The Ego Must Go

I've been meditating a lot the past few months on how to remove the ego from my focus. It's a tricky thing, the ego, because when one is cognizant of her thoughts and actions, one can see the ego is involved in a lot of what we do and think. The ego is defined as "the part of the psychic apparatus that experiences and reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id  and the demands of the social and physical environment." The id is defined as "the part of the pysche, residing in the unconscious, that is the source of instinctive impulses that  seek satisfaction in accordance with the pleasure principle and are modified by the ego and the superego before they are given overt expression."*

In other words, the ego is self image (conscious) and the id is instinct (unconscious). Almost every move people make is to satisfy the ego which is never satisfied and only considers self. Most people don't know how to attain success or even pursue passions without the ego at the helm motivating and driving them. But the ego is greedy and mean. Once it gets what it wants, it only wants more. If it doesn't get what it wants, it leaves you feeling hurt and worthless as a tactic to go get more.

Even love is tricky. Although it is natural to love and want to be loved, we often experience pain, rejection, and other lower energy emotions because of the ego's insistence on being loved. I've learned (not entirely by choice) that we should be content with loving others regardless of whether the love is returned the same way because that is what we are here for. But that ego has us doing all sorts of things for love. It makes us partial, reticent, judgemental, and inauthentic. The ego is what makes love difficult.

Many people feel the ego helps them strive for greatness. But if the ego is always concerned with image, how can one truly be themselves? If they are not themselves, then it is really them achieving greatness? I've found myself on the bad side of my ego because I wouldn't give in to it. I choose to try to be my authentic self, to listen to the id, but when I meet resistance, the ego comes rushing in with it's negative energy to throw me a pity party.

I often wonder how some people can't feel the connection, our oneness. Although we are connected, one body, we have different parts to play. We've all been so conditioned to be like everyone else and "fit in" that we ignore who we are and our purpose in this connection. It is a daily challenge to remove my ego from my consciousness. But if I am to let positive energy rule my life, I must...we all must. Oneness and love.

*dictionary.com

Groundation: The Prequal

I'm getting excited as my "reunion" with Groundation (my favorite roots reggae band...if you didn't know) is coming up in seven days. I know I've mentioned them a lot in my blogs, but it's because their music has had a profound effect on my life. I can't really say that about many artists' music. I will say that their music's effect  on me was akin to Bob Marley's.

Groundation fell into my lap out of nowhere. I had only heard one song, "Groundation Chant," on my Bob Marley station on Pandora.  The first thing that got my attention was the one two beat of the drum that I've heard so often at Nyahbinghi* gatherings. Then I heard the words "Please believe me when I say, there will come a day when everyone shall see unification." Now, I tell you, at this particular point in my life, I felt like everyone around me was bent on separating and distancing themselves from one another, so they had me at "unification." This is conscious music that uplifts...a rare commodity these days.

A few months later, I saw them for the first time at the Raggamuffin Festival, which is a Bob Marley celebration in the Los Angeles area. I admit, I was a little skeptical at first because I had only heard the one song, and not everyone can do Bob Marley justice. Those of you who are Bob Marley fans know that there is nothing worse than someone destroying one of his songs. Nevertheless, I was front and center ready to give them a chance. I was encouraged (and impressed) when I saw Leroy "Horsemouth" Wallace sitting on drums. Mr. Wallace has played with many of the great reggae artists and was in the movie "Rockers."

Mr. Wallace boosted my confidence in the group, but they still had to play Bob's music. I was surprised (and relieved) at the musicianship of the band. The music was as tight and clean as a recording. Harrison Stafford delivered the tunes in his own personal style without muddying up the original sound. You see, that's where many artists go wrong when singing Bob Marley's songs. They want to put so much of their own personal touch that the songs don't sound the same...or the musicians just don't play very well. The only disappointment of the performance was that it was too short. It was, however, a festival with other artists still to perform including Bob Marley's son Stephen.

It will be a treat to be able to hear Groundation perform more of The Legend's songs, and some of their own, including songs from their album to be released in March. I love being able to chill with this great group of people...but the music is the thing. It's like I'm plugging myself in and I'm fully charged and renewed when I leave. I'm going to try to blog after each show. Perhaps Mr. Stafford will even bless me with a short interview? (Are you reading this Harrison? Someone forward this to him please) If you're in northern or southern California, I hope you decide to see a show so you can experience what I'm trying to express. You can see the schedule here. For those of you wondering, no, I don't work for them...yet.  More to come...Love, light, and

music.

*A Rastafari spiritual gathering with drumming and chanting

Forward Movements

The Akan people of West Africa have a saying, "Se wo were fi na wosan kofa a, yenkyi," which literally translated means "There is nothing wrong with learning from hindsight." The Sankofa bird is the symbol for this aphorism. The word SANKOFA is derived from the words SAN (return), KO (go), FA (look, seek and take). The symbol is based on a mythical bird that flies forward with its head turned backwards. This reflects the Akan belief that the past serves as a guide for planning the future, or the wisdom in learning from the past in building the future. Most of us, however, when looking back at the past tend to dwell on what could have been.

Sometimes things, words, or events trigger memories that pull us back into the past and threaten to saddle us with regret. We start in with what we shoulda, coulda, woulda done. What we forget in those moments is that what could have been would have been if it should have been. When we reminisce over past loves, friendships, or jobs, we often forget what caused us to leave the situation in the first place.

Remembering the past is not a bad thing, especially if we glean lessons from it. But the past is not what drives us into the future. It is our energy in the present moment that propels us forward. It is no coincidence that the word moment is derived from the latin word momentum which means cause of motion. The past stays where it is, so it cannot push us forward.

We can, however, bring wisdom and lessons from the past with us. What did we learn about ourselves, the world, or human nature that we can use in the present moment to drive us into the future. Think of it in terms of a car. If in the past you had a car that overheated and you poured cold water into it while it was hot  causing it to crack the engine block, I bet you'd take that lesson with you to the next vehicle. That's how we should live our lives.

If you don't know or have forgotten the lessons of the past, be like the Sankofa bird, turn your head back and pick the jewels of wisdom up all while still flying forward. There's a saying, "When one door closes, another opens," but you can't walk through the next door if you are walking backwards towards the closed one. Love, light, and forward movements.

The Child Inside

Children have been on my mind and in my world a lot lately. I love children because they are so free, sweet, playful, loving, and honest. It's no wonder I have chosen to build my life's work around them. People often ignore them and their needs because they can't see how much more they know about the important things in life than we give them credit for knowing. Perhaps it's because children readily reveal their true emotions and feelings that adults deem them irrelevant. The truth is, children tell the world what adults keep hidden even from themselves. As I observe these small people expressing fear, pain, discomfort, and even joy, I recognize aspects of the child within us that we adults conceal.

Many of us carry emotions around which may have developed back in childhood, but we have been taught to bury. This is especially obvious with men because they were told that "big boys don't cry" or "real men don't show emotion." Women also learn that they must be "tough" in order to be successful yet "demure" so as to attract a man. Most of us are unable to be as free and honest as children are and this can often hinder the development of real connections and relationships, even with ourselves.

I find myself wondering how many of us recognize that much of our behavior as adults stem from events that occurred in our "formative years" or earlier. Formative is defined as sensitive or impressionable, capable of forming new cells, and that includes the brain. There's a sensitive child still living in all of us, and what we experienced during childhood still effects us today.

Children are uninhibited and get to be exactly who they are without judgement... until they reach a certain age. Then adults begin to tell them that they can no longer behave certain ways because they are "big boys or girls." If these little ones knew how stifling this could become as an adult, they might just rebel and refuse to grow up like Peter Pan. How confusing these messages must be to them. We tell them that honesty is the best policy, but they can't be honest about who they are and what they feel if it doesn't match the status quo.

I think we should reintroduce ourselves to the children inside of us and decide to unchain all that we've locked up. We should let go of all of the pain, rejection, humiliation, feelings of abandonment and disappointment that torture us, and allow the uninhibited, fun, playful, loving, sweet, and honest child to reveal herself. Some of you may think you don't have children, but there's one in all of us. Set him free. Love and light.

Fearlessness vs. Faith: Resolved by MLK

This is a piece I wrote a while back, but I never posted it because I was unable to draw a conclusion. Today, one came to me...

I've heard people talk about being fearless as though it were the ultimate accomplishment. I've heard others talking about faith as though it was all that was needed. I started pondering the difference between the two and which one was more beneficial. I know I have faith, but am I fearless? Thefreedicionary.com defines fearless as follows: without fear, brave, oblivious of dangers or perils or calmly resolute in facing them. It defines faith as : confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing, a strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence.  So both deal with the unknown. Being fearless requires being resolute which is defined as such : firm in purpose or belief; steadfast. Hmmm, faith speaks of having "strong or  unshakable belief." They seem similar, but are they the same?

Fearlessness requires bravery which is defined as possessing or displaying courage. Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear." Faith calls for one to have a strong belief. This is usually associated with religion, a belief in a higher power, but it is not limited to religion. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." Now that's unshakable belief! I've come back to this piece a few times, not sure where I was going, until I read Dr. King's quote, on this day which we have chosen to celebrate him.

Did you know that Dr. King never wanted to be the leader of the civil rights movement? He studied theology with the intention to become a preacher. It was when he was asked to join, and eventually lead, the Montgomery Bus Boycott that his purpose started becoming clear. He had much trepidation about taking on this role. He knew, after all, the dangers and repercussions of doing so. But Dr. King was a man of great faith. He knew a stair would appear with each step.

 

Some may not agree with Dr. King's methods, or even his ideology. One does, however, have to respect the man for taking a role that made him a shield for those who backed them. The arrows hit him first. He was arrested 30 times during the civil rights movement. He made himself vulnerable in order to strengthen the lives of the people.

We have opportunities to make ourselves vulnerable and step out on faith daily. We share our views and opinions, we apply for jobs, go on dates. When we try to make connections of any kind with our fellow humans whether with family, friends, or romantically, we make ourselves vulnerable, and step out on faith. What if we step out on faith to do what is right and good for all, even if we have fear? Dr. King made many sacrifices for humanity, even in the face of danger. I give thanks for the sacrifices and the lessons on faith. Love and light.

Don't Get In Too Deep

This post will be my 100th, and I thought it fitting to write about something that has been on my mind for a long time now, your health. Last year we saw quite a few celebrities pass away way too young. With this year barely started, I've seen a couple of friends and/or their loved ones have health issues or health scares. As I see all of these stories about the famous and the un-famous, I also see laced between them pictures of fatty, sugary, unhealthy mounds of food and cocktails overflowing from other friends. It concerns me because I know where that lifestyle leads.

I have hesitated to write this post because I have already experienced the reaction to the suggestion that what most people eat these days will kill them. I am, however, writing from first hand knowledge. I became vegan 3 1/2 years ago because the food I was eating turned my body against me. Here I was well into adulthood having my first surgery. Was it easy to become vegan? Absolutely not. Is it easier now? No. Was it worth it? Definitely. I'm much healthier, more energetic, and losing weight still. But I'm not even pushing veganism, although the planet would benefit greatly if we were all on a plant based diet.

The fast food industry is booming, even in this declining economy. Most of what goes into those "foods" either isn't food at all, or is highly toxic to the body. Non organic meat comes from animals that are fed hormones, non organic produce is laced with poisonous pesticides. Have you ever read a label on the packaged and processed foods you buy? Even foods labeled "all natural" are anything but. It's difficult to avoid harmful additives and chemicals when you try. When you don't try, you're killing yourself slowly.

If you could just challenge yourself to stay away from fast foods, eat organic meat, fruits, and vegetables, curb the fried foods, sweets and alcohol, and move your body for 30 minutes a day, you would be healthier. . I want to see my loved ones (which are all of you) healthy and happy. Investigate what you ingest, limit your splurges, and preserve the vessel that is carrying your spirit. Love, light, and good health.

Social Networking: An obstacle to intimacy?

Social Networking has become the primary form of communication and in many cases socializing for most people. I won't deny that it has it's benefits. It is a good way to keep in touch with family and friends who are far away, you can meet people you otherwise wouldn't have the opportunity to meet, and it has become a great way to disseminate information. The downside, however, is that it has managed to distance us from one another. Although social networking has put us all in contact with one another, I find that real connections are not made or are weakened.

People can be whomever they choose on these sites and so one doesn't always get to know the real person behind the profile. Rarely does one get significant insight into a person in 140 characters or status updates. Now, there are even sayings, cartoons, and pictures one can post so they don't even have to use their own words. Some broadcast more information than is needed, but even then, that is only part of who that person is. In all actuality, what we get from each other is the "persona" we create for social networking, not the person we really are.

Face to face communication provides more cues for better understanding and connection than does social networking, texting, tweeting, emailing, or even phone conversations. When communicating face to face, you don't just have words, but you have the voice which conveys tone, inflection, and volume. There's also facial expressions like a smile, frown, raised eyebrows, etc. that aid in delivering a message. Let's not forget body language which is particularly telling. One's words may say one thing, but their body language can tell an entirely different story. We also have to consider the environment you're in. Noises, smells, likes and dislikes can give clues about a person and can effect how they communicate. All of the emoticons in the world can't replace these cues.

It's nice to see people send prayers and words of encouragement to their "friends" when they are going through trials. But what if what the person needs is a shoulder to cry on, a hug, or an ear to listen to things they'd rather not tell to the world? Even joyful news is best celebrated in person among family and friends. There are people whose physical presence resonate so profoundly within me that I feel immediately connected to them without them having spoken a word. It's a feeling that I rarely get online.

I'm not condemning social networking, texting, or emailing. I am advocating a return to real personal connections. See the person not the persona, be the person, not the persona. There are enough obstacles to intimacy (intimacy being defined as : a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group) and togetherness. Social networking is great for making contact, face to face is best for making connections. Love and light.