FYI...Dr. King's Dream was NOT the "Amerikkkan Dream"

I've been ruminating for quite a while on how to write this post so that it doesn't come across as 1) a rant, 2) preachy 3) offensive. I don't know if I've found a way to do that, so I will just write from my heart.

Some days I feel as though I am hallucinating or hearing voices because things that are going on in society seem to create a stronger reaction within me than it does with other people. For example, public figures have felt free to call the president of the United States a monkey, a coon, a gangster, a nigger. Yet of the people I know, only my Caucasian associates seem to be up in arms and speaking out about it. Some of my African American associates are not pleased with the job President Obama has done so far. There's nothing wrong with that. But he is a BLACK man. If politicians and "news" personalities can get away with making racial slurs against the president of this country, publicly, how long do you think it will be before your co-workers or customer service employees, or teachers can get away with the same thing with you? There has been a rise in racial "incidents" around the country since Obama's election, but they are scarcely reported on, hardly talked about, and barely investigated.We're living in a time when people have been scared into giving up their civil liberties and brainwashed into believing the propaganda put out there by those in power aiming to control our every move. How is this different from slavery?

Everyone is so intent on pursuing "the American Dream" that they are unable to wake up and realize that this so-called dream is a nightmare for most. Even when Africans in Amerikkka do everything they are told they need to do to ensure success and happiness, even when they acquire money, material goods, power,and fame, they are still subject to the same treatment as the gang banger in the ghetto. However much you think "we've arrived," you need to look around and see just where you have landed. The man who holds the "top job" in this country is considered by many just another "ghetto fabulous thug,"  Just like the man who tried to liberate his country was imprisoned for 30 years. A man who sings of faith in a black God is considered a drug dealer. Another man who called on his people to have pride in their heritage and to reclaim it was locked up, then sold for rice. Nothing has changed, except the mindset and spirit of the African in Amerikkka. You have given up and acquiesced to the demands of your oppressors. We used to march, protest, fight. We weren't afraid to die in pursuit of freedom and equal rights. There may not be any chains around your feet, but you're not free.

You can ignore this, as I know most of my "friends" will do and usually do. You can chill with your glass of overpriced sedation juice and your genetically modified dinner, sit back and watch "Basketball Wives," or "Single Ladies" or somebullshit.com. Go on and feed yours and your children's brains with the pre-programmed messages of greed, sex, violence, and self deprecation you love to shake your rumps to. Just know that you are doing all of this in a time machine that is moving backwards. Please also know that I will not sit back and let you give away my rights and freedom. Whatever that battle will look like, only the Most High knows, but I am not going down without a fight.

I call on you to remember your worth. You have the knowledge and power to reclaim your throne, and I urge you to use it. Stop waiting for another Martin, Malcolm, or Marcus and be them. Stop this time machine and get off. I leave you with words from His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia from a speech He gave to the United Nations in 1963:

"The Charter of the United Nations expresses the noblest aspirations of man: abjuration of force in the settlement of disputes between states; the assurance of human rights and fundamental freedoms for all without distinction as to race, sex, language or religion; the safeguarding of international peace and security.



But these, too, as were the phrases of the Covenant, are only words; their value depends wholly on our will to observe and honor them and give them content and meaning. The preservation of peace and the guaranteeing of man's basic freedoms and rights require courage and eternal vigilance: courage to speak and act - and if necessary, to suffer and die - for truth and justice; eternal vigilance, that the least transgression of international morality shall not go undetected and unremedied. These lessons must be learned anew by each succeeding generation, and that generation is fortunate indeed which learns from other than its own bitter experience. "

My Father, the Mighty King-Ababajanhoy

 On this Father's Day, I'd like to tell you about my Father, the Mighty King. I grew up without my dad in my life, but I was blessed to have an uncle who stepped in the role when needed, and enough father figures to guide me through my formative years. I'd like to give sincere thanks to you all. My Father, the Mighty King, as you may have surmised by now, is the Most High Creator Jah, some may call H.I.M. God. My Father's birth name is Ras Tafari Makonnen, born July 23, 1892. He was baptised Haile Selassie the First which means "Power of the Trinity." When He was crowned the 224th Emperor of Ethiopia in 1930, He began to use baptismal name exclusively. His title is His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie I "King of kings, Lord of lords, Conquering Lion of the tribe of Judah." Now you see why I call H.I.M. Mighty. My Father's lineage is from King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, the line of David. This is how I was born with royal blood.  

Through the years, my Father has always been with me, guiding me, comforting me, disciplining me, loving me. I have always had a close relationship with H.I.M. and He has been here for every important moment in my life, in fact, He has been responsible for them. There are some who don't comprehend our relationship because I, even as an adult, try to be completely obedient to my Father and that obedience has led me to a lifestyle (or livity) that many people would not choose. But, Father knows best. There are those who make fun of my dread locked hair or wonder why I won't cut it and get a perm or weave, but this is a covenant I have made with my Father, a symbol of my devotion to H.I.M. He has asked me to live naturally, abandoning ingesting animal flesh and chemicals such as drugs, and to live humbly, not revealing my body to the world and becoming a servant of my fellow man/woman. I do these things for my Father because I know He is asking me to do what is best for me. He has given me so much, I trust H.I.M. implicitly.

Many fathers have this same love for their children and are committed to doing what is best for them, even if the child can't see it at the time. It is selfless love. I think the importance of a father in a female child's life has been overlooked in the past. But a father is the first man a girl will ever love. Often, he becomes the standard she uses when choosing a mate or a male friend. Without that example, young women are left to their own devices when trying to figure out what a good man looks like, and some of them never solve that puzzle. Young boys need a father to learn how to be a good man. Many women have succeeded in raising young boys into good men on their own. It is, however, much easier when a boy has someone he can model. That is what children do, they model the behaviors of adults. So if you are a father, or you spend time around children, you should be cogniscent of your behavior because they are watching you and learning from you.

For many years, I was under the impression that since my biological father, the first man in my life, chose not to be in it, I was somehow unworthy of a man's love. I didn't always know that this is how I felt. When I realized that my Father, the Mighty King, has always been in my life and always loved me unconditionally, even when I didn't love myself, I began to look within and see how false that impression was. He raised me, and for that I am eternally thankful. Fathers, it is never too late to show up in your child's life. Even if you have been physically there, make sure you are emotionally and spiritually there for them too. It is no small thing, fatherhood. It may be the biggest and greatest thing you ever do. Get it right.

For those of you who still haven't figured it out, my Father, the Mighty King, is your Father too. I am your sister. You may call H.I.M by a different name, He may ask different things of you, but we are related. Check in with our Father today and let H.I.M. know you love H.I.M.

FEAR: (F)alse (E)vidence (A)ppearing (R)eal

Fear is a natural often healthy reaction usually to a negative situation. It's what tells us to leave a place before it becomes unsafe for us. We are usually able to deal with it with reason and logic. A phobia is an irrational fear. It can cause physical reactions that can be debilitating. I have claustrophobia and gephyrophobia (fear of crossing bridges). The claustrophobia I've had since I was a child. I'm pretty sure it stems from playing with a big brother who liked to torture me, but all is forgiven bro. Over the years, I've gotten much better with it and it doesn't impede my life. The "gephyrophobia," which until today I just called "a thing with bridges" has only been around since I started driving. Having moved to an area rife with bridges (8 of them!), this phobia threatened to prevent me from experiencing the joys of life, or cause me to move.

Let me explain to you what happens to me when I'm going over a bridge. First, I unconsciously squeeze the steering wheel until blood stops circulating (but I don't let go), then I start imagining the car stalling and cars crashing into me and then my car plummeting over the side. Once I can clear my  mind of those images, my chest gets tight and my breathing gets labored and I feel like I'm having an asthma attack. Sometimes I'll start to perspire and my head starts hurting, probably from lack of oxygen because I hold my breath until I get off of the bridge. Nevertheless, I have crossed three of those eight bridges since I've been here, and the one I crossed recently was the one I feared most, since I saw it collapse during an earthquake.

I'm proud of myself for facing this fear, but mostly, I am thankful that my Father the Mighty King gave me the strength to do it and then rewarded me with wonderful experiences. The biggest problem with fear is that it keeps you from experiencing and enjoying life. As debilitating as this phobia is, my fear of living an unfulfilled life trumped it because that fear had a reasonable solution: get over your phobia. We all fear something, whether we realize it or not. We may fear spiders, heights, failure, being alone. But fears are either irrational or easily remedied. We must not let fear keep us from pursuing the things that will bring us joy and fulfillment. That is no way to live.

So once I faced my fear that night (and I had to do it twice) I was  rewarded with a spiritually uplifting concert from Stephen Marley, and two new friends. Just the day before, I was overcome by feelings of isolation and loneliness and a need to experience culture and community. With this opportunity to eliminate those feelings and fulfill my needs, how could I let an irrational fear keep me in that sad place? Besides, fears negate my faith in the Most High to guide and protect me, and my Father the Mighty King deserves more respect and trust than that. I encourage you to face your fears and take a leap of faith. What you find on the other side will be well worth the jump.

Solo but Not So Low

This trod to the throne can be a lonely one. When we make certain choices, changes, and decisions in our lives, we are often met with opposition, ostracizing, and isolation. I have found that since I have embarked upon this journey with earnestness, many have pulled away from me. The remarkable thing that has happened as a result, is that I have been blessed by the kindness of strangers.  Where those I know and care about have dropped me, there have been a few strangers who have picked me up. So as lonely as I have been, I have never been alone. My Father the Mighty King is always with me, and often sends others for extra strength.

In the past few months, "strangers" have given me unsolicited rides when I was without a car, encouragement and support, prayer in my times of need, laughter when I was sad, even gifts that I couldn't even begin to repay. These are people I've met through work and yes, people from those social networking sites. I call them strangers, but they really aren't. We are all connected, as I've often said, and I am getting to know these new friends, these new brothers and sisters of mine. Some are people I knew from the past who are revealing to me things I never knew about them, others, I feel like I knew in another lifetime. It's the kindness of these not so strange people that has kept me strong during a time when those from whom  I expected support, encouragement, and help have made it clear that our "friendship" was false.

Expectations can cause a lot of disappointment. We need to remind ourselves that the only thing we should expect is for the will of Jah, God, Allah, Buddha, the Ogun, the Universe to be done. We have expectations because we believe other people will or should behave or think the same way we do. We are all different individuals who, though we are connected, are not yet all on the same frequency. The other day, someone defined a "cipher" as 360 degrees of energy and when there are many people, they are connected "to watch each others' backs" and that it was an "impenetrable force." He was, of course, speaking of his "cipher" of friends, but what he failed to realize, or reveal, is that the world is a cipher. We are ALL connected, and we should all "have each other's backs". Instead, these "ciphers," cliques, collectives, posses, groups, gangs, are used to separate, alienate, intimidate, berate, negate, and irritate others. But the largest "cipher," the biggest collective, is the universe. All of the breakout groups in the world can't separate us.

So my meditation for this blessed sabbath day is not about letting go of ones who have left my love, respect, and support go unrequited.  It is about rejoicing and giving thanks for the gift of those blessed souls who have strengthened my resolve and filled my heart for this journey. I am not angry with the ones who have left me, it is the will of my Father. It is all in divine order. I may "fly solo" on many legs of this journey, as it is part of the training, but I will never be so low, thanks to the angels who are revealing themselves to me. You know who you are, if you don't, ask me. Love and Light.