Whose Reality is it Anyway?

Someone once called me "naive" for having (what I believe to be) a reasonable expectation for people to treat each other with basic human decency and respect...to at least do unto others as they would want done unto them. The most vexing thing about this comment towards me was that it came from the wife of a "spiritual leader." I wondered what I wasn't getting.


I know a lot of people believe that the 'reality' is that people will behave in self-serving, materialistic, and sometimes hanus ways and that is what we should expect. But whose 'reality' are we talking about, and what is 'reality' anyway? I began to ponder 'reality' and what it really means. I mean, an impoverished person in the United States certainly has a different 'reality' than an impoverished person say in Somalia or the Sahel Region.  The reality of how I see myself and who I see myself to be may be different than how others perceive me. This thought is really what sent me on my quest.


Deepak Chopra explained that there is "perceptual reality," which is each person's experience of the universe. Perceptual reality is influence by history, environment, and cultural and social norms. In essence, it's how we perceive things as individuals. He went on to say the the "ultimate reality" is the field of infinite possibilities, the potential for these 'realities.' He states that our 'perceptual realities' change in different states of consciousness.(see link below)

Lately, I have been struggling between this idea of my "naivete' " and this 'reality' that is suppose to protect me from pain.  If I succumb to this 'reality,' would it  mean losing my ability to trust, not caring, and living a solitary life? Sure, I might protect myself from pain...but wouldn't I also prevent myself from feeling pleasure? It's like the song says, "Joy and pain is like sunshine and rain." I'm not ready to give up the sunshine.


So I guess this is where forgiveness enters. It is said that forgiveness benefits the "forgiver" much more that the "forgiven." It brings about healing and peace...it's a load off of our shoulders. I'm reminded of  one of my favorite quotes by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 

 "Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be."

Imagine that when we forgive, we give a person the opportunity to make amends, try again, do better, be better. When we forgive, we are in effect saying, "I realize you made a mistake...I know you can do better." What a gift that is. 


My grandmother always said, "Baby, if you look for trouble, you will find it." It stands to reason, then, that if I look for good, I will find it. I've concluded that I will stick to my "naivete'," shift my consciousness, and continue to expect the best from people. Peace and Blessings, Love and Light.

Happy New Year...Why Not

Spring and summer are my favorite times of year. When spring arrives, the sun invites us out to play by warming up nature, and colors seem to manifest from nowhere in the form of flowers and foliage.  It is like a new beginning of nature's cycle. Summer is like a celebration. Most people take vacations as a way of relaxation or exploration. It reminds me of my childhood when summer marked the end of a school year and the beginning of carefree living, limitless fun, and enumerable new experiences. It was also a time when many children experienced growth spurts or puberty.


Spring, for me is like the beginning of a love affair. You feel warm and fuzzy inside, everything is beautiful, and the excitement is in the potential of the pending blooms. Summer arrives and the love affair heats up and is in full bloom. Every sense is activated. The sun kisses your skin, sweet juicy fruits tantalize your palettes, the sound of children laughing and playing trigger memories, the smell of veggies (ok burgers) grilling wafts through your neighborhood, and the sight of crystal blue seas on your tropical vacation soothes your spirit.


Both of these seasons feel like the beginning of a new year for me when they arrive. I've often wondered why    a date during one of these seasons wasn't designated as the start of a new year. It's all pretty random the way we package up "time" into manageable containers. The Ethiopian calendar marks September 11 as the new year, and the Chinese calendar has a different date in January or February every year to celebrate a new year. January 1 never really feels like a new beginning to me. It's part of the "holiday season" coming right after Christmas/Hanukkah the year before and in the middle of Kwanzaa. The weather is pretty much the same as the year before. It just seems like more of the same.


Really, we can choose our own personal new year...and we can have more than one. We can choose any month, day, or minute to begin anew.  When we feel the most energized, joyful, or excited about ourselves or life, we can choose that moment to go forth and explore or create new opportunities to expand our knowledge, skills, consciousness, whatever appeals to us. Or, maybe we can choose that moment to become energized, joyful, or excited. When you catch yourself feeling like you're in a rut, perhaps it's time for a new year.  Feel fed up? No worries, the new year is here! It's never too late to make new discoveries, navigate new waters, or build new bridges. Life started a long time ago...but you can choose when to start living. Happy New Year! Peace and blessings.

Homemade Summer Camp

Is your house the "Kool Aid House" this summer?  Many cannot afford to pay for summer camps or programs or maybe they are inaccessible to you. I thought I would put my years of experience working with youth to good use for those of you who may have a house or yard full of children this summer. I have put together some tried and true activities to keep children busy both mentally and physically. If you have neighborhood youth joining you, be sure to ask their parents for any assistance you may need in keeping them busy.

Last summer I did a program I called “Around the World.” Each day had a theme with a craft and a country/region specific snack. These are some of the projects the youth loved most: A few simple Crafts projects African Drum http://www.kinderart.com/multic/cofdrum.shtml A fairly simple explanation of the significance of the drum in Africa http://www.ehow.com/about_5390317_african-drums-used.html African Mask http://www.kinderart.com/multic/cpapermask.shtml A fairly simple explanation of the significance of the mask in Africa http://www.ehow.com/about_5375865_history-meaning-african-masks.html Chinese Dragon http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/chinesenewyear/lion/ Significance of the dragon in Chinese Culture http://www.ehow.com/facts_5683220_meaning-dragons-chinese-culture_.html Chinese Lantern http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/chinesenewyear/lantern/ Mandala Coloring Pages- Kids LOVE coloring these…and it calms them down! http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=mandala+coloring+pages&qpvt=mandala+coloring+pages&FORM=IGRE Mandala explanation http://www.craftsinindia.com/indian-art-culture/buddha-mandalas.html Native American Rain Stick http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/music/rainstick/ The History of Rain sticks http://www.ehow.com/about_5367730_history-rain-stick.html Pinata http://www.enchantedlearning.com/crafts/mexico/bagpinata/ The History of Pinatas http://www.ehow.com/about_5465011_history-pinatas.html Cool Easy Science Experiments Oil and Water http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/oilandwater.html Blowing up a Balloon with CO2 http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/inflatingballoons.html Tornado in a Bottle http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/makeatornado.html Plant Seeds and Watch them Grow http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/seedgermination.html Lava Lamp http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments/easylavalamp.html Fun Games-Don’t forget prizes! Prizes can be popsicles, ice cream cones, or 99cent store toys. Freeze Dance Works best with groups of 4 or more: Tools Needed: Boom box, fun upbeat music, space to dance How to play: Choose someone to operate boom box, play music and have the children dance (they should dance as fast as the rhythm of the music) The operator chooses a moment to pause music and the dancers must freeze in the last position they danced in. Whoever is still moving is out. Have players who get out help find other moving players Grab the Flag: Tools Needed: A handkerchief/piece of material for each child, space to run How to play: Have each child tuck the cloth in his/her back pocket or waste band. Players must try to grab the cloth from other player’s pockets/wastes without getting their own grabbed. Once a player’s cloth is grabbed, they can try to grab other player’s cloths, if they get it, they get all the cloth the player is holding. Last player left standing wins. Water Games http://www.best-kids-games-online.com/outdoor-water-games.html Cooking Easy Nutritional Snacks Kids can make http://www.modernmom.com/article/10-easy-snacks-that-kids-can-make Parfaits http://www.ehow.com/info_8217606_yogurt-parfaits-kids.html Ice Cream in a Bag! http://crafts.kaboose.com/ice-cream-in-a-bag.html Field Trips -Places like museums and aquariums often have free or discounted days for children…check your local listings. -Amusement parks are always fun…make sure you have adult help….bringing your own lunch saves on costs. -The beach is always fun and inexpensive on a summer day…make sure you have adult help…make sure you know which kids are not strong swimmers and stick with them in the water -Parks are fun, free, and accessable…make use of your neighborhood park. Have fun and be safe! Love and Light.

Pondering Our Existence

Since the beginning of man, there has been a need to clarify our existence and the existence of life around us. The questions of where we came from and why have been the subjects of debates, often heated, among scientists, philosophers, religious and spiritual leaders.


There are creation, evolution, and big bang theories that seek to prove man's and the world's origin, but all, in fact, fail to do so completely. Perhaps that is because these postulations are based on one element; science or religion, rather than a combination of all the above perspectives.



Creationists believe in a god who is absolute creator of heaven and earth, out of nothing, by an act of free will.  The evolution theory is a scientific theory that populations evolve over the course of generations through a process of natural selection*


Some theories challenge our existence altogether. Based on a philosophy of subjective idealism, metaphysical solipsists maintain that the self is the only existing reality and that all other reality, including the external world and other persons, are representations of that self, and have no independent existence.**


While it is good to know from whence we came and why, scientific, philosophical, and religious/spiritual perspectives are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Separating these perspectives only serves to separate us as beings who are emanated from the same source, whatever or wherever that may be. Scientist like Copernicus, Galileo, Kepler, and Descartes, were also philosophers who believed in a higher power.***


Mankind is so focused on unraveling the great mysteries of life that they miss the great miracles of life...life itself being one of them.  I no longer debate the existence of a higher power with ones who don't believe in one. The fact of the matter is, though they believe there is no conclusive proof of  the existence of a higher power, there is also no conclusive proof that one does not exist.


 In my humble opinion, the mere existence of so many unknowns and our inability to trace our beginnings to a specific source, is proof that there is something greater than ourselves...even if it's greatness comes only from the ability to remain beyond our reach and scope of  understanding.


Perhaps we may be better served by pondering the question, 'We're here...now what?' What are we here to do? Regardless of what our beginnings are or our original purpose for coming into being is/was, it is clear that a peaceful existence is optimal...but we are a long ways from that. Rather than debate where we came from, let's discuss where we're going. Love and light.

*(Charles Darwin's "survival of the fittest" does not mean the one who is in the best physical condition will survive. In population genetics, "Fitness" does not refer to whether an individual is "physically fit" – bigger, faster or stronger – or "better" in any subjective sense. It refers to a difference in reproductive rate from one generation to the next. In other words, "he who adapts best to his environment has the better chance to survive.)


**http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism


***http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/sciencefaith.html