They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it isn't. There is much that we behold that we fail to recognize as beauty, yet it is there. We have been told from birth what beauty is so as not to leave it up to our own eyes and hearts. So much beauty, then, goes unnoticed. The most unfortunate place to overlook beauty is in ourselves. There is beauty in everyone and everything, yet if you can't see it in yourself, how then is one to be sure that you know what beauty is at all? Poor beauty. For millennia she has been reduced to outward physical appearances as though she does not show up anywhere else. As many forms as she comes in, she has been further reduced to a small collection of attributes. I'm here to defend her.
In the past I have been vexed, sickened, and now just saddened by the parameters and importance society has placed on physical beauty. What has prevailed as the standard of beauty has derived from the media (mostly western), and always seems to exclude so many. Since man has been able to disseminate pictures to the masses from photographs, to the silver screen, to the small box, the media has told society "this" is beauty. From Jean Harlow, Grace Kelly, Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Natalie Wood, to Jennifer Lopez, Reese Witherspoon, Katie Holmes, Mandy Moore, and Jessica Simpson (People Magazine Most Beautiful 2011), the media has chosen what is beautiful for us. Even men, from Clark Gable, Gene Kelly, Rock Hudson, James Dean, Paul Newman, and Robert Redford, to Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Denzel Washington, Tom Cruise, and Zach Ephron, have been told this is what beauty is. Most of these people have many similarities, however, most of the world doesn't look like them. If we buy into this standard of beauty, and we don't look like these people, that's when the problems arise.
In Mauritania, Africa, big is beautiful and stretch marks are sexy! Young women are fed 16,000 calories a day to fatten them up for their weddings. In Burma and Thailand, long necks on women are perceived as attractive and so from the tender age of five, females wear rings around their necks to elongate them and more rings are added over time. In Nigeria, women attend "fat farms" to gain weight. There are many different considerations around the world for the definition of physical beauty, yet the West seems to dominate the standard. People in China, India, Mexico, and Jamaica bleach their skin because lighter is viewed as better. Asian women have eye surgery to make their eyes "big and round." People around the world seem to go to great lengths to be seen as beautiful, and none of it seems to happen inside.
This, of course, is when we start to try to change our appearances with cosmetics, creams, surgery, add-ons, subtractions. It sometimes becomes an addiction, "I feel naked without my make-up" or an obsession. I wonder why people don't just alter the standard of beauty instead of altering the Most High's creation? It seems easier, and much more pleasant. I can speak from experience on the struggle between loving myself the way I am, and trying to live up to a certain standard. I still struggle, but I have come to recognize that what I find to be beautiful in others has nothing to do with their outward appearance, so why hold myself to that? I thought it was just me, that every other woman had confidence and I just needed to get some. Lately, however, I have seen women who fit the standard of beauty, women who attract attention from admirers regularly, berate themselves either verbally, or through the non-self loving choices they make. This is epidemic.
What I have come to see about myself is that I have some beautiful physical features, but what makes me beautiful comes from within. It has taken me a long time to get here, and I still have work to do, so please don't mistake this as bragging. I have a good kind heart. I care about other people and I try to help them when I can. I am deeply spiritual, which some have told me is a turn off, but I find it to be my best quality. My spirituality enables me to see the Most High in everyone and everything. This allows me to see the good in people that others may not see. I appreciate what is good about other people because it illuminates their beauty. My Father the Mighty King made me this way, and He only creates perfection. For me to try to alter my physical appearance to please anyone other than H.I.M. is a slap in His face. I am a loving, caring, joyful, and lovable woman. I don't look like a twelve year old boy like today's supermodels. I have curves and a softness to comfort a man and nurture a child. My curves may not all be in the places society thinks they should be, but no one will EVER mistake me for a pre-adolescent boy. For this, I am thankful.
True beauty to me is kindness, thoughtfulness, intelligence, humor, honesty, integrity, faithfulness, conviction, spirituality and righteousness. It is a smile, a song, a child, a kiss. I have seen so-called handsome men and pretty women become hideous with an unkind word or gesture or with selfishness, greed, arrogance, vanity, lies and abuse. I have also seen the plain, the plump, the skinny, the disproportionate, become gorgeous with a kind word or deed, a helping hand, a cheerful disposition, a humble countenance, and a loving heart. So, what is beauty, really, and do you see it when you look in the mirror? I hope so. Love and light.
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