Queen

Queen

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Uncle

When someone passes away, people say, "I'm sorry for your loss." It is slowly but surely being revealed to me that it is not a loss, rather a gain. Unfortunately for most of us, it is a gain of some things we most surely would have benefited from recognizing and appreciating while our loved one was still here.

My uncle recently passed, and I feel compelled to honor him in some way. Please do not mistake this post for that, as it is not nearly sufficient enough to do him justice. My uncle was a quiet man of clear strength mentally, physically and emotionally. He was not known to use a lot of words, but his actions, the way he lived his life spoke volumes. There was no doubt that he loved his family as he often showed by being there for their every need. I can't imagine that anyone who met him had anything less than respect and love for him. There was a silent sweetness about my uncle that drew ones into him.

My brother and I used to say that my uncle walked softly but carried a big stick. He had the ability to charm with the same quiet strength he used to correct. He was the most significant male figure in my life, and I only now realize that he was the example the Most High gave me of the type of man I should choose as a mate. I missed this, somehow, believing that I had missed out on the father/daughter experience, when all the while, the uncle/niece experience was even more beneficial.

He treated me like a princess; spoiling me with parties and gifts, rewarding me for A's, and being there for every significant event in my life. He wasn't overly demonstrative, or demonstrative at all for that matter, neither was he pejorative. He loved in deed, and one moment of sternness was all that was needed (although I admit, he saved most of that for my brother). I remember that he always came for Sunday dinner and would watch westerns afterwards. I would sit at his feet and color or read, because westerns were boring, but I loved my uncle. Then, one day, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" came on. At first it was Enio Morricone's soundtrack that drew my attention. But I soon became drawn in by the "Man With No Name" and his ability to strike fear with a single look in a scene that seemed to go on forever with no dialogue. The Good, Clint Eastwood's character, spoke few words, but commanded much respect...my uncle in a nutshell.

When I think about my uncle's life, I realize that while he was here, he was a living example of a good man. He chose a wife who honored and loved him and his family as her own. He easily embraced her family, and he worked hard and made the sacrifices necessary to provide for her and their son. Looking at the man my cousin has become today, it is clear that my uncle's good character, sweetness, and quiet strength has been passed down to another generation. I will strive for these same qualities as well as surround myself with like people, and in that way, honor my beloved uncle.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Higher Power

Sometimes I wonder how people who don't believe in a higher power of any sort manage to get through difficult times or even the little day to day mishaps. If they seem happy, I really wonder what they do to get through. My faith is sometimes the only thing that gets me through these times.

We are all saddled with so many burdens these days. Life can seem oppressive. lonely, and overwhelming. People seem to float silently in their own little bubbles, concerned only with what affects them. We forget about each other...that we are put here for each other. It's a comfort to me to know that there is something bigger than myself, a higher energy, or energies, that I can call on for strength.

These energies are often in the form of like minds and hearts, some of whom we have never or will never meet. who are vibrating, or thinking and feeling on the same wave length. My Father, the Mighty King (as I call H.I.M.) has shown me hope, given me strength, and provided me with the tools to gather and use that strength. To those "non-believers" this may sound obtuse, but I am thankful for the resilient spirit having faith in goodness has created.

In my opinion, even when two gather and have reasonable discourse about good in the universe with the purpose of understanding and being better, that, in itself, is a higher power. Any good we even think about is a higher power...if good is being defined as that which helps and doesn't harm.

I write this at the end of a long day filled with doubt, unfulfilled dreams, hard news, and no shoulder to cry on. I am struggling to cope with that which I cannot control or understand...yet. Still, I have writing, music, and hope...for that I am thankful.