In Defense of Children

Do you ever reminisce on your childhood? What memories come to mind? Do you think back on waking up at 7 a.m. during the summer (when you had to be dragged out of bed during the school year) eating a bowl of sugary cereal, then putting on your play clothes to go out for a full day of hard core playing? You ran fast and often, paid no attention to dirt or your noise level, invented games, laughed at everything, and then sprinted like Usain Bolt to make it into the house before the street lights came on, lest you face the rod that would not be spared. Maybe you recall comforting home cooked meals that lined your belly nightly...food so lovingly and skillfully prepared you even ate the vegetables!


Remember family vacations to visit relatives who adored and doted on you, with cousins that were your best friends for a couple of weeks? How about when your family showed up to every activity you participated in and cheered like you won an Oscar? Then there was the look your mom had that invoked the fear of God in you when you even thought about misbehaving in public. Or the way you couldn't get away with anything in the neighborhood because your good neighbors would admonish you and then tell your mom! No notes sent home from school were ever hidden from your parents more than once because they always found out and there was always a penalty to pay. Coaches and teachers were extended family in that they gave love, encouragement, discipline, advice and comfort as though there was an unwritten pact with your parents to guide you.


These are fond memories that some of you may do your best to give to your own children. But things are different today. Many children go to bed hungry only to wake up and go to school hungry. Some face perilous obstacles just to get to and from school. Even school isn't safe these days because the teachers and coaches are no longer allies, but adversaries. Children are bombarded with media targeting them and these images and messages erase their innocence and put their minds in a time machine often leaving their bodies, including their underdeveloped brains behind.  People used to believe the children are our future...now they seem to think they are a nuisance, our downfall, or objects to use and misuse as they please.


I've heard a lot of comments lately about hating or disliking children because of their behavior. I always say there are no "bad" children only children who need guidance. The fact of the matter is, a child's behavior is a direct reflection on the guidance they receive or lack thereof. It is also often the only way a child can express discontent...acting out if you will, because they haven't learned how or are too afraid to express their feelings or needs. So it really bothers me when adults badmouth children instead of redirecting them to better behavior. "It's not my child" is not a valid excuse, especially when your own childhood was rife with a village full of  parental figures.


Society has become lax on protecting our children. Teachers have become too frustrated with the lack of support and funding in education to care. Parents are too busy thinking about their own pleasures or needs, and poverty and crime  has been allowed to get out of hand. Yet, we admonish the children for crying out from the pain of having to suffer these circumstances.  Years ago in a training I heard this story  ("A Teacher's Story") that really gave me the best perspective when dealing with youth. I encourage all, especially teachers and others who work with children to read it. If you don't read it, or it doesn't ignite compassion within you...remember your own childhood and wish that for all children. Peace and blessings.