" As I Grew Older"
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun-
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
~Langston Hughes
Langston Hughes and I have something in common, he was just as obsessed with dreams as I am. I've often wondered what will happen to the dreams that I have deferred. I know a couple sag like a heavy load, and maybe one or two are threatening to explode. I've undertaken the task of trying to reach back and realize some of the dreams I've long held in my heart since childhood. A couple of my dreams trouble me. One I fear I've waited too late to realize, but both just may not be meant to be. This leads me to the question, should we give up on some dreams?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Some people say, "never give up on your dreams," but what if you dream of doing something that you are not capable of doing, or at least not doing well? Take American Idol for example. Most of us have seen and sometimes laughed at the auditions. Some people go on the show with a serious dream, for which they have prepared most of their life, of becoming a singing star. Yet, when they finally get their chance, they don't have the talent to make their dreams come true. Now, it is sometimes baffling because some people say they have the support and encouragement of their friends and families, while you wonder why others' friends and families didn't tell them that they didn't have what it takes, and save them some embarrassment.
I know it is hard as a friend or family member to risk crushing the dreams of their loved ones by telling them the truth, but is it showing love by allowing a loved one to waste years working on the wrong dream? I think real support would be pointing out some one's strengths and helping them figure out how to make a dream from there. Regardless, I think support is key in realizing one's dreams. It is better to be truthful than to ignore one's efforts completely. We may laugh at those contestants, but we have to respect them as well. They had a dream and went for it no matter what anyone else thought. But this is not about American Idol.
Some dreams just aren't meant to be. The problem is, it is sometimes difficult to know which ones aren't, as we can't predict the future. Is there a point at which we must wake up from some dreams? I've dreamed of being a writer since freshman year in high school. I went to college intending on becoming a journalist when I discovered I was more interested in creative writing. I studied drama and wrote plays and spent six years working in television with the dream of writing a blockbuster movie. Then one day a friend of mine whose husband is a successful movie writer told me, "he writes his movies all day and when he takes breaks, he writes short stories." That's when I knew I wasn't a writer. Some days I could barely write a single sentence. So that dream was deferred. I would write a poem now and then, but I wasn't a writer. Ten years later, my Father, the Mighty King, has told me that I am a writer and has given me much to write about. Granted, no one may be reading what I write, but I write.
Writing is a dream I readily share looking for feedback and support, hoping to inspire, to touch someone, to find out if this dream is an attainable goal, or the stuff made in R.E.M. sleep. I have a lot of dreams. Some I've shared with friends, family and readers (all three of you, thank you), some I've kept to myself. I haven't really gotten much feedback or support with the writing. Some friends have read one or two things and told me I was a good writer, but they haven't read anything else. Most people just read the title of the link to this blog, but not the blog. Putting myself out there to be judged wasn't easy for me because like Erykah Badu says, "I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit." But I write to be read, so it is necessary. Other dreams, I am a little more trepidacious about revealing. Maybe I fear being laughed at, maybe I look at them like wishes, they won't come true if you tell them. Nevertheless, I will keep dreaming, so "don't wake me up until my dream is complete."*
*Christopher Williams
Want to support my dream? Read more at:
http://crowningwrites.blogspot.com/
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun-
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
~Langston Hughes
Langston Hughes and I have something in common, he was just as obsessed with dreams as I am. I've often wondered what will happen to the dreams that I have deferred. I know a couple sag like a heavy load, and maybe one or two are threatening to explode. I've undertaken the task of trying to reach back and realize some of the dreams I've long held in my heart since childhood. A couple of my dreams trouble me. One I fear I've waited too late to realize, but both just may not be meant to be. This leads me to the question, should we give up on some dreams?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Some people say, "never give up on your dreams," but what if you dream of doing something that you are not capable of doing, or at least not doing well? Take American Idol for example. Most of us have seen and sometimes laughed at the auditions. Some people go on the show with a serious dream, for which they have prepared most of their life, of becoming a singing star. Yet, when they finally get their chance, they don't have the talent to make their dreams come true. Now, it is sometimes baffling because some people say they have the support and encouragement of their friends and families, while you wonder why others' friends and families didn't tell them that they didn't have what it takes, and save them some embarrassment.
I know it is hard as a friend or family member to risk crushing the dreams of their loved ones by telling them the truth, but is it showing love by allowing a loved one to waste years working on the wrong dream? I think real support would be pointing out some one's strengths and helping them figure out how to make a dream from there. Regardless, I think support is key in realizing one's dreams. It is better to be truthful than to ignore one's efforts completely. We may laugh at those contestants, but we have to respect them as well. They had a dream and went for it no matter what anyone else thought. But this is not about American Idol.
Some dreams just aren't meant to be. The problem is, it is sometimes difficult to know which ones aren't, as we can't predict the future. Is there a point at which we must wake up from some dreams? I've dreamed of being a writer since freshman year in high school. I went to college intending on becoming a journalist when I discovered I was more interested in creative writing. I studied drama and wrote plays and spent six years working in television with the dream of writing a blockbuster movie. Then one day a friend of mine whose husband is a successful movie writer told me, "he writes his movies all day and when he takes breaks, he writes short stories." That's when I knew I wasn't a writer. Some days I could barely write a single sentence. So that dream was deferred. I would write a poem now and then, but I wasn't a writer. Ten years later, my Father, the Mighty King, has told me that I am a writer and has given me much to write about. Granted, no one may be reading what I write, but I write.
Writing is a dream I readily share looking for feedback and support, hoping to inspire, to touch someone, to find out if this dream is an attainable goal, or the stuff made in R.E.M. sleep. I have a lot of dreams. Some I've shared with friends, family and readers (all three of you, thank you), some I've kept to myself. I haven't really gotten much feedback or support with the writing. Some friends have read one or two things and told me I was a good writer, but they haven't read anything else. Most people just read the title of the link to this blog, but not the blog. Putting myself out there to be judged wasn't easy for me because like Erykah Badu says, "I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my shit." But I write to be read, so it is necessary. Other dreams, I am a little more trepidacious about revealing. Maybe I fear being laughed at, maybe I look at them like wishes, they won't come true if you tell them. Nevertheless, I will keep dreaming, so "don't wake me up until my dream is complete."*
*Christopher Williams
Want to support my dream? Read more at:
http://crowningwrites.blogspot.com/
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