Play I some music

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain," "Music is a world within itself with a language we all understand," "Music is the Most High." What Bob Marley, Stevie Wonder, and Harrison Stafford expressed in these quotes from their songs is that music has an immeasurable power to stimulate, motivate, elevate, and generate positive vibrations within one's soul. I can't say enough about the power of music, at least in my life. I can recall what I was doing, what the fashions and slangs were, how I was feeling at any given time in my life, just from hearing a song. I often equate certain times in my life with the music I was listening to at that time. I have also experienced life changing personal transformations because of music.

When I first got to college, my roommate was a dark moody and brainy junior who wore all black and who loved Siouxsie and the Banshees. I was very intimidated by her. She asked me if I liked Siouxsie and the Banshees and I said yes. All of a sudden her face lit up and her mood was bright and she became my personal cultural attache, introducing me to everyone, giving me the lay of the land and survival tips. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had never heard of the band, but I think she figured it out after a while. But having music in common was enough to break down walls and fuse a friendship.


Bob Marley's music changed my life forever. His lyrics, soul, and passion inspired me to seek what gave him such peace, faith and strength. That is how my Father the Mighty King found me. Bob's music always enlivens my spirit. I realized a few years ago, that when I am stressed I start singing "Three Little Birds" and when I'm really stressed, I unconsciously hum it. I found that out when people would start singing along as I hummed. I was listening to Bob Marley when I realized the truth about my destiny to be a queen.


Stevie Wonder's music reminds me of family, and Michael Jackson, well his music represented my childhood. This new part of my life is marked by, of course, Groundation. Not since Bob Marley has music had such an effect on my life, and that is saying a lot! Their music has renewed my spirit and strengthened my faith. I have had a rough year and Groundation not only got me through it, but above it. Give thanks Groundation.

Maya Angelou once said "Music was my refuge.  I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." (Gather Together in my Name)  We've all run to music for comfort at some point in time in our lives, like after a break up or the loss of a love one. We use songs to express ourselves to loved ones when we can't seem to find the right words. Musicians are blessed that way. Gustav Mahler once said, "If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music." Great music sometimes doesn't even need lyrics, the notes themselves speak. That's why I love the piano so much, it tells a story all by itself.

Oliver Wendell Holmes said of music, "Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons.  You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body." Friedrich Nietzsche said, "Without music, life would be a mistake." I don't know if would be a mistake, but it would certainly be less pleasant, and a lot tougher to navigate. But for me, Groundation hit the nail on the head, "Music will always rescue me." Give thanks to all the players of music.

Tradition or habit?

Customary practice or use. A particular practice, custom, or usage. A customary or characteristic method or manner. A long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting. Ok, so what's with the fragmented sentences, right? They're definitions from dictionary.com. Definitions of what, you ask? Well, the first two sentences are the definitions of  the word 'habit,' while the second two are definitions of the word 'tradition.' They're amazingly similar, don't you think? With the 'holidays' coming up, I've been hearing the word 'tradition' being thrown around like it's some holy sacrament. Frankly, these days 'tradition' seems more like 'habit' to me.

People are bustling around stressed out over buying turkeys and fixins, making travel plans, camping out in front of department stores to be first in line for 'black Friday.' It all seems quite unpleasant. The moans and looks of dread on peoples' faces as they talk about cooking Thanksgiving dinner or how much they can spend on Christmas gifts this year is really quite depressing. No one even knows what these holidays are about anymore. I asked a child the other day what Thanksgiving celebrated, she said 'the day columbus discovered America.' Yes, thank goodness good ol' chris columbus discovered America, the Native Americans would only be called natives if he hadn't. But I digress. I don't celebrate these holidays anymore, but since I have moved away from my family, they are the only time I can get off from work so that I can see them, so I've been sucked back in, sort of.

My family really wants me around during the holidays, but not enough to cook vegan food for me. But, I don't mind cooking for myself these days, as I have become quite good at it. I just would love to see my family relaxed, happy, and thankful to be together instead tired, stressed, and filled with internal drama over the events that have occurred in their lives since the last time we plastered on fake smiles and stuffed ourselves as if we were trying to fill some dark bottomless chasm of hopelessness. I, for one, have a lot of hope and a lot for which to be thankful, and I give thanks everyday. I wonder if the real dread of this holiday is that people tend to think of what they don't have to be thankful for instead of all of the things they do have.

We all, thankfully, have our health, at least enough of it to worry about other unimportant things, and we are blessed to be able to come together and share a meal. I'm not going to even get started on Christmas. It makes me ill just to see people get worked up over buying gifts for people, some of whom they don't even like. It's all pretense. We pretend it's tradition, but it's really just habit. We're just going through the motions of eating the same food, watching the same football games, and having the same conversations. That really isn't all that bad since we don't really seem to get together on any other occasions, but if people don't like it so much, why not change it?

You don't have to do what everyone else is doing. Why not fast that day? Maybe if you don't eat all day on a day like Thanksgiving, you'll appreciate cooking more. Volunteer to help someone less fortunate than you. Buy Christmas gifts for the homeless instead of your family. Is all of that too selfless for you? Ok, then go out for dinner, or have it catered. Do something that will allow you to enjoy the company of your loved ones, and appreciate that you have them to enjoy. If you're going to celebrate these holidays, create a new 'tradition' so that it is no longer just habit, and be thankful that you did.

The Sword in the Stone

Most people don't know this, but when I was a child, I was a big fan of the Legends of King Arthur. (Yes, even then I loved the idea of a righteous king).  There was one story about Arthur as a boy called "The Sword in the Stone." In the story, King Uther had died without leaving an heir to the throne. Merlyn the magician had the idea of placing a sword in a stone that only a righteous and just spirit could pull out. All the knights in the land tried but failed to pull it out. Then one day, young Arthur came upon the sword in the stone and pulled it out with ease, thus revealing himself as the rightful heir to the throne.

That story made me think of the righteous king who is on his way to finding me. I will know him because he will be the only one who could remove the sword from the stone. By that I mean that he will be of just spirit, kind, caring, patient, fair, and will show his love in many ways.  We as women tend to let any knight in the kingdom "pull the sword." That is to say we let them into our hearts give them our goodies, and trust that they are who they say they are, only to be disappointed and heartbroken.  Your "goodies" are your spirit, heart, mind, and body. They are a treat. Some women give their treats away like it's halloween, which means they must fear being tricked if they don't.  If you think that if you don't give your body to a man he will leave, let him leave. More than likely, he will leave once he gets what he wants anyway. But if he is willing to wait, you may be on the right track.

Let him show you what his love looks like. I'm not talking about giving you gifts. I mean how does he treat his mother, or sisters, or children? Is he attentive to you? Does he show interest in you and your life? Does he call to see how you are doing, what you are doing, or just to hear your voice? Is he proud to be with you and be seen with you and call you his love? Are you on the same path spiritually? Does he treat you with honor and respect in every area? Don't make excuses like, 'he would call more often but he's so busy,' or he's just not into public displays of affection, but he holds my hand in private.'  Rev. Run (of Run DMC) posted two things on twitter that are brilliant: 1."Ladies, you can tell if someone is passionate about you... the proof of passion is the pursuit," and 2.  "The things you see people take good care of is a clue to what they love."

You can't expect to get a righteous king, if you are not a righteous queen. Check your own behavior. Do you behave and treat others the same way you want your righteous king to? Do YOU have respect for YOURSELF? For that matter, do you LOVE yourself?  “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." (Matthew 7:6-KJV) When you love yourself, you will not give yourself to the unworthy. It is not a pleasant way to learn this hard lesson, so please take my advice, make the knights pull the sword from the stone.

Who's in Control?

I've been thinking about control a lot lately. Well, I 've been thinking about it a lot more since last night as I realized that what I've been dealing with is someone's need for control.  We all know people who have to have things done their way, who need to be the planner, delegator, and overseer of all situations. I have recently encountered one such person. I realized last night that there must be something she feels she can not control in her life which makes her need to control other situations.

Now, I used to be a control freak, at work. I needed things done the way I envisioned them to satisfy the little perfectionist inside me. In my personal life, I was content to trust others to plan and control certain situations while I just went along for the ride. Then one day, I realized I couldn't be in two places at one time, so I had to trust those I had put in charge. What I found was that they were capable of getting things done without me hovering, and their ideas were quite good. That was it, I was on the delegate and trust ban wagon. But I have known people whose controlling behavior has bordered on obsessive. Putting each item in a particular place and having things just so, seemed comforting to them. What is it in their personal lives that they have no control over?

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I see women being controlled by men, I see people in favor of letting government agencies herd them like cattle to be x-rayed and molested all in the name of national security. No one asked a single question when their civil liberties were taken away. Yet, these same people who applaud having their most intimate parts revealed to their fellow airline passengers complain the most about what information facebook has access to. Now that's funny, because there isn't much some people won't tell on facebook.

The truth is, the only thing we can really control is ourselves. We can't control what other people say or do, but we can control how we react to them, and if we will stay in that situation. Our lives don't really belong to us. They're not random, the things that we experience, but most of what we experience on a daily basis is out of our control. We can decide where we would like to go, but if we get there, get there on time, and what we will experience, is for the most part out of our control.  I, personally, relinquish control of my life to my Father, the Mighty King. Father, after all, knows best. He has put me on a path to the throne, so I must put my trust in HIM. Then, all of the fear, anxiety, disappointment, and whatever else comes with wanting control and not getting it, goes away. Control your tongue, control your thoughts, words, and actions, and you can control your destiny. Leave the other stuff to someone who knows better.

Friends, how many of us have them?

True friends are a precious gift because unlike your family, they choose you. I've always tried to honor my friendships. There are those who are/were closer to my heart than others and I would/would have done anything for them. Then there are those who aren't as close but still provide a certain richness to my life with each interaction that I treasure. Then, there are acquaintances. I admit I sometimes confuse acquaintances with friends. Either we have lost touch, or we never became that close in the first place.


I have found that we reach a certain age where making real lasting friendships becomes almost impossible. For me it was after college. But then a couple of years ago, I put myself in a position to meet people who had the same passions, and I believe I have made a few more  lasting friendships. Some people put up barriers that inhibit connecting with other people. Whether it's age difference, race, religion, political views, or fear of intimacy (mental, emotional, spiritual and physical), these are all barriers to making meaningful connections and growing in the process. I have had friendships end for reasons unknown to me. It hurts, but I have to accept that certain people come into my life to enrich it for a finite amount of time. That is why I cherish the time and treasures they brought to me.


Friendships should be symbiotic, that is, mutually beneficial. In biology, symbiosis occurs  between two dissimilar organisms. That makes me aware of the fact that we can become friends with people who are different from us, with whom we have little in common, who come from different backgrounds. I read a quote that said, “Much of the vitality in a friendship lies in the honouring of differences, not simply in the enjoyment of similarities.”

Yes, friendships are tricky because human beings are often unpredictable, fickle, and moody enigmas. But what are we to do, live solitary lives? That is not why we are here together on this planet. It can be quite lonely without human companionship. I have encouraged solitary time to reflect and refresh, but no man or woman is an island. Albert Einstein once said, "Only a life lived for others is worth living." When we open ourselves up to new experiences, celebrate differences, share passions and sorrows, joy and pain, with another, it can be a wonderfully fulfilling experience.

Sending my love to ya

I've been thinking about love lately. I love many people in many different ways for many different reasons. I even love people I've never met before. I try not to categorize love like the system (babylon) tries to get us to do. You know how they tell us that there is love you have for family, love you have for friends, love you have for a spouse or lover. Love is love. However you try to qualify it, it comes from the same place, the Most High. I usually try to leave room for those of you who don't believe in a higher power to relate to what I'm saying, but in this post I must inject my  truth. The only reason we are even capable of love, the only reason we even know what love feels like, is because the Most High, God, Buddha Allah, the Great Spirit, Jah, my Father the Mighty King, whatever you choose to call Him, loved us first. That's it, I'm not going to proselytize.

But I do want to focus on love, how and who we love. I am wondering, how many people are able to give unconditional love? It's not easy. Some people make it difficult for us to love them, but then I've realized that they are usually the people who need  love most. Often people who are difficult are lonely, sad, embittered, weary, lost, missing something in their lives. If you can't stand to be around them enough to show them love, then just pray for them. If you don't pray, wish them well, if you don't wish, think a good thought about them or for them. The best way to love someone is to desire good things for them.


I've loved, and still do, some people who could not find the courage to love me. They may have said they loved me (and some didn't) but their actions were quite the opposite.  "My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth." (1John 3:19-KJV). In other words, actions speak louder than words. For me, once I love someone, a part of me always will love them. I may no longer associate with them, but I pray for their happiness and well being, and often for their correction. I know a lot of people stay in abusive relationships (physical, verbal, and emotional) or relationships that are not going where they desire, simply because they love the individual. Who says you have to be with them in order to love them? Conversely, you don't have to stop loving them just because you are no longer with them. Before you can love anyone, you have to love yourself first, and getting out of that situation is showing yourself some love. When the bible says 'love your neighbor as yourself,' it is calling on you to love yourself, not to treat your neighbor as crappy as you treat yourself.

I also find myself loving people I've never met because of the love I feel they have shown me and the world. I love Bob Marley for the message he shared in his music. I love him for sharing his talent with the world and being a messenger and ambassador of love, peace, and oneness. I find myself loving Harrison Stafford for the same reasons.  I hope to find many more angels whom I can love just like I love them. I love my childhood friends on facebook because we seem to pick up where we left off. We recognize the bonds our youthful experiences created and we hold them close and keep them up. The same goes for my college and past work friends. I love my rasta brothers and sisters for the love and strength they give me. I love them even when they fail to give it because I know they would if they could. These relationships keep me on facebook (Jah knows I was leaving until my elementary school friend found me).

I don't always show my love, for that I ask forgiveness. People who love me don't always show me, for that I forgive them. People I haven't met don't know I love them, and that's ok. But if you didn't know, let me tell you that I love you. This is my love letter to YOU. My question, who do you love?

"Open your eyes, and look within"

This is one of those days I give thanks and praises to my Father the Mighty King that I do not have to work. You ever have one of those days where you wake up in a strange mood? I mean you're not sad or depressed, or even in a bad mood, but just not feeling like yourself? Well this is one of those days for me. I woke up earlier than I wanted to because of a dream that I certainly didn't want to have. Since then, I've spilled my breakfast three times (happens when you have no furniture), I burned the food I was trying cook to replace what I spilled, so my small house is smokey, which means I had to open a window to let out my warm air and let in some frosty air.

Yes, this is a day of washing my locks and self reflection. I don't write this blog because I think I know everything, quite the contrary. What I DON'T know could fill several libraries, and does! I find some people resent the little intelligence I've been blessed with, while others put way to much confidence in it. I do a lot of introspective exploration and I just want to share what I come up with. I would love feedback and your opinions, so feel free. One thing that bothers me is all of those people who think they know me so well. How can they know me when there is so much I don't know about myself? Plus, I am constantly growing, evolving, metamorphosizing....I am becoming a queen, remember?


So, today is for more self reflection, another journey into the deep to figure out what I still need to learn, what I still need to change. That's one of the things I've been struggling with since I made this trod away from loved ones to my throne. I am all about reinventing myself. It has to happen in order for me to be crowned. But what parts of me are worth keeping and which ones need to go? Sometimes I wonder if I'm changing some things up just for the sake of change. I have to keep telling myself, 'if you like it, and it works for you, it's you.' For instance, the clothing I wear has become a debate in my own head. Do I like this, is it me, or am I just trying to find something that is different than what I usually wear? You see, I am very aware that certain things become habit and pretty soon, you no longer know if you like or if you're just used to it.


Habits are a funny thing. Why is it that bad habits are much easier to keep than good habits? I can eat french fries with anything, seriously, anything, but why can't I commit to going to the gym on a regular basis? I think that bad habits usually make us feel  good and are easy, while good habits are often a little harder and though good for us, they don't always give us that instant gratification.  I have some habits I need to shake, some demons I need to expel, some thought patterns I need to change. That's why I go inward as often as possible, and I am often working things out as I type this blog!


Some people are afraid of their own company. They're afraid to ask themselves the questions that need answering the most. But it's like one of those game shows, we have to answer certain questions, complete certain tasks in order to move on to the next step. The prizes are peace, happiness, and enlightenment. I'm ready and willing to do the work, to find out what's giving me disturbing dreams, or why I have certain habits and how to get rid of them, how I can become a better me. I don't know everything, and I don't need to know everything, but I do need to know everything about myself, so that I can complete my journey to becoming a queen.

If you're happy, I'm happy

I've come to accept, on my journey to the throne, that we, all of us, are indeed responsible for other people's happiness. I know that many of you, us would much rather like to live under the idea that each person is responsible for his or her own happiness, but alas, it is not entirely true. From the beginning of time, man has needed a companion, someone to talk to, explore with, entertain, and make babies with. You know the story, God made Eve for Adam. The fact that we as humans cannot procreate alone is enough proof really that we have been put here on this earth for each other, and really cannot move forward without each other, so that makes us responsible for each other.

We need each other, not just to survive, but to be happy. I know it seems unfair at first to be held responsible for another's happiness, but isn't that the essence of any relationship? When you acknowledge a birthday, give a compliment or encouragement,  help someone move, make someone dinner, tell someone you love them, isn't all of that done in the name of bringing happiness into some one's life? Now, that's not to say that we don't ultimately have the final say on how things or people will affect us, but we also have to realize  that once we engage another person in any type of relationship, we are accepting a role in their lives. It's like a play. Once you get a part in the play, you are expected to learn your lines and your stage directions and show up to rehearsals and shows. The cast, director, stage crew, even the audience are all counting on you to do your part. So it is when we enter each others lives.

I know you're still not buying it. What if I told you that being responsible for some one else's happiness is a mutually beneficial act? Think about it, if you make me happy, would I not be more inclined to return the favor? It's not really as big a task as one might think, really.  Returning a call, allowing one to vent, giving a hug are all ways that put little bits of happiness into people's lives that over time build up to into full blown happiness. The bottom line is, if you have ever been, even just a tiny bit responsible for someone feeling sad, angry, hurt, belittled, rejected, or anything  negative, then you can certainly be responsible for some one else's happiness.

Be Thankful

Are you ever satisfied? Do you feel fortunate for all that you have, or do you believe you need to have more for that to be true? Lately, I've been so thankful for my modest life that I find myself singing and dancing. I live in a much smaller place, I make over $20k less than what I was making, I haven't made any real friends yet, it's much colder here than back home, and I can hardly find any vegan food. But, I don't share walls or a roof nestled here in this natural setting, I am able to fashion a program for youth from my own ideas and creativity-with no concern about numbers, I have become much more outgoing and assertive in my quest to meet new people, I am able to see actual seasons in this climate, and I am becoming a much more accomplished cook. I am so grateful for all of the changes, thank you Father, the Mighty King, Most High Jah.
I didn't used to get it. I was so trapped by misery that I couldn't see my way out to notice all the things I have for which to be grateful. Now that I am in this vibration, I am more aware of how much other people look and sound like I once did. I think it's because people are always seeking more; more money, more things, more status, more companionship, more love, more everything. They don't even see how much they already have. I don't have any children, and I would love to have at least one. Almost all of my friends have children. Some of them complain about not being able to have a life because of them, not having enough money because of their children's needs, some even wish they had never met the child's other parent, which of course would mean the child would never have been born. Children are a gift. They teach us and give us so much. I am thankful for all of the children, especially the ones who have entered my life in any way.
I hear people complain about work that needs to be done on their car or to their house, and I laugh because I remember how they worked their butts off, sacrificed, prayed, and and rejoiced to get that very car or house. It makes me think about what Bob Marley said, "Now you get what you want, do you want more?"
I don't think I'm better than anyone, not at all. I only speak on things I have done or been through myself. That phrase, "sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees" rang true for me a very short while ago, and I know it will take effort to keep that bell from ringing again.
Give thanks to the Creator, Higher Power, universe, whom or whatever you know as your truth, and if you don't believe in a higher power, give thanks to whomever helped you get or achieve all the things for which you most definitely have to be grateful, even if it's to your trainer for good health. We have so much in this country, so much that we waste more than other countries have. If you are able to read this blog, that means you have access to a computer and the Internet, so you are not doing too badly at all. For that, I give thanks.

What does money cost?

What is your measure of success? What do you value? What is most important to you? Before you answer, take a moment to think if your actions support the first answer that comes to your mind. Many people will give the pc answers of family, good health, friendship, love, but the things they do on a daily basis don't support that. If you're constantly working, hustling, chasing a dollar, or thinking of ways to do those things, then your answer to the questions is MONEY. People rationalize that they work hard to provide their families with the things they need. If you are able to provide your family with a really nice house, luxury cars, the best schools, designer clothes, the best health insurance, toys, etc, but you're working 50 hour weeks, traveling constantly for work, and always too tired to do anything, trust me when I tell you, you're not providing them with everything they need.

Children need time, wives need time, parents, other family, and friends,YOU need time to relax, reflect, enjoy, make memories, to love, to live. There's a saying that (I'm paraphrasing) 'time is the deposit that we make into the bank accounts of children's memories.' That goes the same for adults. Someone said to me the other day that we all have a little bit of "Think and Grow Rich" (by Napoleon Hill) in us. I replied that I don't have any desire to be rich except in spirit, love, good health, and relationships. Money can't buy what I'm seeking. I'm chasing peace, increased spirituality, love and happiness. If I had millions, it would mean nothing without people I care about to share it with.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to live the best life possible. The world has made it so that financial security is a basic human necessity. But is it such a necessity that you risk ruining your most important relationships? When one is very low income, as I have been, and some may consider me still, one learns to categorize things into "wants" and "needs". I've learned to use this system in many areas of my life and find that it would still be useful if I had millions. For instance, do you need a $5million dollar 20 room estate, or do you want it. Do you need a car to get around, ok yes, does it need to be a Maybach Mercedes or do you want it to be? Do your children want to spend time with you, or do they need to spend time with you? Hmmm. Does your spouse want you home to help out more or connect with you, or does he/she need you there? Things to consider when on that chase.

"People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." (Timothy 6:9-10). This is something I have witnessed with my own eyes. I have become estranged from friends who are so consumed with becoming rich, that they have no room in their lives for anyone or anything who is not on the same path. These books and 'gurus' who claim to have the secret to success all say to surround yourself only with people of like minds and desires. How does one learn and grow and see new perspectives if they only deal with people who think like them?

Life is too short to spend it chasing something as meaningless as a dollar. We can't take anything with us, but it's not about what we take with us, but what we leave behind.  So while you're hustling trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents, take a moment to consider the wealth that you are squandering.

Letting Go

Why is it so hard for us to let go of people, things and habits and move forward? Some of the people, things, and habits aren't good for us or to us, and even when we know that, we still can't let go. The best example is relationships. When we break up, there's always a period of time where we get back together or see each other as "friends" and we end up back in the same situation of pain and disappointment. It's like the saying about going to the refrigerator every time a commercial comes on like the contents have somehow changed in  that small amount of time. I'm not saying that people can't change, but for me to really believe that change has occurred, there needs to be a sufficient amount of time passed for the work and reflection needed for change to occur.

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. I'm not saying if someone says, 'I'm a good man or woman' to take their word. You will know them by their fruit. If you see a tree, and you don't know what kind of tree it is, wait and let it bear its fruit. Once you see it is an apple, pear, or lemon tree, taste the fruit. If the fruit is bad, it's bad. The only way that tree will bear good fruit is with some kind of maintenance like soil change happens, and then you need to wait till next year for it to bear new fruit.  My point is, if  you see an orange growing on a tree, stop thinking it will turn into an apple. If it's oranges you want, great, but if you taste it and the fruit is tart or dry, its not going to change just because you will it to.

Family is a lot harder to let go of, but sometimes we have to do that too. We give them a little more slack because they are family, but if they are mistreating or hurting you in any way, you have to let them go too. Family will be much more free with comments and actions that hurt your spirit or mind, and sometimes body, because they somehow feel that sharing DNA is a license to let loose on you.

When I moved, I gave away 13 bags of clothes and shoes, six boxes of books, Cd's, trinkets and a whole host of other things including furniture. I threw away quite a bit of "stuff" that had been clouding my life for years. I had stuff I hadn't even remembered I had. I packed clothes and a few necessities into my car and started off to a new life, light and free.

Then there are the habits. Smoking, drinking, drugs, over eating, eating junk food, promiscuity, and I could go on, are all things that hold us back from living a healthy happy life. What's good to us, is not always good for us. I was recently reasoning with a friend about the passage in the bible that says, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to give up all he has and enter into the kingdom of God." There are so many people I know who want to be healthier, happier, and have a closer relationship with God, but they admit that they don't want to give up the things that keep them from achieving those things. Yes it will be hard, but easy come, easy go. As a vegan, I have to go to two or three different places to shop for groceries and find what I need. In this new area I live in, I have yet to find a vegan restaurant. But, I have found a great produce store with inexpensive produce, I save money by not eating out, I am becoming a great cook, and on top of it all, I am healthier.

It is good to know your history, to be anchored to the past in a healthy way which reminds us of where and who we came from and what we are capable of achieving. But, holding onto people, things, and habits that are not good for us, or that do not serve a healthy purpose in our lives, chains us to the same position, like a dog chained to a tree, preventing us from moving forward to a better life. Let us be more like the Sankofa bird. This is a bird that can turn its head all the way around to look behind it. Its always, therefore, depicted that way.  It represents the fact that although the bird is constantly moving forward, it continually looks behind it - to its past. The key here is that the bird is "constantly moving forward" while looking back. If it isn't good for you, L.I.G., let it go. Remember the lesson you learned, and keep moving forward.

Negativity, the child of Fear

Ok, I gotta post twice today because this situation is related to this morning's post. Negativity. Lose it. I'm not talking just about yourself, I mean about others as well. I know, I do it too, but hearing from someone else about another who is just seeking happiness, even if it's not in the most productive way, just brings the fire up inside me. Negativity is negativity no matter if it's directed toward yourself or someone else. It's effect on you will be the same, negative.
You ever wonder why sometimes though you work hard you don't get promoted, you eat right and exercise, yet your health is poor, you love hard, and get no love in return? Could it be that though you're positive about your own life, you belittle another's? Have you ever said, 'so and so will never find a woman because he is too  lazy or selfish'? Or maybe you've uttered, 'she should never wear purple, it makes her look like barney.' Well, when things are going badly in your life, think back and say a prayer for forgiveness if you have said or done anything less than positive towards or about another.

The author Michael Prichard said, "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." So when you are being negative, there must be something you're afraid of creating that negativity. Check yourself. Are you afraid that if someone else succeeds or finds happiness that it would reflect badly on you? Would it show your shortcoming somehow? Would it make you feel badly about yourself, or envious? When a negative thought comes to your head, immediately ask yourself, 'what am I afraid of?'

Most of us are doing the best we can with what we have. Even if we aren't doing the best we are capable of doing, it's the best we can do at the time until we face some truths and change things around. There are people who I care about deeply, but they aggravate the heck out of me sometimes, but I love them and I wish the best for them. The best includes love, peace, joy, wisdom, and understanding. I help as much as I can,  but they have to do their part, so I just pray for them. Remember what Groundation said, "If you wish, please wish them well."

Step out on Faith

As a queen, one must blaze trails, set the example, show the possibilities. This is not something I've just learned, I am just now starting to accept it and put it into practice. I'm starting with baby steps. Although I am considered an extroverted and dynamic personality, believe or not, I get shy and hesitant around new people. I just never know how they receive me, I have a big personality. But when one is in a situation like I am where you really don't know anyone, it's kind of a go big or go home scenario. So I ventured out and met some new people. It was a good experience.

I am inspired now to pull myself out of my comfort zone and explore even more things that might have intimidated or even scared me in the past. There are so many things that I want to do in life, so many things that I am supposed  to do in life, and I have curled up in the corner with my head covered long enough. Why does fear have such a hold on us? What, really, is the worst that can happen? I mean fears are for the most part irrational. I'm not talking about being afraid of a gunman in your office, that's real. I'm talking about the unknown, that which has not, and may not happen. Many people have a fear of failure, some a fear of success, or maybe even both. Why else would we not at least try to accomplish goals, dreams, and aspirations we've long held.

There are many things that I would love to do or accomplish, and I am well equiped to do so. But as we get older, fear gets bigger. We see or go through tough times and we do all we can to avoid being there, even live a less fulfilling, less purpose filled life. There's a saying that if you do what you love, you'll love what you do. We all know it's true. But we still resist. It's money. People worry about making enough money to survive. When people are unemployed, they put a lot of time, effort, and energy into finding another job. Why not put that same time, effort, and energy into finding a way to do what you've always wanted to do, and  pay the bills too? That's what entertainers and athletes do.

So, my next mission as an emerging queen, is to set the example and start finding a way to do at least one of the many things I've always wanted to do. No more fear! I'm going to live the best life possible. No one can dissuade me, no nay sayers, no negative nellies. I've seen what can happen in a small way by the tiniest effort, so no one can tell me differently. Today is the day you should start living your dream. Start by doing one small thing you've been afraid to do, and tell me how that made you feel. I bet it's great.

Precious Commodity

Knowledge is power, so it's no wonder that people want to sell knowledge or loan it out, but not give it away. Who would want to give away their power? Well, remember, we are all connected. What happens to one, happens to all. So, if a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, why wouldn't we as a collective, want to strengthen every link? I am just so frustrated with our capitalistic, stingy, greedy society these days. People try to sell everything from water to knowledge. Yes you can find any and everything on the Internet, but you will most likely have to pay for it.

"Buy the truth but do not sell it; also wisdom, instruction, and understanding."(Proverbs 23:23) I was in  a discussion last night with a friend who was upset that he had loaned out a book which hadn't yet been returned. He had a 'feeling' that the individual hadn't even read it yet. So, I asked, 'did your friend know he had a time limit on when to get this knowledge?' Why would he not allow the man to gain wisdom in his own time? Why loan the book out like you're doing a great favor if you are going to wring your hands until it is returned? I had a friend who told me that she had a book that I needed to read. She said it was right in line with my frame of mind at the time and I would benefit from it. But she wouldn't loan it to me. So, she knew it would help me, give me knowledge and wisdom that I needed, but she was afraid to loan it to me?

I take issue with the idea of hoarding knowledge and keeping it only for those who can afford to pay for it. It is a tactic used to keep the lowly, downtrodden, and poor people exactly where they are. Once you receive knowledge and wisdom, I believe you should share it. If you don't intend to share it, you cannot complain about how many ignorant people there are in the world.

If you had to pay or barter for every piece of  information you received in your lifetime, would it make the knowledge more precious to you? Would you make it your purpose in life to work hard enough to obtain all of the knowledge and wisdom you could? Think about it before you answer. Did you like school? What do you work hard to obtain now? Do you know anyone who knew they couldn't afford to go to college so they learned just enough to graduate high school and then went straight into the workforce? Yeah, we bust our butts to buy a house or a car, but what about a book? If there was a book that you could read that would end all of your troubles; financial, health, mental, emotional, love, everything, how much would you be willing to pay for it? Better yet, once you read it, would you share it?