Letting Go

Why is it so hard for us to let go of people, things and habits and move forward? Some of the people, things, and habits aren't good for us or to us, and even when we know that, we still can't let go. The best example is relationships. When we break up, there's always a period of time where we get back together or see each other as "friends" and we end up back in the same situation of pain and disappointment. It's like the saying about going to the refrigerator every time a commercial comes on like the contents have somehow changed in  that small amount of time. I'm not saying that people can't change, but for me to really believe that change has occurred, there needs to be a sufficient amount of time passed for the work and reflection needed for change to occur.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. I'm not saying if someone says, 'I'm a good man or woman' to take their word. You will know them by their fruit. If you see a tree, and you don't know what kind of tree it is, wait and let it bear its fruit. Once you see it is an apple, pear, or lemon tree, taste the fruit. If the fruit is bad, it's bad. The only way that tree will bear good fruit is with some kind of maintenance like soil change happens, and then you need to wait till next year for it to bear new fruit.  My point is, if  you see an orange growing on a tree, stop thinking it will turn into an apple. If it's oranges you want, great, but if you taste it and the fruit is tart or dry, its not going to change just because you will it to.

Family is a lot harder to let go of, but sometimes we have to do that too. We give them a little more slack because they are family, but if they are mistreating or hurting you in any way, you have to let them go too. Family will be much more free with comments and actions that hurt your spirit or mind, and sometimes body, because they somehow feel that sharing DNA is a license to let loose on you.

When I moved, I gave away 13 bags of clothes and shoes, six boxes of books, Cd's, trinkets and a whole host of other things including furniture. I threw away quite a bit of "stuff" that had been clouding my life for years. I had stuff I hadn't even remembered I had. I packed clothes and a few necessities into my car and started off to a new life, light and free.

Then there are the habits. Smoking, drinking, drugs, over eating, eating junk food, promiscuity, and I could go on, are all things that hold us back from living a healthy happy life. What's good to us, is not always good for us. I was recently reasoning with a friend about the passage in the bible that says, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to give up all he has and enter into the kingdom of God." There are so many people I know who want to be healthier, happier, and have a closer relationship with God, but they admit that they don't want to give up the things that keep them from achieving those things. Yes it will be hard, but easy come, easy go. As a vegan, I have to go to two or three different places to shop for groceries and find what I need. In this new area I live in, I have yet to find a vegan restaurant. But, I have found a great produce store with inexpensive produce, I save money by not eating out, I am becoming a great cook, and on top of it all, I am healthier.

It is good to know your history, to be anchored to the past in a healthy way which reminds us of where and who we came from and what we are capable of achieving. But, holding onto people, things, and habits that are not good for us, or that do not serve a healthy purpose in our lives, chains us to the same position, like a dog chained to a tree, preventing us from moving forward to a better life. Let us be more like the Sankofa bird. This is a bird that can turn its head all the way around to look behind it. Its always, therefore, depicted that way.  It represents the fact that although the bird is constantly moving forward, it continually looks behind it - to its past. The key here is that the bird is "constantly moving forward" while looking back. If it isn't good for you, L.I.G., let it go. Remember the lesson you learned, and keep moving forward.