Forward, forward

I just had a birthday a few days ago, and birthdays always put me in a reflective mood. So as I was looking back on the past year, I realized I had gone through quite a bit, but I survived. I know a lot of people who are going through some things right now that they have no idea how they will get through. I have learned from experience that nothing is ever as bad as it seems, and it can always be worse. After my reflection of things gone bad, I started to think about how I made it through. Prayer, patience, and gratitude are the words that keep popping into my head.

The last two years have been rough, and last year was the worse. I went through a lot of painful things, things I had to endure alone, with my Father the Mighty King, and somethings only He and I knew about. It was a lonely, fearful, and painful time. My relationship with my Father the Mighty King and my life were threatened. It was then that I learned who my real friends were, and that of those, even they can't comfort you sometimes. People don't realize that telling a person how they were at fault or what they could have done better is better received once a person has healed or at least gotten to a place where they can look at a matter from their heads instead of from the pain in their hearts.It is not a comfort to tell a person that what they are going through is no big deal when they are in the middle of feeling pain. It's like Bob Marley said, "Every man think that his burden is the heaviest."

I had to find joy and comfort in every little thing. But first, I had to want to be healed. I had to want to get through the pain. Wanting the pain to be over and wanting to get through it are two different things. When you just want it to be over, it doesn't matter how it ends. When you want to get through it, you want to heal. Once I was able to want to heal, I consciously allowed every little joy, positivity, good news or event to make me feel like everything was going to be alright. Music worked best for me. It has always been a joy to me, but this time it saved my life. Groundation was the group responsible for my healing, and their song "Groundation Chant" started it all. I don't know why this music had such a powerful impact on me, but it did, and I am thankful. People who know me well know that I am crazy about this group, but none of them know why. For the last year I have listened primarily to Groundation and Bob Marley in my car or ipod. Bob Marley's music was the first to have such a powerful and positive effect on my life, and that hadn't happened again until Groundation came along. Give thanks Groundation. But this isn't an homage to Groundation (maybe some other time). This is what helped me start to heal.

The point is, I was inspired to make a fresh start. I give thanks daily for every blessing, and I see a blessing in everything. I even saw being laid off as an opportunity to do something new, in a new place. Those around me who couldn't help me heal, but cared nonetheless encouraged me and loved me, and that gave me strength and courage. When you are in pain or going through a rough time, you must go deep within to find the will to be happy. You have to want to get through it, and you will find ways to feel joy and peace. I recently read a quote by Arthur Rubinstein that said, "To be alive, to able to see, to walk…it’s all a miracle. I have adapted the technique of living life from miracle to miracle." Give thanks for another year, what a miracle.

Love

Love. It is the only thing that matters. It is the only thing that covers all offenses. It creates miracles. I have been covered in love all my life, and even more so recently. I was blessed to witness the union of two good friends, whom I consider my brother and sister, in a traditional Yoruba wedding ceremony. The colors and patterns of the wedding party's garments were vibrant and beautiful and the rituals included everyone in attendance, enabling us to both give our blessings and support the couple. The best part was to see so many people whom I've seen supporting them at other events gathered together to celebrate love.

I was able to spend time catching up with friends and ones who have played their parts in encouraging me and supporting me on my trod to the throne. It warmed my heart that so many were as excited to see me as I was to see them. I felt loved, and that is a wonderful feeling. Just being invited to a wedding is love because the bride and the groom are telling you that you are special enough to share in their very special day. When you are invited to a wedding, do your best to go, even if you don't believe in marriage, the couple does, and they want you there to share in their joy. Now that's love.

Going home can always be stressful for many reasons. This time was stressful because of the short length of my stay and trying to see everyone who is important to me. That's a good stress though. Of course, not everyone I wanted to see wanted to see me. Some people don't know how to love or accept love. They return it with hate, or pain, or just plain indifference. There's a saying that goes, "To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." I think people should keep that in mind when someone wants to talk to them or spend time with them. If you don't want to have anything to do with them, you should let them know so that they can move forward. I've learned that you don't have to have love reciprocated in order to give it. I can love from afar. There are people whom I love and they don't even know it. I love people I've never even met. So love is never lost, no matter how hard some try to shine it away.

In my trod to the throne, one of my tasks has been to learn to let go of hurt, grudges, mischief, and jealousy. I have had to learn to L.I.G., Let It Go. But what I've found about letting it go is that you can't do it by forgetting, or even by just forgiving. What one needs to do is to commit to loving the person who has wronged you. This doesn't mean that you have to do nice things for them all of the time, or even spend a lot of time with them. It just means praying for their well being and that they receive wisdom and guidance, and remembering their good qualities. Love is easy to show; a smile, listening, honesty, small kindness fill the world with love. Imagine if we did that with everyone we encounter instead of yelling, fighting, or hating. With all that's going on in the world today, it can all be solved with love. We are made of, from, and by love. It is an innate quality within us all. Let it out. Love.

But you can't run away from yourself

There's lots of talk of Armageddon these days with the earthquake, tsunami, nuclear disaster in Japan, birds and fish dying by the thousands and hundreds of thousands, and the citizens of the world revolting against their unjust governments. Is it Armageddon? I don't know, won't know until it is. What I do know is that the only thing that you can do to prepare for it is to get your priorities  and your spirit and soul in order.

Let's play the what if game. What if there is a higher power waiting to judge us at the end of days? What will your sentence be? What if we do get reincarnated and what we return as is determined by the lives we are living now? Will you come back as a king? A lion? A cockroach? What if there is a heaven and a hell, and hell is your worst nightmare, biggest fear, most painful experience, 100 fold for eternity? What if everyone started loving themselves, each other, and the planet right now and gave up every destructive behavior and thing? I'm just playing what if.

Chasing a dollar is not going to bring you peace, maybe not even security one day. Even if there is nothing once we leave this rock, don't you want to have enjoyed a life that was rich with love, peace, and unity? Wouldn't you like to experience that before you go? Maybe you go before the world ends, what do you want people to say about you when you leave? "He sure had a lot of money. Now we have it." Or maybe, "He was popular with the women. Except the one who killed him." How about, "She was so sexy. What was her name again?" I'm making jokes here, but really, how do you want to be remembered?

You can hide under a table during an earthquake, run to the hills to escape a tsunami, run for cover underground to escape radiation, but you can't run away from yourself. Every man/woman has the same ultimate destiny, and we can't always control the how and the when. We can, however, control what we do until then. Send positive energy to Japan and yourselves. Remember, we are all connected. What affects one, affects us all.

Spirit

I have carefully avoided going into depth about spirituality so as not to be received as off putting to those for whom spirituality is without value. But as a queen I am compelled, duty bound, to be authentic and to encourage others to participate in those things which would be of benefit to them. What I know is that everyone has a spirit that needs  to be acknowledged, honored, and nourished. Matters of the spirit are what propel us to increased joy, love, and success, as well as send us spiraling down into the pits of depression, loneliness, and destitution. So in fulfillment of my royal duties, I am writing today about spirituality and the spirit.


There are many definitions of spirit and spirituality. I say that the spirit is what makes you who you are. The body is a shell. It's looks are dictated by genetics. But the spirit is who you are at the core. It's look is dictated by the care you give it, the work you put into it. Just like the body, it needs to be fed and exercised to stay healthy and fit. So how does one do that? By honoring yourself and the world. Remember, we are all connected so your spirit needs to be healthy in order for everyone else's to be healthy and vice versa. Take time out to meditate, chant, pray. Treat yourself to whatever relaxes you, in a healthy way, and enables you to hear that voice within and the voice of the universe. Allow yourself to feel the connection between yourself and others, nature, the earth, animals, the wind. Read spiritual texts for guidance or to stimulate spiritual thought. 

Spirituality is acknowledging that you are not alone in the world. You are part of something bigger and you have an important part to play.Regardless of what you have faith in, there is always a higher power than yourself and He/She/It needs attention and honor too. Whether it is God, Allah, Jah, Buddha, the Ogun, the Great Spirit, the universe, the earth, collective energy, whatever you choose to name this higher power, honor and acknowledgement bring great rewards. Prayer works for me, as well as meditation, although I am better at one than the other. When I give my Father the Mighty King the proper attention and honor, He rewards me, always. The greatest reward is always peace and the knowledge that I am not alone. My spirit loves conscious music, dancing, writing, and cooking. I give thanks and praises daily for life, shelter, food, clothing, safety, human contact, the sun, the rain, flowers, birds, etc. There is much for which to be thankful, and many ways to show gratitude. I try not to do anything that is harmful to others or the earth and all its life. What you give, you will receive ten fold is something I believe in, so I try to make sure I only give good things. Am I always successful at it? No, but I do try.

I've gotten in such a habit of feeding my spirit that my body craves it. Sometimes when I'm feeling run down, overwhelmed, stressed, pulled in too many directions, my body only responds to quiet meditation and reading spiritual texts. It's my spirit screaming for food. The mind, body, spirit connection is real, and powerful. If one is not healthy, the other two won't be either. If you take a day at the spa, eat a healthy meal, drink lots of water, and meditate, or listen to calming music. It will enhance the whole spa experience.

There are many ways to care for your spirit, but the first step is to acknowledge it and give thanks. You are more than skin, flesh, bones, and hair and you need to take care of the whole YOU.

Patience

It's been some time now since I've posted as I have been meeting with my Father the Mighty King. These were tougher conversations this time because I have been badgering H.I.M. for answers. He finally reminded me what I do when children constantly ask me 'why' 'when' 'what' in their sing songy whine. I just tell them they need to be patient and trust me, and the more they whine, the less I am inclined to answer. I could only laugh because my Father is giving me some of my own medicine. So I am sitting, and waiting.

My problem is that I don't have enough positive outside stimulation to give my mind a rest. I then ponder the cares or carelessness of the world much too deeply and it causes me a bit of anxiety. In my heart I  know that we as a race, the human race, have what it takes to make positive changes in the world, we just have to have the courage to take a step. We only need to each take one step forward to get the wheels of change in motion.  There's only a very small few who think they're in power. We can take them. It may just be a matter of saying no, or yes. You may just have to let go of old things or feelings, or thoughts. Lent started yesterday. As a woman who was raised catholic, I know all about the Lenten season. Most people have lost the original concept of lent. They give up things that they like because they think they have to suffer for forty days like Jesus did. Traditionally you fast for 40 days, or give up eating anything bearing life

I think the more evolved idea is that if you would suffer for the loss of the thing you give up, it is no good for you and you should give it up for good. God is a jealous God, He doesn't want you desiring something more than you desire Him. He wants you to take 40 days to focus on Him instead of the things you think you can't live without. If it doesn't come directly from God, you don't need it. I would challenge people to give up negative habits like not giving your child enough attention, or ignoring homeless people, or not caring for the environment. They say that if you can do something for 21 days, you can do it for a lifetime. That's only half of lent!

But I no longer celebrate lent. I find it better to give up bad things/habits and begin good habits on a daily basis. Once a year for 40 days doesn't last for me. I am no longer worrying and being impatient and I am working on strengthening my faith that my Father the Mighty King has the best in store for me, in His time. So I sit, and I wait, patiently.

Unplugging

This is one of those times I've talked about before. A time when I get too much in the world and not enough into the spirit. Living in the spirit takes a conscious effort, thus the name "consciousness." There is so much worldly stimulation in the form of media (especially social), work, less than spiritual or conscious friends, and all of the stress, worry, and annoyance that comes with living in a capitalist society. If one doesn't stay consciously aware of a higher power, a greater purpose, a more benevolent state of being, one can easily get pulled into worldly ways, worries, and attitudes. What comes next is frustration, trepidation, irritation, and finally segregation. I've gone through the first three and I am on my way to the final one. It's easy to become so wrapped up in the worries from a system that is designed to keep you struggling, stressing, wanting, wanton, needy and greedy that you forget that you have all that you need and that trials are there to strengthen you.

 I crave intellectual conversations, witty banter, gathering for a cause, collective reasoning and so forth. That type of interaction usually helps me wade through the manure of life and keep my sanity. Right now I am isolated. My circumstances, and choices, have put me in a position where I am unable to get out and make new acquaintances, and dare I say friends. So, social networking, phone calls, and emails are a lifeline for me. But it's not enough. I have to weed through too much foolishness to get to the types of connections I seek. And there is something to be said for face to face interaction.

I'll tell you a secret. People think I'm an extrovert, but I am really an introvert who's faking it. When I was in grade school, we took these tests, you know, the ones that tell you if you're a thinking, feeling, perceiving, intro or extrovert or whatever. I was an introvert then, and I still am. But I had all of these things I wanted to do, to experience, to learn, to try, and I had to learn to fake being an extrovert in order to make them happen. It's an effort, and quite an exhausting one. Now, here I am in a new place, alone with my Father the Mighty King, and I need to fake it more than ever. I have a friend on one of those social pages whom I've never met, but he lives near me and we share a lot of the same interest. I want to just say, 'hey, wanna be friends.' But I was told that I shouldn't say that. I don't know why, would I look stupid (who cares) desperate? Making friends was so much easier when I was 5. In fact, it gets harder, almost impossible, I think, after college. I said all of this to say that my desire to be around people and make friends has A) caused me to spend waaaaay too much time on social networks, and B) caused me to put far too much pressure on the few friends I stay in contact with to be there for me.

Solution, you guessed it, power down.I have decided to proactively segregate myself from the world (as much as I can and still keep a job) and get with my Father the Mighty King again. He always brings me back to center. You'll thank me for it, trust me. I hear that voice saying, 'step away from the computer queen.' I may still write, but only after a few days of self reflection, inner scrutiny, and prayer. Don't be surprised if you don't see what I write, some things I write are for therapy only. I won't even post the link to this on those pages. I guess this piece is therapy too. Will you miss me? If you do, leave me a note in the comments section and I'll connect when I plug back in. Until then, consider letting the world go for a while and create your own inner sanctum. The world will wait.