Unplugging

This is one of those times I've talked about before. A time when I get too much in the world and not enough into the spirit. Living in the spirit takes a conscious effort, thus the name "consciousness." There is so much worldly stimulation in the form of media (especially social), work, less than spiritual or conscious friends, and all of the stress, worry, and annoyance that comes with living in a capitalist society. If one doesn't stay consciously aware of a higher power, a greater purpose, a more benevolent state of being, one can easily get pulled into worldly ways, worries, and attitudes. What comes next is frustration, trepidation, irritation, and finally segregation. I've gone through the first three and I am on my way to the final one. It's easy to become so wrapped up in the worries from a system that is designed to keep you struggling, stressing, wanting, wanton, needy and greedy that you forget that you have all that you need and that trials are there to strengthen you.

 I crave intellectual conversations, witty banter, gathering for a cause, collective reasoning and so forth. That type of interaction usually helps me wade through the manure of life and keep my sanity. Right now I am isolated. My circumstances, and choices, have put me in a position where I am unable to get out and make new acquaintances, and dare I say friends. So, social networking, phone calls, and emails are a lifeline for me. But it's not enough. I have to weed through too much foolishness to get to the types of connections I seek. And there is something to be said for face to face interaction.

I'll tell you a secret. People think I'm an extrovert, but I am really an introvert who's faking it. When I was in grade school, we took these tests, you know, the ones that tell you if you're a thinking, feeling, perceiving, intro or extrovert or whatever. I was an introvert then, and I still am. But I had all of these things I wanted to do, to experience, to learn, to try, and I had to learn to fake being an extrovert in order to make them happen. It's an effort, and quite an exhausting one. Now, here I am in a new place, alone with my Father the Mighty King, and I need to fake it more than ever. I have a friend on one of those social pages whom I've never met, but he lives near me and we share a lot of the same interest. I want to just say, 'hey, wanna be friends.' But I was told that I shouldn't say that. I don't know why, would I look stupid (who cares) desperate? Making friends was so much easier when I was 5. In fact, it gets harder, almost impossible, I think, after college. I said all of this to say that my desire to be around people and make friends has A) caused me to spend waaaaay too much time on social networks, and B) caused me to put far too much pressure on the few friends I stay in contact with to be there for me.

Solution, you guessed it, power down.I have decided to proactively segregate myself from the world (as much as I can and still keep a job) and get with my Father the Mighty King again. He always brings me back to center. You'll thank me for it, trust me. I hear that voice saying, 'step away from the computer queen.' I may still write, but only after a few days of self reflection, inner scrutiny, and prayer. Don't be surprised if you don't see what I write, some things I write are for therapy only. I won't even post the link to this on those pages. I guess this piece is therapy too. Will you miss me? If you do, leave me a note in the comments section and I'll connect when I plug back in. Until then, consider letting the world go for a while and create your own inner sanctum. The world will wait.