Move Like a Queen

I was inspired to do this post because whenever I check the stats on my posts, one has always been viewed each week. When I check the overall views for all of my posts, "Think Like a Queen"  (read it here) posted in April of 2012 has received far more views than the rest. This got me thinking, maybe this conversation isn't over yet.

Now I realize that search words led viewers to my blog, and I have no idea if my words had a positive impact on the readers. But the impetus for continuing this conversation is the fact that people are seeking to learn how queens think. I don't claim to be an expert, I am just relaying my experiences, both observed and lived, of what is recognized by others as queenly. 

I believe that a queen can be summed up as having words, thoughts, and actions that have emerged from a sole purpose: love. Nowadays, people have talked about 'showing love,' 'being love,' or 'having love' so much that it has become a concept of "new aged" thinking. But there's nothing new about love. It has been around longer than anything else. The universe has developed harmoniously and with perfection and respect for all life...and that's love. When a person has the intention to be kind, thoughtful, considerate, and respectful to all life, everything he/she does is loving. 

A queen will choose her words wisely and with the intent to strengthen, build up, uplift, guide, sooth, educate or correct. Her words, although they may sometimes chide, will be well meaning and with the purpose of creating harmony. She is careful to not only be kind, but precise in her meaning. She will be gentle but stern when needed, truthful yet positive, and her timing will be impeccable. 

She will be conscious of her emotions and not allow them to dictate her actions. She will, in fact, act purposefully rather than react rashly. Her movements are purposely made to help not hinder. She is cautious not to upset perfect balance, yet bold enough to bring order out of chaos. She knows the power of her femininity and shows restraint with it. The truth of who she is is always evident, yet she saves the mystery of what makes her unique for a select few. 

As trials come in every life, so a queen is not immune. Trials for a queen, however, become a step raising her closer to the heavens. She endures trials with quiet grace and burgeoning faith knowing that each wound, when healed, will leave behind tougher skin. A queen will always find a way to grow from trials and will readily share what she has learned so that others do not have to suffer the same fate.

I've seen some of these qualities in myself, but more so in other women whom I admire. I admit, it is not easy to always think, act, and speak like a queen. But I have always believed that perfection is the act of striving for perfection. Intention is far more powerful than mindless habit. So practice makes perfect. These are just a few of my humble thoughts and observations. More love royal ones.

Lunchtime Reflections

I'm certain there's something going on in the cosmos that's inspiring these existential thoughts to be so at the forefront of my mind I have to take my lunch break to get it out. It occurs to me, quite often in fact, that all of the people we encounter in a single day, even the ones we think we know well, are really just mysterious creatures with a myriad of unseen facets.

We never really know what wheels are turning in a person's head, or what makes his or her heart ache or smile. We only know what people choose to let us know. I know that for me personally, there is no single person to whom I tell everything. In fact, there are things I know, think, feel, or have experienced that no one knows about. 

How, then, do we expect to really know someone? Well, we probably can't completely know someone. We are so conditioned by media or past experiences, to expect things/people to come in certain packages, so that when we see a package that we think is familiar, we put a label on it. We don't leave much room for people to reveal who they really are. Fear of judgement for either not looking as expected, or the pain of failure to be what is expected often causes us to conceal a huge part of who we really are.

So we smile and pretend we're not hurting, or maybe we feign being angry rather than cry. We play dumb in situations where we know we have insight because it is better than being belittled. How many times have you said something to someone and they blew you off and someone else told them the same thing and it became gospel?

This isn't some new revelation. I realize we are all aware that we don't know everything about each other. But, if we want to know each other better, we have to reveal ourselves to each other. That means trusting and making ourselves vulnerable, and it also means being open minded, empathetic, and non judgemental. At the very least, we should be kind. I'm just curious why if we know this, we don't treat each other more kindly, with more compassion? Why don't we check on each other? Why do we take our pain and anger out on others if we know they already must have their own? Why don't we lean on each other? Yeah, existential questions always seem to leave us asking why. But, my lunch break is over. Untill next time.

Commencement

I love graduation season. People get to celebrate successfully completing all of their hard work. I particularly like it because it is one of the few times we formally recognize and celebrate the ending of one chapter in our lives as the beginning of another. I think we should have more ceremonies or rites like this, even if it just on a personal level to remind us that the end of one thing is also the beginning of another.

I'm not sure if younger graduates know that commencement means a starting or jumping off point. I think they are so happy to be finishing school (or that portion of school) that graduation for them is an ending. We should impart to them that like a video game (to use an analogy they may be familiar with), when you finish one level, you graduate to the next, and life is one continuous commencement.

As we move through life, there are many endings such as jobs, relationships, even to our selves. But as jobs and relationships end, often there are others to follow. Sometimes we experience a whole new way of living altogether if we retire or get married. As we learn and experience life, we grow and change, and after a time we may notice that we are no longer the same person we once were. 

We tend to forget, if we ever truly comprehended, the meaning and symbolism of graduation or commencement. When we graduate from school, it means we have learned lessons well enough to move on to the next stages of life. As adults, we actually have the advantage of learning our lessons after an experience is over. When we get fired from a job or a relationship ends, if we take time to reflect on the experience, we can learn what we did or didn't do that worked or didn't work and become conscious enough to carry those lessons into the next experience.

Endings are never the end. They are always the beginning of something new. Even when we leave this earth physically, what leave behind can be a starting point for those to come. We should always remember that life is one big school and we are always students graduating from one level to the next. We should celebrate so called endings as a commencement to the next phase in our lives. Congratulations to us all for matriculating in this life. Turn your tassels y'all!