FEAR: (F)alse (E)vidence (A)ppearing (R)eal

Fear is a natural often healthy reaction usually to a negative situation. It's what tells us to leave a place before it becomes unsafe for us. We are usually able to deal with it with reason and logic. A phobia is an irrational fear. It can cause physical reactions that can be debilitating. I have claustrophobia and gephyrophobia (fear of crossing bridges). The claustrophobia I've had since I was a child. I'm pretty sure it stems from playing with a big brother who liked to torture me, but all is forgiven bro. Over the years, I've gotten much better with it and it doesn't impede my life. The "gephyrophobia," which until today I just called "a thing with bridges" has only been around since I started driving. Having moved to an area rife with bridges (8 of them!), this phobia threatened to prevent me from experiencing the joys of life, or cause me to move.

Let me explain to you what happens to me when I'm going over a bridge. First, I unconsciously squeeze the steering wheel until blood stops circulating (but I don't let go), then I start imagining the car stalling and cars crashing into me and then my car plummeting over the side. Once I can clear my  mind of those images, my chest gets tight and my breathing gets labored and I feel like I'm having an asthma attack. Sometimes I'll start to perspire and my head starts hurting, probably from lack of oxygen because I hold my breath until I get off of the bridge. Nevertheless, I have crossed three of those eight bridges since I've been here, and the one I crossed recently was the one I feared most, since I saw it collapse during an earthquake.

I'm proud of myself for facing this fear, but mostly, I am thankful that my Father the Mighty King gave me the strength to do it and then rewarded me with wonderful experiences. The biggest problem with fear is that it keeps you from experiencing and enjoying life. As debilitating as this phobia is, my fear of living an unfulfilled life trumped it because that fear had a reasonable solution: get over your phobia. We all fear something, whether we realize it or not. We may fear spiders, heights, failure, being alone. But fears are either irrational or easily remedied. We must not let fear keep us from pursuing the things that will bring us joy and fulfillment. That is no way to live.

So once I faced my fear that night (and I had to do it twice) I was  rewarded with a spiritually uplifting concert from Stephen Marley, and two new friends. Just the day before, I was overcome by feelings of isolation and loneliness and a need to experience culture and community. With this opportunity to eliminate those feelings and fulfill my needs, how could I let an irrational fear keep me in that sad place? Besides, fears negate my faith in the Most High to guide and protect me, and my Father the Mighty King deserves more respect and trust than that. I encourage you to face your fears and take a leap of faith. What you find on the other side will be well worth the jump.