Love

Some people are very fortunate to find another with whom to share their love, life, time, thoughts, space, and hearts. A small percentage of these people actually recognize the miracle that has occurred. It seems difficult to find others who vibrate on or near the same frequency as ours, but usually, we create those difficulties ourselves.

Others are still searching the far corners of the earth, often with something or someone specific in mind who will fulfill their hearts' desires and make them feel whole. Truth is, there is love all around us all the time, and we were born whole. What is it that keeps us searching for what is right in front of us? I've often thought that the media plays a large part in blinding us from real love. But with further thought, I recognize that these distractions have been around longer than technology. 

If we take a look at fairy tales, poetry, and plays like Shakespeare's, we can see the fantasy of the perfect mate showing up setting off fireworks while riding in on a white horse has been around for ages. There was a time when we chose a mate for his ability to hunt and protect or her ability to bear children and make a home. It seemed that the assumption was that if we took care of each other, that was love. I don't want to generalize and stereotype the different things men and women seem to be looking for in a mate, but I will say that we waste a lot of time in the search.

I've pondered for a long time whether or not everyone is meant to be paired up. After all, not everyone made the journey on the ark. In contemplating a life un-mated, I've learned not only how to love without expecting love in return, but also how to see love in all the different faces I encounter on my journey. To some, this may sound depressing or negative, but I find it freeing...most times.  When one is able to just love, that love grows inside you and happiness blossoms. Those blooms are noticeable and draws people into you.

I can see small acts of love that others take for granted, and I can feel huge waves of love that some try to hide. When you choose to simply love, love reveals itself to you in all its different disguises as though you've won a game of hide and seek. You are never without love, and therefore never have to seek it. For those of you looking for love, it's right in front of you. For those of you who have found love...don't lose it. Love and light.

Queen in Retrograde

I woke up in a fantastic mood this morning. I was refreshed. I had a stimulating conversation with a co-worker before I started work, and I finally dressed in the right combination of layers for the transition from early morning freeze to afternoon Indian Summer. But around 9:25, old Merc started moving backwards...and took me with him! All day today, I had to restart projects I have been working on for the past week. I seemed to be in high demand from everyone, and there was, of course, the daily afternoon extremely amateur metal concert.

But I did not lose hope. I played my uplifting music and I decided to deploy one of my secret emergency weapons. I knew if I could ingest some form of hot, salty, fried potato product, I could make it through the day. An angel volunteered to fetch some for me and the anticipation of sweet (salty) relief washed over me. The day looked brighter as I saw her return with bags in her hands. But then she uttered words that sounded like a foreign language to me, "they were all out." That's when I knew. I didn't even have to do an internet search. Mercury is in retrograde. 

RETROGRADE: Moving backward; having a backward motion or direction; retiring or retreating.
2. inverse or reversed, as order.
Astronomy
a.
moving in an orbit in the direction opposite to that of the earth in its revolution around the sun.
b.
appearing to move on the celestial sphere in the direction opposite to the natural order of the signs of the zodiac, or from east to west.

I had to look up retrograde to see exactly what was happening to me today. I don't claim to understand all of the astrology aspects of the word, but once someone told me that all of the things that were out of wack some days were a result of Mercury being in retrograde, every time I have a day like today I assume that is the cause (today I guessed correctly). 

It doesn't seem to matter if I know it's coming or not, or if I have explicit details as to what it means. I always feel powerless against it and just settle in for the ride. Apparently, the retrograde being in Scorpio means diving inward to discover my "dark side" and hidden secrets. But I don't even have the strength to deal with all of that. So I just kept moving backwards in order to move forward. I'm a forward ever backward never kind of queen, so this was very uncomfortable for me. But as I learned today, sometimes the universe has its own way of telling you to do a better job.

I pulled out my tried and true weapon, a much healthier choice, brother Bob. I played Bob Marley's Three Little Birds three times back to back and then just listened to a Bob Marley medley for the rest of the day. I reached out to a friend who ALWAYS makes me smile, and I did. On the way home, I stopped by the grocery store and found a vegan gluten free dark chocolate cookie (more like a brownie) and it was AWEsooommmme! So retrograde that Mercury! A hot shower, a cup of tea, and a new start tomorrow. I give thanks. Forward ever. Blessings.

Disconnected

Recently, I had problems with my Internet connection for several days. It turns out there was a "leak in the signal" which was causing intermittent disruptions in the connection.  I found this amusing as I thought the Internet has been causing intermittent disruptions in my personal connections for a while. A woman once told me that my tarot card was "the lovers" which meant I place value on relationships with others for success and happiness. I don't give much credence to tarot, but she was a bit on the money with this analysis.

I've always believed that how we relate to one another will determine our mutual success and happiness. We are connected at the very least in a "butterfly effect" kind of way. The ego, being so powerful, masks this connection and causes solitary behavior, thus shrinking the meaning and possibilities of our existence. Technology only throws another monkey wrench into the situation.

Friendships are now defined by "likes," "follows," "tags," and "@ mentions." The amount of effort needed to maintain a "friendship" is now down to a mouse click, yet those mouse clicks carry more value than actual face time. Have you ever smiled or gotten excited when certain people like your status/picture? Has an @mention ever made you feel closer to someone....even someone you've never met? Social media now determines how "connected" we are to each other. A few times I have called some friends on the phone and they didn't answer. I left messages for them on facebook and they immediately replied. Perhaps to them, replying on facebook so quickly was proof that they are my true friends....so was I not supposed to be offended that they didn't answer my call?

Now I know that some people say that "smart phone" technology enables them to connect immediately via social networking when they are too busy to answer calls or meet for coffee. But is it enabling them to connect in this manner or causing a need to connect this way? I mean, why are we busier now than we were before "smart phones" or facebook, or twitter? What did we do prior to cell phones?

I remember a time when I would spend hours on the phone or in person chatting to friends when I was distraught over a break up, losing a loved one, being laid off, or some other crisis. Now if I need consoling, I have to share my news with 387 of my "closest friends" just to get a "like" or heart emoticon.  I have a collection of cards and letters from friends for my birthday or when they were abroad....none recently. I remember spending hours with friends cooking a meal together, eating, drinking, laughing, sometimes crying. Those days seem to be gone. I'm not blameless in this. I too have acquiesced to today's way of connecting. It has, however, left me feeling lonely and longing for simpler tech-free times. 

Studies have shown that hugs, having someone to count on, and time spent outdoors and with loved ones raises ones' life expectancy and overall happiness. How are we getting this done online? Our expectations from relationships have been lowered, but have our needs? How do we really know how our loved ones are doing? Does a picture from a party tell us they are happy and healthy? Is a "like" sufficient support for our friends? In times of crisis, will any of your online friends go beyond a comment or philosophical meme to help? Will they even know you are in crisis? I say there is a "leak in the signal" causing intermittent disruption in our connections. We need to consciously power down our gadgets and get in each others faces. Connections made in person have staying power. Connections made online only stay when there is power. Peace and blessings.