In fact, there are things I know, think, feel, or have experienced that no one knows about. 

How, then, do we expect to really know someone? Well, we probably can't completely know someone. We are so conditioned by media or past experiences, to expect things/people to come in certain packages, so that when we see a package that we think is familiar, we put a label on it. We don't leave much room for people to reveal who they really are. Fear of judgement for either not looking as expected, or the pain of failure to be what is expected often causes us to conceal a huge part of who we really are.

So we smile and pretend we're not hurting, or maybe we feign being angry rather than cry. We play dumb in situations where we know we have insight because it is better than being belittled. How many times have you said something to someone and they blew you off and someone else told them the same thing and it became gospel?

This isn't some new revelation. I realize we are all aware that we don't know everything about each other. But, if we want to know each other better, we have to reveal ourselves to each other. That means trusting and making ourselves vulnerable, and it also means being open minded, empathetic, and non judgemental. At the very least, we should be kind. I'm just curious why if we know this, we don't treat each other more kindly, with more compassion? Why don't we check on each other? Why do we take our pain and anger out on others if we know they already must have their own? Why don't we lean on each other? Yeah, existential questions always seem to leave us asking why. But, my lunch break is over. Untill next time.

Commencement

I love graduation season. People get to celebrate successfully completing all of their hard work. I particularly like it because it is one of the few times we formally recognize and celebrate the ending of one chapter in our lives as the beginning of another. I think we should have more ceremonies or rites like this, even if it just on a personal level to remind us that the end of one thing is also the beginning of another.

I'm not sure if younger graduates know that commencement means a starting or jumping off point. I think they are so happy to be finishing school (or that portion of school) that graduation for them is an ending. We should impart to them that like a video game (to use an analogy they may be familiar with), when you finish one level, you graduate to the next, and life is one continuous commencement.

As we move through life, there are many endings such as jobs, relationships, even to our selves. But as jobs and relationships end, often there are others to follow. Sometimes we experience a whole new way of living altogether if we retire or get married. As we learn and experience life, we grow and change, and after a time we may notice that we are no longer the same person we once were. 

We tend to forget, if we ever truly comprehended, the meaning and symbolism of graduation or commencement. When we graduate from school, it means we have learned lessons well enough to move on to the next stages of life. As adults, we actually have the advantage of learning our lessons after an experience is over. When we get fired from a job or a relationship ends, if we take time to reflect on the experience, we can learn what we did or didn't do that worked or didn't work and become conscious enough to carry those lessons into the next experience.

Endings are never the end. They are always the beginning of something new. Even when we leave this earth physically, what leave behind can be a starting point for those to come. We should always remember that life is one big school and we are always students graduating from one level to the next. We should celebrate so called endings as a commencement to the next phase in our lives. Congratulations to us all for matriculating in this life. Turn your tassels y'all!

Change is Inevitable, Adapting is Imperative

I've become diligent about looking for and taking note of recurring themes around me. I find the universe to be very direct about the lessons it's trying to teach me. I used to think the lessons were for others until I began to see how these themes were present in my own life. Today's recurring theme: rigidity.

Rigidity is defined in the dictionary as:  

1.

stiff or unyielding; not pliant or flexible; hard: a rigid strip of metal.

2.

firmly fixed or set.

3.

inflexible, strict, or severe: a rigid disciplinarian; rigid rules of social behavior.

4.

exacting; thorough; rigorous: a rigid examination.

5.

so as to meet precise standards; stringent: lenses ground to rigid specifications.

In psychiatry and clinical psychology, it is an aspect of personality characterized by a person's resistance to change. This is the rigidity that I want to talk about. It is pervasive in society today, yet it goes against basic human instinct.

Charles Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” We have seen this in biological evolutionary sense with the development of "races." As humans migrated  traveling across ice bridges, they have adapted to their environments as they spread across the world. For example, melanin in the skin acts as a shield against ultraviolet light, however if it completely blocked ultraviolet light, vitamin D would not be generated in the body. In tropical areas, the sun is very strong and people have more melanin, in cooler areas the sun is less strong and people have less melanin so sufficient vitamin D is generated.

Adapting to change, then, is not only human nature, but a biological and psychological imperative. Yet, we remain rigid in our thinking, beliefs, outlooks despite our environment and circumstances screaming for adaptation. Fear, of course, is the cause of such rigidity. We fear the unknown, we fear dissatisfaction, judgement, imbalance, disharmony, and unhappiness. But if we take a look around at what the status quo has brought us, we'll notice we're already in the midst of those things.

On a personal level, I've realized that striving for the life I imagined as the possibilities move further and further away, I am being rigid in the way I define happiness. Sometimes our purposes on this planet are not reflected in our desires. But I'm recognizing that purpose is more determined than desire. Our reasons for being here are always revealed in the choices we make whether conscious or unconscious. We must pay attention to the environments we find ourselves in, whether it be relationships, jobs, or actual physical environments. Then we must ask ourselves, 'how can I adapt my way of thinking, behaving, and seeing to best serve myself and others in this current environment?'

When we are unable to see things and people in a different light because we know what we know, like what we like and want what we want, we are unable to learn new things and develop broader tastes. We become static and cease to grow and adapt to the changing world around us. Life keeps moving and change keeps happening. We can have, do, be everything our hearts desire. Sometimes, however, what our hearts desire can no longer serve us in our changing environments. For instance, if a woman has always desired children but has yet to have them, there will come a time when her body changes her circumstances and creates the need to adapt...or adopt as the case may be. 

Rigid thinking has rarely led to discoveries, breakthroughs, miracles, or reconciliations. We must only be rigid in our discipline towards growth. Our physical, mental, and spiritual survival depend on our abilities to adapt to changes that will occur. As Chinese philosopher Xin Zi said, "The rigid cause themselves to be broken; the pliable cause themselves to be bound."